Ignoring Phased

While scrolling to my feed on twitter, I saw some tweet that really relates me when I'm not having a good mood.

This hahaha, I mean it's not that I'm mad or angry to you, once I ignored you don't think that you did something wrong, of course people will feel and think that way when someone's ignoring them, but I don't know because I know this one of my toxic behavior I ignored people I shut them out when I don't really have the mood to even just have a small talk or say hi or even respon to people.

If I did this there's the guilt after me hahaha. I mean I know that I did that for my own sake and I don't denied the fact that it's wrong on some angle but what can I do, ignoring is one of my ways on having time to complete my thoughts, to fix myself, to relaxed and ease my mind for a while.

This is good in some but in the same time not, you can offend people by acting this way,

"but it's there problem anyways" my inner demons says hahaha.

Ignoring everyone is my defense mechanism.

Sometimes humans aren't always capable of being alive. There are days that we really don't feel to live we just exist.

So we have different ways how to cope up with that. And this is one of my toxic way because it's the easy thing to run to my problems and to not explain to everyone.

I know having someone to tell all your worries is great but sometimes ymwe just need to be with ourself and ignore everything and everyone. I know ignoring is a disheartening feeling, but yeah some people might understand but some people won't.

That's why I'm always and forever be grateful to anyone who stays with me even I have this kind of toxicity just to cope up with my thoughts that makes me stay awake in the night.

But always remember this is just my way and it's toxic I know and admitted it, but I really can't let go of this behavior it's in my nature to ignore people when I'm not in a good mood. I'm afraid my mood will get worst and let it all on someone and that's more chaotic and I don't want that to happen so yeah.

Anyways just having this thought because of that tweet hahaha so yeah have a good night sleep everyone, pray and stay safe. I just got home from our relatives. I should take a rest now. Be back again tomorrow. Sleep well everyone!...