almost is never enough

I almost had a boyfriend when I was in my second year in College. We talked almost every night and updated each other on our whereabouts. But he ghosted me.

Kevin was my clasmate in highschool. He is chubby and he was the type of student who just sits still on his chair and boss around his other boy classmates. He would asked them to buy him food and do errands for him while he stays on his seat,listening to music, busy paying mobile game on his phone or laughing with the rest of his group.

That was my only memory of him as a classmate. I never really got a chance to be friends with him since my seat was at the last row while his was on the middle. I never want to be close and be friends with him either because back then my two seatmates are boys and the three of us are solid. We don't want any other in our group. It was just only me, Gabriel and Jose. We study together because our teachers don't mind those who are sitting at the back that much.

I can't remember how it started but when I'm in second year in college, I got connected with Kevin on messenger. I never expected that we would talk about things beyond the normal Hi and Hello. We talked about different things, of the past and of the present. We would talk almost every night and even at dawn because he would play basketball at dawn but before and after that we would talk first.

Until one day, he confessed that he had a crush on me since we were highschool. Oh noo, that spells trouble. I knew that time that I will be in trouble. My parents clearly stated rules that I must not get into a relationship if I'm still studying as they said that it will only bother me. True enough, it bothered me.

I told Kevin about my worries and he accepted it. But still our nightly conversation hasn't ended and before I knew it we were exchanging " I Love You's". Our love was online then and would blossom when we are both active on messenger.

One time, Kevin asked me to meet him which I declined no matter how much he assured me that I will be safe with him. He told me he just wanted to see me and be with me even just for a day. He took photos of the necklace he just purchased from her aunt that he wanted to give me when we will meet. I never gave in. I was firm with my decision. I'm not ready to meet him yet and I don't want to do something behind my parent's back.

Weeks passed by, when Kevin informed me that they will move to Canada for good but before that he wanted to meet me at least once. But I still didn't gave him a chance. I even accused him that he is tricking me. He just made up those words for me to meet him. But I was wrong.

Prior to that, Kevin told me that he will head to his boarding house to get his rice cooker. I told him to just leave them there because he will still use it in the next academic year. But he insisted. He even told me that they would have a general cleaning at home. That is when I realized that he is really telling the truth.

Kevin flew to Canada with his family. They were so happy. His siblings and his parents. They were all excited. Kevin shared to me some snaps of their daily living and his whereabouts. We were fine then. We are still the same. Two opposite sex exchanging I Love you's. We only lack label. We would talk to each other even when we had different time zones. But we managed to pull it off. We were okay until such time he went cold.

His messages were not the same and our conversation ended. He doesn't want to bother me on my studies. He wants me to focus. Haha! What a lame excuse! It's too late I got 2.5 on one of my major subjects.

I cried. I begged. Yes, I did. My heart was shattered into pieces that time and all I can do is share sad quotes on facebook hoping that he will realize things and come back to me. But I was wrong.

I devised another plan to get his attention. I started chatting with him again asking him, "Where did I go wrong?" "What did I do wrong to change your mind completely?" Haha.

Good morning read-friends! It's 12:11 a.m. here in my side of the globe😂 so I will just continue writing about my random love story tomorrow. Hahaha

Thank you so much everyone! To my sponsors, upvoters, to the people who spent time to read and comment, you made my soul happy! Thank you heaps!

September 15, 2021

12:10 a.m. | wednesday

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