Hospitality Gone Wrong

October 10, 2022

Hospitable- Filipinos are admired in that aspect. Part of Filipino culture instilled in us is being hospitable at all costs. Filipinos are overly hospitable. This is not about how some of us take a loan just to provide a comfortable stay to our guests. It's quite different.

Zia is a director and an assistant professor. She does a lot in her workplace making her exhausted to do house chores. She doesn't cook because of her busyness that's why she takes delight when her daughter takes over the kitchen. She was a hands-on mom before when her kids were younger but when they're grown up, she has learned to take it easy.

This setup is completely okay with her family. They understood that a career woman tends to have little to no time to do the house works. However, when the sister of her husband came home, everything changed.

Her sister-in-law works as a nurse in another country. They came home to visit their family as they haven't seen each other for almost twenty-five years. Her mom in laws house is far and she finds it inconvenient to house them there. For this reason, she welcomed her sister-in-law and her family at her house. She was happy to see how her kids bonded with their cousins whom they haven't met for a while. But she turned out to be Cinderella. She takes care of everything in the kitchen to make her in-laws comfortable. She wakes up early in the morning to wrap ground pork and prepare meals for them. On top of that, she goes to work every day. The nature of her job is demanding. To the point that she still got calls even on weekends and holidays.

She hated house chores but still does them because she was afraid of the negative comments her in-laws might throw at her. It amazed me how her personality turned 360 degrees. She's someone you won't want to mess up at work but it's surprising to know that only her in-laws would make her a sheep.

She's exhausted. She shared how she's exhausted with her situation now.

Relating her experiences to my future, I think I couldn't go a long way to please my future in-laws. If I work like her, I would never exhaust myself doing house chores just to avoid negative comments from them. I would let them be. I prefer being hurt by their negative comments to sacrificing just to please them.

I'm not a good host. At home when my aunts and uncles would visit, we would hide or go to my grandma's house using the back door. Sometimes, if we like the visitor, we stay but if not, we escape. You know how those conversations with our aunts and uncles go. It would lead to comparison. I want to avoid acquiring hard feelings.

So, I think I won't be going a long way and doing the extra mile to avoid negative comments from future in-laws. I can't afford to do anything beyond my capability just to please others and avoid criticism.

Thanks for reading.

Until then.

*lead image is from unsplash.com