A lot of people try to find love somewhere hoping that it will become a dream come true. Most people try to find love from friends of friends, relatives of your friends, exes of your friends or from people you pass by, someone you met on a bar, etc. Let's call it blind dating or just simply dating.
I am going to share a little bit about how I found the love of my life. To be honest, it wasn't as interesting as you thought it would be but everything that I knew about love changed when I met him. Everything that I believed about relationships and love suddenly changed.
I was about to say 'I haven't experienced blind dating' like I still need to experience that HAHAHAHA. I didn't experience to go on blind dates. I didn't know how will I do it, I don't have the confidence and I don't how it will end up so I didn't even try.
By the way, I am not a love expert. I just got married this year but I am just going to share some experiences on my past relationships and dating. (ganda ka gorl?!?!)
This is based on my own experience. (Malalaman na ng mga kapatid ko kung pano kami ng kakilala ng asawa ko HAHAHAHHA!)
Just to give you an idea.....
When I was younger, my concept of love is just dating, falling in love, marriage and happy ever after. I thought 'if I will be in a relationship, I want it to start from friendship. I want it to be with someone I already knew for at least some time'. That way, we can go ahead and skip the 'getting to know each other' part. I believed that romantic relationships should always start from friendships for it to last. Maybe that's the reason I didn't entertain guys that I'm not friends with.
I had my first boyfriend when I was in college. He is one of the people who I became friends with. It only lasted for 2mos, puppy love, first love, yeah I know. He cheated, that's why we broke up.
2nd boyfriend, was also one of my classmates in college. I didn't knew him very well, but we had time as his group of friends jives with ours. He cheated on me with my bestfriend, I forgave him in and love faded. It lasted for 8mos.
Same goes with the 3rd boyfriend, started as a secret relationship. Sh*t goes on and the relationship lasted for almost 5 years.
The fourth one was a reconciliation with one of my classmates when I was in grade school. It was an unexpected, we got a long. I got to know him more but along the way problems arrived, issues weren't solved. It lasted for almost 4 years.
See the trend? Now let's go back to the main topic.
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After my 4th relationship, I thought I need some changes. I wasn't in a relationship for months trying to find myself, trying to find some meaning into my life and trying to fix issues about myself. I was even hesitant to look for love, to talk to other people.
I got so bored and took the risk, again. Yes, again. I did register so some dating apps before, was able to talk to some strangers but I wasn't so interested on how the conversation went. So I stopped.
Now let's go to swiping left and right. The modern day dating.
How dating app works?
Simply register and set your preferences on the settings like, age, distance, gender etc. Once you've created your profile, the app randomly shows you other profiles based on your preferences. You just need to swipe left if you don't like the profile of the person shown, then swipe right if you are interested with the person.
You'll get a match if the person you swiped right, swiped right back. Now you can have a conversation.
One of my bestfriends used to join dating apps, different dating apps. She has Tinder, Bumble, Her and other apps I can't remember. She suggested I should go back to dating apps, just to check out other people. Whether I talk to someone or not, but for me just not to be bored. So I did, install again some dating apps that I used.
Just a reminder, I've never met anyone that I chatted in person. I don't have the confidence and I am scared of meet ups.
Here goes the list of some dating apps that I've tried.
Tinder
I started with the most famous dating app, Tinder. I was just checking it out at first out of boredom, then uninstalled because:
Most people there are just looking for hookups
A lot of kids are also in the platform
There are scammers and posers too.
Conversations are meh, nothing interesting
Tinder is one of the famous dating apps, but beware there are a lot of people who wishes to have a foreigner as a partner gets scammed. Yes, there are also scammers or posers in this platform. I did experience it first hand. Let me tell you about it, I did check my emails too. I almost forgot about it.
Here it goes...
I matched with a guy named Bernard Wilson Smith from California, USA. Here's a snippet of his introduction thru email.
