You're My Agony and Relief

6 26

Written by

MidnightSky

Am I Good? Please bare with my grammar I'm no saint kidding haha

2 years ago

In community: Just Write(e5e5)

Topics: Appreciation, English, Emotions, Share, Writings, ...

This push and pull situation that we had everytime we are on each others arms,

I can't help but to stop this feeling I have for you, you let me in but then you suddenly want me out of you life, I don't know what I'm supposed to do, you are like a vast of ocean. You are full of mysteries, It is hard to know you, it's hard to explore you and read what really is on your mind, it's hard but I'm still trying, I'm still be willing to swim through the deep of this wide ocean of your life, even I let myself be drown by you.

"Ever love someone that can make your eyes roll and smile after"

That's what I always feel and will always be want to feel all over again, I want to see those glimmering wide smile of yours, I wanted to look at your eyes and see emotions because you always hide it, you are good at it, you are great on hiding and showing what you really feel at the exact moment, I understand that, I always respect that, even sometimes I don't really understand what are those things and motives you gave to me, it's like you want me yet you don't,

One time I had this friend of mine who is like my sisters to me that act so kindly and clingy but it's normal to us, she was side hugging me while we are walking the corridor in our school, but then a cold figure that seems like torturing me just by the glare of her eyes that screams frustration and anger while looking at us,

Yes I don't know if you're jealous or what but I know I need to be at control this time, I stop on my tracks and my friend was so confused looking at me, I just excuse myself to her, when I'm far now from her, one cold hand grip me in my arms and just by that I see ypu walking so fast holding me and making me go with you to whatever I don't know, I just let you pulled me,

We stop at the silent place in the garden behind our school, I see you taking your time to breathe, and you sit on the bench in the garden while crossing your arm at your chest, you are so adorable by that time you look like a jealous furious cat in my eyes, but I erase that thoight when you stated to look at me,

Those looks that I've always seen, it seems like it screams anger, sadness but one thing for sure it's longing, I can't help myself but to be this soft again to you, I sat beside you and I know where will it be again, we are now both in silence, not the awkward one but to this calming silence,

I'm afraid you might hear the loud sound beating of my heart everytime I'm with you, I can see you heaved a sigh and look at me, you held my hand and just by that, it's like a my body is in high voltage current, I can't help but to feel like this when your skin contact mine, I'm so red as tomato I can feel it haha, but then you let go of ut, you stand up and I'm still confused by that,

See you are really good at this, you are good at giving people this assurance then just let them hang in thw air, you were supposed to go when I held your arm,

"what are we?" I asked calmly without looking at her

"let go" you said firmly with a cold tone voice

I can't help myself so I don't do what you said instead I confess, I don't know if it's a confession or what...

"why you love to do this stuffs with me, you are like making me looks like a foll that will participates in you game, your game that you aren't sure of where we are going through, why are you playing with my feeling, one time you want me, then suddenly don't, can you just please explain to me why?, you let me be drown to you, you are the one who cause me pain but also the one who can be my pain reliever,

You are my both fever and my remedy, I can't help but to be scared to be overdose myself because of you so please enlighten me will you?... "

Silence... A deafening silence before you remove your hand at your arms

" sorry" you said with calmness in your voice

I look at you but you are now looking down, I can't see you face because your long black hair cover it while yor eyes are focusing at the ground,

"I- I'm-..."

You were cut off when the school bell rangs that tells that we supposed to be go to our respective classes,