I want to just ignore that but I can't. Since I understand all the happenings in my surroundings, I also becomes aware that my family is not normal. Or it's better to say that my parents is not happy anymore. I mean since the beginning, I didn't see them to smile at each other. They only smile when they are talking to me but when they are the only ones, it seems that they are a big gap between them. I can feel their cold treatment toward each other. I wondering why they are like that? Am I at fault or it just their real attitude?
I asked my mom about that but she keeps silent. She just looked at me and give me a bitter smile. That smile give me an assurance that there is something wrong between them. She always said " I'm okay, we're okay". I hugged her because I can feel the heaviness inside of her. She doesn't know that I often see her crying at their room. I don't want to interfere on their problems because maybe it is a husband-wife arguments but I can't let that problems becomes the reason why we get apart.
Take a break. Maybe three of us need to take a deep breath. I actually want to asked my Dad about it but I'm afraid that he might also ignore my question. I have no choice but to keep in my curiosity and my pain. I can't deny that I also hurt when I saw them like that. I just wanted to help but how? Sleep. Maybe after I sleep, I gonna forget all of these things.
In the middle of my sleep, I heard a fight in the living room. I gradually open the doors to heard everything. I heard them shouting at each other.
" It's been a years, Edward. Why can't you forget that woman?" My mom bursting in crying.
" What you want me to do? I tried okay? I hardly tried to forget her but I can't". My Dad shout at my mom. So , did my Dad has an affair? I asked myself while continuing listen to them.
" I know that you don't want what happened to us. I have no choice, we both have no choice. But please for the sake of our daughter, please let's fix this relationship and start over again". My mom almost begging to my Dad. " I know that she is your first love but please love us even a bit".
" I love our daughter and she knows that. I made a decision before for her sake. I don't want her to grow up without a Dad that's why I'm still here besides you. But Elaine, please don't asked me to love you because I'm afraid that I can't give it to you". My Dad is also crying now. I can't hold this tears anymore. I wanted to locked myself to my room but I still choose to confronted them.
" So Dad,Mom , that's the reason why you never smile at each other?" I asked them then faced at my Dad. " Are you regretting choosing us over your first love? I'm sorry Dad if I becomes the hindrance on the love story that you want to part take in. I'm sorry Mom if I cause a trouble to you. If it's not because of me, maybe both of you still enjoying the life that you want to have". I was hurt not only for myself but also I much hurting for them. I can't blame my Dad because he still take responsibility even it's hard for him to stay. I respect him even more for doing that. I can't blame my mom too because I know that she only protects the family that she want to have. I know that she loves my father that much. The person that should to blame is me. I'm the reason behind all the pains and sufferings they've experiencing until now.
After that day, everything has change. That confrontation lead me to talked to my father.
" Dad , thank you very much for staying besides me but now, I want you to choose your happiness. I fully understand everything right now. That you only do this for me. I don't want to be selfish now so you can go to the woman you truly loves. Don't worry about Mom, I'll take care of her as much as how you take me". I sobbing right now then I hugged my Dad.
He left us but this time, I'm happy for him. My parents also talked about it and my mom also let go my Dad. She knows that Dad will never be happy with us because his heart is not belong to us. They still friends and promise that still keep in touch for my sake. I looked at my Mom, she's crying but I also feel that she was happy inside because she knows that she do the right decision. I come closer to her while saying " Don't worry mom, I will never be leave you. I love you".
Three years had passed and I can say that me and my Mom is happy now. There's still a time that we missed moment with Dad but we also know that he is happy now. Actually, he wa sat London and he marry the love of his love. We're happy for him. We are not physically complete but I much contented right now. Those burdens and heaviness inside of us is eventually remove. I hope that my Mom is also feeling that. She is so strong and brave woman. Now, I promise to myself that I will do everything to protect and give all the love that she deserves. She doesn't need a man to feel loved because I know that I'm enough to give that. It's not a typical story of family but I know that my story is still have a happy ending.
Closing Thoughts
Sometimes the hardest decision can be the right action that we can ever made. We only tend to protect and staying on the things that we know that can be good to us. But sometimes letting go is the best way to continue your life with happiness. It's okay to be selfless than seeing your love ones suffering because of you. Choose the best decision that you've can think.
this is the key to wisdom when one sees a situation full of problems the way that is often taken is the median, making decisions for mutual happiness. it's hard to let go but being wise is the key to supporting others.