My Shades of Red

The conscientiousness of admiting that we people sometimes shows the hue that really difficult to detach and cut off cause we really are born and it's in our nature red signs and redflags are always be part of our existence, oh come one there is no such thing as perfect, to be honest those people whom you labeled as a green flas has also those red flag on their personality, we have all our bad and toxic sides that we sometimes change or maybe not.

Toxic? Yes, there are frequent times that even I, could see myself eye to eye, those toxic traits, I'm disclosing and admit that I once become a toxic in ths lifetime of mine, frankly I really love my toxic side before and can't leave off without behaving that one. Toxic when they say, but truthfully I once love that side of me in the past but yeah I will not grow by just being like that so I'm trying hard to avoid it, but still there are times that it will always shown, I think that's a part of me that hard to masked up.

This articles is base on what I've notice about my shades of myself as a being in a red hue that even my bestfriend notice it, okay fine, we had a coffee yesterday morning and yeah we also brought up the topic about our toxicity haha and kinda engross by that topic and we forgot the time already so I go home late haha, furthermore let's go to the topic

But first let me just flex my cool amazing lively sponsors of mine, thank you so much always.

Let's go to the topic shall we?

My toxic side of mine or what they called a red flag:

Owning my complications

This really hit so hard that I really admit that even when I tell in my articles that it's really good to share your troubles to someone you are comfortable with, can't hide the fact that I really don't share stuffs like that, I don't want to be a burden also I don't want people to look at me with theire pity full stares, hate it, so instead of telling them I rather take it all in all for myself and by doing that I just made a core monster inside me.

Anger issues

That's really me, couldn't hide it and truthfully until now, I'm still trying to control and aboiding this one, I maybe softy when showing people outside but deep inside I had a range of anger that so shirt and really when I get to the point that it exceeds to the limit, I will become upset and anger will envelope me because of something or someone that triggers them, also I'm not a forgivable person, even if we talk after a fight, in my mind you are still the reason why my blood boils, and yeah I will not befriended people like those.

Giving false sign

My bestfriend tells me that I'm a walking red flag, and if someone would have the gutts to try and be my own flagpole, she would be proud to that person but really she says that I'm such an ass for being like that, I laugh when I remember our scenario haha gosh she tells me to stop giving people signals or hint that they would probably mistook haha gosh I will not tell some details about this because my bestfriend would probably the one who knows my craziness that people think would be my innocents.

Shutting people off

I'm still doing this even now, but yeah I think I should reallly include this to my toxic traits, I will shut off people when I have a lots in my conflicted mine, even people who's close and so dear to me is not an exemption, it's hard to please people so must just shut them off when I'm in the midst of trouble, I will heal through my own pain.

Masochistic

I love pains nothing more to explain.

Apathetic behavior

Honestly this is one of the most hardest red flag of mine, having care with others is not really my forte, but as for now I think bit by bit I'm alreading in healing phase from this behavior of mine, I started caring about what others feel andeveruthing around me, but I wouldn't lie that sometimes there's this bit of it that still showing up depends on the situation and also in my mood.

Gas lighting

This is my defense mechanism as always when meeting up with people, will lie my actions I don't want to be understands and read by people, I'm a bipolar when they say, one day we're good but the next day I will act like you never exist from my life, also people I've met and have a mutual understanding with or what they labeled as MU will probably know this haha, they say I'm hard to read and I'm confusing there feelings for me, one day I'm sweet as a candy but the next day will ignored them.

Okay enough with this I still have a numerous to tell but it would probably took a longer explanation haha gosh but anyways the reason I made this one is I want people to reflect on their behaviors.

This toxic traits will be nurture if we let them envelope us, but as far as I know we can really change this traits for our own bemefits and growth, staying from toxicity will just hinder us, we people learn and grown, we ned to change for the better. Of course sometimes we really feel tough when we show our toxic self in front of others but the truth is, It's not pleasing to see so we must control this, change this and be the best version of ourselves.

Lead Image source:

https://www.biospace.com/article/red-flags-and-green-lights-how-employers-view-you/

Image source:

https://www.pinterest.ru/pin/374432156506856655/

https://www.thehealthy.com/mental-health/anger-management/

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/608830443357007229/

https://www.aestheticpic.com/2021/05/58-photography-lonely-aesthetic-pictures.html

https://unsplash.com/s/photos/alone-girl

That's it for now as you can see I'm not really active here though I'm in the midst of something but guess what still want to makes some article and post it here hehez it's our last examination for this sem today so I'm really looking forward to my two weeks semstral break gosh. By the way that's it for todays article thank you so much, stay safe and keep yourself hydrated, enjoy your day.