@NinoJade 27 July 2020 more from that month

I was depressed before I learned to write - My first poem

I was on the 8th grade, going to grade 9. It was the summer of 2018, I am still new and kinda messy because I felt that something is wrong in my life. I didn't have any close friends, well I have friends but not technically called a close friend. I feel like I've been taken advantage with my colleagues and classmates. There was never a companion to share about. I admit that I also have trust issues with other people, because my bestfriend betrayed me when I was in 4th grade. More on that later. I have trouble seeking out help... It was the darkest nights that brought my pen to write. I never knew writing before. I mean, I write just for grades. I never wrote something from the heart, my previous poems are bland, emotionless, nothing, no meaning, it was dead. When I started to write my first poem, it was filled with sadness. I am having goosebumps while writing this article because I still remember the first lines that I wrote. Darkness paves above the skies Here below I'm waiting to rise I don't know what love feels like In my life that's as cold as ice It is about me who finds a companion. Who finds love in every direction. My parents nurtures me with love, but sometimes I don't feel they do. My eyes saw you yesterday The whole world has started to play My heartbeat so high then it spikes I'm looking for another way Then I started to talk about a fictional girl. I spun up the poem with pure wonder and love. It makes me feel good. By the way, this is a lyrical poem. It can be sung by me <3 I feel a little bit crazy 'Cause your eyes are very lovely You really made me inspired Girl, you are special to me Here's the Pre-Chorus, which is kinda lively in tune than the second verse. Writer's love, is not a story Writer's love, not a fantasy I want a world only you and me Together we create our story The chorus describes it everything, what I desire of that time a love from the other person <3 Imagine we're writing whole night Under the stars glitter so white Your are the one who made me inspired Came to me like a light so bright So yeah, I imagined this girl as being a writer too. This is the verse 3. A writer's love, a sad place I feel alone all these days No one either cares about me In this life tied with black lace Only I can do is write My love for you is a dynamite It's impossible that you'll be mine I don't know how to turn on the lights The verse 4 and 5 gets it a little bit serious. Because it is truly impossible to have a fictional girl in real life. Only I can do is to write. Writer's love, impossible to fake Oh myself, stand up and wake You see that girl? Will not be yours Accept the fact, it's for your sake What if? I got a lucky chance What if? You and me in romance I will take care for you forever I'll never let you go, I promise The verse 6 and 7, I started to talk about it with myself how impossible it is. But there is still hope, I am filled with what if's. Writer's love, is not a story Writer's love, not a fantasy I love you cause you're a writer too I'll never let you go I promise. The last verse, this is the most painful tune. I wrote these lines as the fictional me, or myself chooses to be on the fantasy, but denying it actively. So here it is, my first poem that I've wrote with emotions. It is refreshing to go back where I started. The first emotional words. If you want to see the full poem, go to this FB page https://www.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=874099059452275&id=874093676119480 https://mbasic.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=874099059452275&id=874093676119480 You can also follow me on Wattpad: @SikritPirson Thank you for reading