I'm Fine. Everything is Fine

Since the new year begins, I feel like my body becomes so weak . I belong to those who had experienced cough and fever. I know that some of you already know my condition on the past week because I always update you about myself. I thought that I'll gonna be okay after taking some medicine but I'm wrong because it becomes worst. As day passes by, I became so weak than before. I couldn't move my body even in just an inch in my bed. I don't know why it happens to me but trust me, that moment I started to cry.

Paranoid. Obviously, I becomes so paranoid about my condition. There is so many what ifs in my mind. On the situation we have today, I can't help myself but to overthink. I'm not only worried about myself but most especially about my two young nephews and about my grandmother. I asked myself, What if I have a virus that time? They are also vulnerable too so I can't be. My auntie just comfort me and said that don't worry too much because I didn't go outside. But there's still a but. Yes, I didn't go outside but some of my relatives in the house always go outside as they go to their work. In fact, they also experiencing fever and cough. A symptoms of it. That's why I'm getting so paranoid.

I make up myself and pretend that I'm okay because I don't want them to worry too because of me. But my sister noticed that I becomes so pale and my fever is still so high. She asked me if I want to go to the clinic but I refuse.I refuse not because I don't want too but I realize that it becomes a hassle for both of us. The clinic here didn't accept someone who have a cough and fever because according to them it's a symptoms mad hospital should take care of it. If you want to do check up, you really need to go to hospital. That's why I refuse because I don't want to go to the hospital. That place is too prone to virus and I don't want to sacrifice my family's health because of that. So, I have no choice but to stay here inside our house.

I choose to isolate myself since I've experiencing it. I just want to make sure that I will not passed my cough and fever to them. They still taking care of me, giving me foods mostly soup and vegetables. I do whatever they said. They said that I should drink calamansi juice for my cough, so I drink. Some friends also advise me to gargle with lukewarm water with salt , so I did it. After 3 days, I feel a bit okay and my fever was finally gone.

I thought it would be the end of that sickness mode of mine. But after that, my head suddenly aching. It seems that my head wants to broke itself. My sight becomes blurry and I almost collapse yesterday. Good thing that my cousin immediately catch me since she was in my back. This feeling is not new to me, I know that it is the same feeling that I've experiencing when I was being an anemic. I feel like my whole body was being poured by cold water. I feel like that I want to vomit. When I gradually became okay, I asked my Auntie to checked my BP. She was surprised that my BP is 70/60. I'm not good about this thing but based on her reactions, it is not good. She immediately bring me to the bed and force me to sleep. She said that I should sleep throughout the whole day. So, yesterday I rest myself.

As an anemic person, dizziness and headache is very common to me. I look so pale everytime and fainted sometimes. This is so usual to my mother's family because they also experiencing always. Even my sister sometimes experience it . This is one of the inheritance that I don't want to receive from my Mom but unfortunately she gives it to me hahaha.

I'm a naughty kid you know because I didn't drink my medicine before. I don't feel like drinking medicine because the taste of it is not good. When I was a kid, I keep hiding my meds under my pillows so my Mom scolded me when she found out. I know that it's so bad so don't do it. I'd rather to eat leafy vegetables and fruits than drinking meds. I realize that I should start eating foods that can helps me to be alright. Most of the time now, my Auntie prepares veggies and other foods that can helps me to stabilize my BP. I also start avoid sleeping so late because I honestly don't want to experience this again.

Closing Remarks

Now, I'm doing good and I can say that I'm fine than yesterday. My BP is now 90/60 which is good according to my auntie. I also planned to visit my Doctor but not now since the COVID cases is still increasing. Thanks God that it is not the one that I've expected. I continue treating and stabilizing myself. I also make some light exercises. I'll take care and gonna be fine since now ☺️🤗