Level 22 of breathing and being Alive!
Life had been so cruel to me. From pain to emotional torture that I need to endure every 29th of August. It's not easy but at least now, I'm going to move on from the past. Not fully but I gradually accept and learn to celebrate this day somehow. I start this day visiting some cemeteries because today is the death anniversary of my Auntie and 2 bestfriend. Unlike before, I promise to myself that I will not cry the whole day and try to be happy even though there's still a part of me missing them. I also go to church to put a candle there and to pray for this special day. I hope that no bad things happen this day because I want to be a start of everything.
Today is my birthday and I don't usually celebrate it. My family prepares a lot of foods when I came back home. It seems a surprise one. The ice cream and Shanghai caught my attention so I eat a little bit hihi. Of course, I don't want to be bitter so I smiled and talk to them for an hour. Then after that, I go to room to lay down because I am not comfortable celebrating this day. I know some of you already know the reason why because I share it here before. But now, I want to appreciate myself. I know that at some instance I became so hard to myself. I always blame myself to all of the bad happenings happened in the past. I even labeled myself as unlucky during this day. I want to have a little change, to appreciate myself. 22 years, I could never imagine that I came this far. Who have thought that this little girl was given a chance to live and feel the love of the world. Life is not easy and it will never be but as long as I have the greatest from my family and friends, I know that I can overcome all the pain and heartaches I've encountered.
Dear Self,
I know that it's been a decade the last time I gree you a " Happy Birthday" because you still drowning on the past. Today, I want you to be free from that. I want you to feel that you are lucky and blessed to achieve this milestone. Thank you for being stronger day by day. Thank you for not giving up on this game called life. Another milestone so I hope that you achieve another set of achievements in the next years. But always remind your heart to always humble yourself even in the darkest or brightest of your life. If you could, choose to be happy. Self, just a little more push to your goals. Since now, I tried to acknowledge all your little efforts and progress. I believe in you self so go on. Happy birthday again and please don't cry as this day ends.
My wish is only simple, I just hoping for a better and healthier body this year. I'm also hoping for everyone happiness and peace of mind. May those who supports me never stop believing on me. And of course ,I would not forget to say Thank you to God because He allows me to stepped on this level of life. All of this was because of Him.
Appreciation!!
Thank you dreamers to all of your support to me since the beginning. To my sponsors, commenters and readers, thank you for all the love and support. You are one of the biggest part of my journey here. Thank you so much and have a great night ahead!
Happy birthday bhe, hmmm it's not really easy to let go of the pass specially if it's really painful. I don't know why it happened though probably because you could be a big help for them in praying so they could find their way home to God's kingdom. Believe me that it was destined to happened in your big day for somebody to pray for their souls and won't be forgotten. Not to bring nor give you constant pain but to help them as your bff to find their way. As i believed that only through prayers that they could be peaceful and redeem of by their mistakes. I also lost my bff during highschool coz of the same reason.Not on my birthday though but she was not forgotten and will never be.