Being a dependent child to your parents will lead to hardship when it comes to creating your own family. This is what I experienced at first when I get married. Even, I am already 26 years old... I still rely on my Mom when it comes to cooking. I was used to waking up with breakfast on a table and a dish ready to consume. I was working online in the morning even before the wedding so I can't help with preparing breakfast. I have a mini office upstairs and I go there right after I woke up. When I got hungry, I just go down... Grab some plate, rice, noodles, egg, or anything that my Mom prepared. I'm not thinking of cooking my own as I have my Mom who cares for us all.
But now that I don't have it here in our house... I learned to change everything when it comes to dependency. I can't depend on my Mom to cook breakfast for me... I can't just relax at the time that I wanted to... coz a lot of house chores are waiting as a wife. It's so hard for me at first... 1 month, 2 months... And now we're at our 6 months. It lightens a little bit... And I'm kinda used of to being a wife. 😅
But what I observe before that woman in the house or wives are the ones who always do things in the home. They are the one who has responsibilities of cooking, washing dishes, maintaining the cleanliness, laundry, etc. While men or husbands just stay in one corner, relaxing... Waiting for the food to serve, not even thinking how to help, or to lessen the responsibilities that women have. That was my Dad... He kinda like that. He used to do some paper works even though it's not that important, sleep, or even do something but not cooking. He cooked once when Mom was not home, but that's so rare. Once in a blue moon, the other says. 🤭
He even doesn't help my Mom with the laundry. In short, all of the house chores are on my Mom's shoulder. That's what I observed before. Even when going to the market, buying foods and stuff... My Dad goes with my Mom but separating when she's already buying things. Going somewhere, staying somewhere, not even helping to fetch things... Then when my Mom finished her tasks, he's there to get the things that were so heavy and you don't think a woman can carry.
Oh noh, I think I just see the negative things on my Dad. Well, that's just my sample of how men treat his wife nowadays. I'm not stating this in general as husbands are not the same. This is just a mere fact of family problems.
Now... How about my hubby? Is he the same? Certainly, he's not. And I don't want him to be one. He knows my Dad and he keeps telling me and comparing himself to him. He wants to copy how my Dad life appears. He wants to just relax and wait for me to finish my tasks as a wife. But that's a big NO, NO.
Good thing we discuss something at our Sunday meeting. As I remember, it talks about how men show racism to women. It focuses on how men mistreat women when it comes to house chores. But it varies on countries, cultures, and beliefs. In Europe, they said that women are inferior to men. Women are viewed as servants.
Also, in some places, if a husband helps his wife wash dishes or clean the home, his neighbors and relatives will question if he is a 'real man'. So, that's some reason why men avoid helping their wives when it comes to house chores.
It also stated in its conclusion that a good husband is concerned, not about making himself look good, but about making his wife feel good. So yeah. That's it. That's the reason why my husband helps me with house chores lately. 🤭
At first, it's kinda hard for me as I'm the only one taking responsibility in our house, but now that we're two... It's so light. Imagine that whenever I wash dishes, he helps me. Washing clothes, he helps me. Cooking? He's responsible for making breakfast while I'm doing lunch and dinner.
Can you imagine how helping others in her responsibilities can change the way she views life? At first, I can think marrying someone is not that enjoyable as you added obligations in your life. But now that we're helping each other in anything... I can say that it's not that hard. Just be considerate as always with each other. Be observant of his needs and wants. Of his begging and requests. When you both know how to help each other, you'll be happy eventually.
Source:
Daniel Romero on Unsplash
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