So last night, my anxiety hit me hard and I cried for like 3hrs. When I woke up today, I felt like my head were spinning like a rollercoaster and I feel the tension inside my head. I want to have a rest today but I still need to make an article.

So instead, I'll be making this 4th batch of question diary where everyone can answer this also. Enjoy!

Write out 5 compliments you can give yourself.

Oh, I don't know how to compliment myself but let's try.

• You're lovable. Always remember that.

• You deserve everything that you received. Stop thinking you're not.

• You're strong enough to handle everything. Keep on your head that you are a strong woman who can keep everything on its place.

• You've got a pretty good grades, don't worry. I know you lost your scholar because of the unsubmitted projects to PE dur of operation and that's okay, you still do your best.

• You're good dealing with them, there will be a good result soon. I know life is hard, but you still kept your heads up.

Can you accept compliments easily?

• Uhm, no. It's actually hard for me to accept compliments that were from others. I can't compliment myself sho whenever that I receive a compliment, I was having a hard time to believe them and to listen to what they said. For me, complimenting me is just a joke because I don't have any self confidence that was made for myself. I even told the others that, I feel sorry anutime that they were complimenting me because I can't even accepted it.

To be honest, I don't know the reason why I'm having a hard time to accept any compliments that were said by others. When they said that I am good at everything, for me they just saying it so that I can have more self confidence.

Do you believe people can really change?

• Of course, there a lot of people who already change. There are people who used to make a big crimes but look at them now. They were more successful than the normal human being, plys if they didn't changed it will be hard for them to do things that they know they can do.

Even the most depressed and stress person can change, they can be the most happiest person that the world can have. Even the people who's regretting their life can change, they can be the people who will full of lives. Even the atheist can change, because there are people who starts believing in God after receiving a miracle.

See? A lot of people can change according to their role and lesson. And I know, every struggle have their answers. Not now, but soon.

What's a goal you want to accomplish and why?

• To be honest I want to be a lawyer, I'm a pol-sci student but I switch into Office Ad because the tuition was huge and I can't afford to pay them.

Okay so story time.

Some of you know that I was molested by my ninang's husband and my step-sister's son, No one listened to me back then. They said that I was just telling and stories and maybe I was just joking. When they asked me what what happened, I explained that my ninang's husband blabla (I'm not going to say the details of what happened, this one were so confidential.)

But his wife, told my family that maybe he was just playing. But a lot of villagers at laspiñas already knew that he was a maniac person but still my parents didn't believe me because they give a good deeds to my parents.

So why I want to be a lawyer? I want to save someone who's been molested but not able to raise their voice to the public. Actually, I'm regretting the fact that I didn't fight back that time it's because I was too young. What happened before is the result of my strong personality right now, I'm thankful because the past have no effect now but still there's a lesson that teach me how to deal with those things now that I am a lady.

If my body could talk, it would say…

"Don't be ashamed, you're beautiful and have a sexy curved body that was love by everyone. You just need confidence."

What are you looking forward to today?

• A peace of mind, I already spent my night crying because of the family issue again. I feel drained and I need to rest up.

Until now I can feel the tension above my head, I feels like it was going to explode. To be honest, my head were hurting and I can't explain how hurt it was. I just don't feel okay and doesn't have any appetite to do something even to write.

Maybe because of the pressure and tension, I wish I can have a peacef mind before leaving here. I can't take it anymore.

Do you think time heals all wounds?

• Unfortunately, yes. Wounds can heal when the time passes. There are wounds that can't heal after many times, years, decades, and days or weeks it's because of the trauma that they've been through.

We can't blame those people who's still living to their past life, because sometimes it was the only way to connect everything that gone a good thing to us until now. And there are people who can't leave their past because of being afraid or scared, they are afraid that it could be repeated or someone keep reminding them about that.

Most of the times, letting the time flow teaching us to let go of everything also to let the time heal us from the traumatic event that occured to our past experiences. But still, this one takes time. It's true that time heals all wounds but also letting it heal us takes time because we need to adjust first.

The reason why I can't let go of my past before, it's because my 3 years ex kept reminding me about that. She also abused my dignity because of my past, I'm just a coward to not realizing them before. Welp, she's my first one so I can't blame myself. What important is everything was already ended.

Final Thought

Hey! There's a song where I recommend to listen.

Kindly click the video below:

This was published 3weeks ago, it's so soootthiiingggg and good to hear, I felt like this one has the good sounds at all musics that I've heard🥺💕.

Hope you guys like it!

OGLU2022
MARCH 07, 2022