LIL (Lost In Life)

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3 years ago

If you're somewhere between mid-twenties and thirties, welcome to the club! Welcome to adulthood.

True or False there are times that you experience a serious Iow point in your life. You question if you're pursuing the right career or that you'll ever be happy with any career. You look at the mirror and ask yourself what ever happened to the younger version of you who is full of life, idealisms, ambition and positive energy You fear that youth is slipping from your hands, not you want nothing more than the stability that adulthood brings.

Entering adulthood is such a tough time. It's the time in life where we are thrown with a mix of successions of transitions graduation from college, finding a job, figuring out where and how to live, and searching for a life- long partner. All these make us feel doomed to end up confused, alone and worried if the future still holds a blue sky for us Worse, this trial of confused identity, misguided purpose and hopeless transition makes us feel lost, anxious and panicked. But you . are not alone, there are a lot more people out there who feel like this. This time of great anxiety in life is the quarter life crisis, and it's very real for a lot of young people.

I have witnessed a lot of friends and colleagues quit their jobs and pursue other careers only to quit again. Some continuously change from one city to another not knowing what they really want. And a few long-term relationships have been ended because of the sudden ear of being stuck in it forever. For me, quarter-life crisis hit me with the anxiety that I will grow old, stagnant in my present profession, while I see my colleagues travelling abroad, getting big pay checks, driving brand new cars having their dream weddings and settling down in their own home.

A crisis in your mid and late twenties is practically inevitable, and you're not the only person to feel this way. Successful and happy people from all walks of life have experience a similar crisis and even your parents did too. Your situation is not unique and what you're going through is totally normal according to renowned developmental psychologist, Eric Erikson in his 1950's theory of psychological development, emerging adults find themselves in the confluence of two major life stages, namely Identity vs. Confusion and Intimacy vs Isolation.

The stage of Identity vs Confusion encompasses the teen years and even those who are in their twenties or early thirties. It is this stage where your sense of identity develops-who you are, where you came from, where you stand for, where you fit in the society in other words, this stage is when you figure out who you want to be when you grow up Failing to figure this out may result in insecurity and confusion. This issue may not be resolved by the time when the next smack down comes arouNd Intimacy vs Isolation, which Erikson theorized spanned from age 20- 40 At this stage the ability to form close relationships, whether romantic or not, is the core of this challenge. If deep ties with family, friends or partner aren't formed, we risk loneliness and isolation in both two stages, a lot is at stake.

According to a more recent study and an updated version of the theory of Erikson made by Dr Oliver Robinson at the University of Greenwich, this time in life breaks dawn into five main phases:

Phase One. You feel trapped by your life choices, like your job relationship or both. You're living an autopilot.

Phase Two. You get a sense of " I've got to get out of this" and feels growing sense that change is possible if you just take a leap.

Phase Three. You quit the job, end a relationship, or break the commitment that's making you feel you trapped. Then you detach and enter a 'time-out' period where you try to rediscover who you are and who you want to be.

Phase Four: You begin rebuilding your life slowly but surely.

Phase Five: You develop new commitments that are more in line with your interests and aspirations.

Most people come out the other end in a better mental state, but this period of limbo can still reset in a lot of pain and Confusion. For the meantime, here are some tips or surviving this juncture in life.

  1. Stop Comparing.

  2. Talk about it.

  3. Stop 'Should-ing' yourself

  4. Realize is not a race.

  5. Be realistic.

Do you want that promotion? Start by researching the qualifications for it and focus on a requirement one at a time. Do you want that cake business you always dreamed of when you were young? Start by investing in yourself with a short bake course, then a year after maybe you can buy a mini oven. Along the way, trouble and conflicts will come so expect the worst and be fluid about it.Once you start creating realistic, manageable plans to deal with your biggest stressor, you'll have much easier time keeping yourself out of the same type of crisis in the future.

The struggle of quarter-life crisis is real. At this stage we may know what we want out of life, but we don't know how and we don't know if it will happen This period seems to be a 'make or break juncture which will define whether our lives will be successful or a failure We are all very cautious at this point, almost feeling wary and worried at the same time. But no matter how lost and anxious you fed, remember that your situation is not unique Countless people have made it through, and so will you.

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3 years ago

Comments

the great side

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3 years ago

Yes sir.

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3 years ago

Its really a deep part of life to think about getting to that stage where one gahts think of moving and doing things to make him or herself happier but this adulthood stage really got many people trapped in an endless circle which only a well organized purposeful planning can get you were u think to be successful. Living in this recent time alone is full of risk. such is life.

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3 years ago

That is how life cycle is. Life has different stages which we need to experienced to attain highest aspect of. Just brace your self and always see the bright side of life, Life goes on and on. :) Btw, Good morning. Thank you for commendation!

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3 years ago

Wow it's just awesome.you are a brilliant writer.

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3 years ago

Thank you very much for your commendation. Much Appreciated. :)

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3 years ago

It takes a strong conviction to get through that period properly, greetings.

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3 years ago

Yes Agreed. A a strong one is needed.

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3 years ago

a period full of instability in determining identity. and I think you've had a great, interesting and useful writing.

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3 years ago

Thank you for appreciating. :)

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3 years ago

Earning about home ministryj help

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3 years ago

I experienced this kindnof confusion back then actually until now 😄 I just go with the flow.

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

Ohhhh wow. Its real. How old are you now?

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3 years ago

Im 28. Hehe

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

Oh I see. Medyo 7 years older than me. Haha

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3 years ago

yeah. Mga bata pa kayo e haha.

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

Oh I saw your homepage. Congrats.

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3 years ago

Congrats for what?

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

For the effort of good article and condolences as well.

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3 years ago

Oh that one. Gulat din ako dun e. Nasa 28$ na upvote nya. Hindi naman yun talagang effort na effort e. Ginunita ko lang yung samahan namin. Sabi nga ng asawa ko baka daw dahil sa kaibigan ko kaya naupvote.

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

Haha so matanda kana po? Jokee. Maganda pala bigayan ngayon sa RC random rewarder. Loved it. The quality now are being payed off. Even I am busy I can earn now by posting somewhat good article. Just sharing ma'am. How about you?

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3 years ago

Oo matanda na hahaha. So far happy ako sa new system. I posted 4 articles since the random reward implement and 3 out of my 4 article got an upvote. didiscourage na nga ako after knowing na wala ng points tapos bigla laki ng upvote sakin. Sobrang thank you lang ako.

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

Ata ki laksen ata to sobai ke beba chaiky fala dise ami o bustai si na ata ki kintu khub valo leksen..good very good

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3 years ago

I didn't understand the whole comment. What language is that sir? Bangladeshi? But than you very much sir!

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3 years ago

welcome back

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3 years ago

Haha nag balik ako wala na points pano na daw ini.

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3 years ago

mag taga post kalang, malay mo matip an a ni robot

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3 years ago

Na tippan ako ni Robot 😍😍😍

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3 years ago

Nice "If you're somewhere between mid-twenties and thirties, welcome to the club! Welcome to adulthood."

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3 years ago