He was my penpal thru email hahaha! He wanted us to talk through email not in the app. (tjat should've been the first red flag). But yeah, let's fast track it. After a month of email conversations. I already had a feeling that there's something fishy with this person told me that he will come in the PH so we can be together. (I wasn't able to find that thread, I think it was on my work email) And then, he said that he will be sending a package that contains some of his stuff (mostly gadgets and money). He instructed me to find a place to rent using the money that was in the package. As far as I can remember, the package contains iPhone, laptop, other expensive gadgets and money worth of 40k php. The sent the tracking details of course, but I wasn't familiar with the name of the courier. I was able to check the tracking details online with the link provided on the email. But there's still something about it. I researched for that courier and no details. Even the website seemed fake as it lacks other details especially in the contact us part. I did still give the benefit of the doubt, because I am such a person like that.
After a few days, I received a text that the package had arrived in customs and to release the package I have to pay for 10,000php. They stated the details how to settle it. That was the time that I knew that it was a scam. I just ignored all of it.
I have gained the skill of researching for people or something by only using its pictures which I can spend a whole day. His mistake was he did send a photo on our email thread. I started looking for him, and his real identity. I found out that his name wasn't Bernard Wilson Smith, his real name is Eric Angelo. A social media personality. I was able to get his email address on his social media page and told him about it. This is his response.
It was just sad that there are some people who takes advantage of other people. Especially the ones looking for love. Maybe because everyone wants a fairytale story, but we must be aware and do not trust any person right away.
This is a lesson too, but for me it was a month wasted that I thought I could meet someone new in my life.
OkCupid
photo grabbed from google
Just the same swipe left and right game. It was kind of funny because in this app, I saw a lot of people I know who were single that time. Hey, we do see online dating stories ending up together are cute. But this app wasn't appealing for me so I stopped.
Nearby
I'm sure about this one because I can't recall the name of the app. But I think this one operates the same, swipe left and right. The twist? You cannot see the person's picture, you have to talk to them, ask questions so you can reveal the picture. Basically, not relying on the persons physical features, more like a blind date.
I got bored on this app because I don't do the ice breaker kind of questions.
And lastly,
Bumble
photo grabbed from google
Same mechanics. Swipe left and right, but I find the people here more nice. Some will be honest upfront but not in an offending manner. I believe they have updated the app so we they can have another option like looking for friends, business etc.
I met my husband in this app. :)
STORY TIME!!
It was around October 019 when I started using Bumble. I got several matches, including my now husband, but the conversation didn't last. Either we find each other not as interesting as we thought. Honestly, most of them are decent but I got bored. I got bored that I don't want to talk to other people, more for people that I don't even know. I ended up uninstalling the app in November 2019.
Christmas passed, New Year came and I decided to re-install the app again. I started getting my matches Happy New Year. Some of them replied, my now husband replied too, then that is where it all started again.
We were both skeptical about online dating or looking for a relationship. Most people think that online dating is just for hook-ups. My now husband, wasn't the type that is so upfront but still wants to have a good conversation going on. We did have reservations at first but to my surprise, we've been constantly talking everyday. Both of us kept the conversation going, different topics lead to another topic to talk or discuss about. It's like two introverted people got a hold of each other hahaha!
Weeks passed by and we decided to meet up. He's going to Manila so he wanted to take a chance to see me. I'm scared to do that but I can't find the reason why I am so comfortable to him and I agreed. I wanted to be safe of course. My besfriend was always to the rescue.
My now husband and I, went on a date with my bestfriend. She didn't mind third-wheeling because she knows I'm scared of things like this and at the same time she wanted me to be safe. But for the most part, she's excited for me.
Fast forward...
The date went great. I got to know that his alcohol tolerance is lower than mine. That time I knew that he's not the 'kapag may alak, may balak' type of guy.
Months of dating passed and we became a couple, just before the lockdown happened in 2020. We've been a local LDR couple and now we are happily married with a Little Bumblebee. :)
It's okay to try new things. Be adventurous, be spontaneous, be weird, be natural. Don't blame yourself for not having someone in your life. You just haven't met them in the perfect timing.
Now, here are the next chapters..
Just when you thought it's over, it's not. It was just the beginning
Diko natry mga sites na yan, sis 😁