From pregnancy to delivery until today, I make it a point to document my little one's progress or should I say my motherhood journey. I did mention here that when I discovered that I am pregnant again after two years, after my ectopic pregnancy, I made sure to journal my journey and so I kept my weekly updates in there, the pain, the struggle, the restrictions, and more but most especially the joy that it brought to my life.
Thinking about 2020 and COVID-19, I wondered how would my pregnancy be if the pandemic didn't happen? My husband and I love traveling, we had two plane tickets to Camiguin and Siargao but both were canceled. If the pandemic didn't happen, I might have photos of myself with a big baby bump on a surfing board! Oh writing this makes me want to book a ticket to Siargao but maybe I can wait until Matti would start appreciating nature and travel. I can't wait for him to encounter nature and wonder together!
Today's article is all about the joys of motherhood. I had written an article about the The Pain of Motherhood and to make things fair, I am sharing this time the joys that it yields because after all, it is supposed to be a joyful adventure being gifted with a precious baby.
Hearing Baby's Heartbeat the First Time
I only came to hear my baby's heartbeat at week 35 due to the community quarantine restrictions and my OB being away from work, we had to reschedule the checkups a lot of times.
My OB used a fetal doppler and when she placed that in a specific area in my belly, it started making this "thug thug thug" sound. And she said that's your baby's heartbeat!
I wished I could share how I felt with my husband but he was not permitted to go inside the clinic due to COVID constraints.
After that OB checkup, she'd do the fetal doppler thing each visit. I was so close to buying a fetal doppler myself so I could hear the heartbeat whenever I wanted at home but I was taken aback by some reviews online. I guess if I'll become pregnant again, I will buy one.
Baby's Movement
It's weird having something in me moving but it was also a happy feeling. Whenever I eat something sweet, the baby kicks and jabs and rolls and does whatever he desired inside of me. I kept a kick counter for monitoring purposes.
At week 20 when I felt his movement but it was weeks after that I started seeing his fingers and feet making markings and forms in my belly, it delights me that I would constantly take videos of it. I didn't care if my camera's memory card gets full, I just want to have something to reminisce about in the future.
Those moments are very precious, I'd sometimes shed a tear realizing the miracle that was going on inside of me. I also watched videos online on how a baby is formed, how it looks at this number of weeks, and so on. I would often imagine how he looks. A mother's body is so strong and delicate at the same time! I was always in bewilderment each time, I always end up praising our Maker for His great design.
First Cry
Labor and giving birth are both painful but there's a reason for the pain and with the right mindset, that there is joy after the pain, that I am going to meet my little angel, that momentary feeling won't be the focus but the joy that comes afterward.
Hearing my baby's very first cry was worth celebrating. I now understood why we ought to commemorate birthdays because moms go through an almost-death experience just giving birth. The entrance of a beautiful miracle deserves to be celebrated of course!
His Smiles
On the first week as a mother, I was depressed, due to the fact that I have to give formula to my precious one. I keep doing all the things that I could do to increase my milk supply but he was always crying even after feeds. But when I was able to breastfeed him exclusively and stick to not giving formula, a miracle happened, he smiled at me after a feed.
I guess he was so full that he had dreams and he was smiling. I can't help but take photographs of that moment. I knew right there and then that I am winning the breastfeeding challenges which I had gone through.
Thank God that by His grace, until today, I am exclusively breastfeeding my baby.
When He Puts His Palm in My Mouth During Feeds
There's a different joy that I feel whenever my baby puts his hand or palm into my mouth while I am breastfeeding him. I can't identify the very first time that he did that but every particular moment that he does it, I become happy.
My Oxytocin I guess spikes whenever he does it. He would also smile, giggle and laugh as I try to act as if I am eating his hand. He loves it and every single feed, he would do it.
I read somewhere that when a baby does this, he is trying to give back the love and care that the mother gives him when breastfeeding. I am not sure if that's true but I want to believe it to be real.
When He Calls Me Mama
When Matti turned 8 months, Matti somehow managed to say mama and I could still recall how I felt. I hugged and kissed him. I asked him a lot of times to say it again and again. It was the sweetest thing that I heard of at that time and I couldn't get over it even until today.
Whenever Matti shouts mama, it's just a nice thing to know that he needed me. It's a different feeling having someone who depends on you or needs you. It's a driving force, a motivation to continue living and to do my best in everything that I do because I know sooner he will see and will also follow me.
Milestones
With every milestone that the baby acquires and achieves, there's a heart that leaps and rejoices. The mother would always be the number one fan of her child, no matter what.
Every child is unique and their milestones as well come at different timelines, thus it is important not to compare. The best thing a mother can do is to be there for her child, teaching him or her every step of the way, above all, it is great to be cheering for them, making them feel that they have our support.
Conclusion
For first-time moms like me, it is pure joy to have been blessed with a child. It is a gift from heaven and that taking care of them is undeniably an experience we want to sketch in our hearts forever. The joy of motherhood is to love their kids.
A mother will not stop loving her kids even when they grow and would leave the comforts of her tender care. While they are still dependent and would need us, let's cherish these moments. They grow very fast so the joy that this brings, let's treasure and savor every inch of it.
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xoxo,
mommy jean of momentswithmatti
Love harder than any pain you've ever felt.
After reading this sis, All I can say is that I am glad I am a woman and a Mother. I totally agree that having a child is really our greatest joys in life. We have to undergo so much a combination of pain, of hard work and the opposite the love, the laughter the Joys. They are all incomparable. Matti is one lucky kid. His mom loves to document everything and has the tools and the means to do so.