This Too Shall Pass

Problems Test Your Resolve

You don't know how strong you can be until you being strong becomes the only option.

I am sure we all have been in those kind of situations that felt like the end of the world, that felt like our breath was being taken away. I am sure we all have, but years later, here we still are, still finding reasons to laugh.

Whenever I talk about this particular topic, I usually always think back to a particular incident that gave me one of the biggest scares of my life.

A friend of mine passed out in my house, right in front of me, because certain situation she had banked on ultimately flopped. I was so terrified that I started praying, because I feared the worst had happened. Is she dead? How do I explain that she just collapsed and died?

Well, lucky for me, she didn't die. In fact, during my prayers and vigorously shaking her, she came to (I don't think it was the prayers) and started crying. Damn, all I could do was pacify her and tell her it was gonna be okay.

The truth is, this situation wasn't actually a life and death situation. It was one which she still had a choice and a say in, but she had so much banked on a particular outcome, that she had become very comfortable in the idea of the outcome and any other thing would be a disaster.

In hindsight though, it is easy to think this was such an insignificant thing to worry about, but at that point in time, her whole world was crashing.

We Suffer More In Imagination Than In Reality

My friend's situation gives credit to the thought that the human mind has a way of magnifying every negative situation we find ourselves in and also has a way of making the positive situation seem common and ordinary.

This is why I usually find solace in the philosophy of the ancient stoics. Seneca said "we are more often frightened than hurt; and suffer more from imagination than reality". Now look at that.

One of the things I said to pacify my friend was "it may hurt now, but in 6 months time, you won't even remember this happened". It sounded patronizing when I said it, but in about a year's time, I reminded her about it and we had a good laugh.

Now, it is something to laugh about, but back then, when she was up to her eyes in fright, all she wanted to do was have the ground swallow her whole.

We Really Suffer More In Our Minds

I had an accomodation problems one time, I couldn't pay my rent and I was on the brink of eviction. Although it hurt me that I was about to become homeless, but the dread more was about my neighbors seeing my properties being dragged out of my house, or even friends and family finding out that I was so broke that I couldn't afford my rent.

You see, these situations were just harmless thoughts of other people. I mean harmless because what they think isn't gonna cause me any physical discomforts, and in the end, it would be them expending more energy than. But, I spend time, worrying about it, making it more tangible than it should be and at the end of the day, it becomes a big deal.

In this situation, I was first of all worried that my word (to pay my rent at a so date) would amount to nothing, because I couldn't keep my word(honor/ego). Then I became more worried that image with my neighbors is going to be jeopardized (my ego), then my image (ego) with friends and family.

Ego is an enemy, conquer it, do not pay mind to what people may think or say, people always say something, so think about solutions to your problems instead of what people may say.

There is an adage in my tribe that translates to "a problem that has no existing solution would have one created for it". Imagine imbibing such tenacious mindset, a mindset of never giving up and giving in to your situation.

The thing is, our problems can not stop the movement of time, because no human problem is actually that important/signicant. And as long as time keeps passing, our problems would have to blend in with the program and either became less of a problem, or a solution meets it halfway.

Sometimes, when faced with the toughest situation of your life yet, solution may come in varying forms.

Sometimes you just have to wait it out, sometimes you just have to talk to a friend, other times its about making a difficult decision. But, no problem is too big to stop time, although it may stop your own time, if terminal illness is the problem.

So, when it feels like there's no help in sight and you are freaking out, always remember, this too shall pass.