@Maryam07 27 August 2020 more from that month

Shadow of Myself

Hi, So, I'm here trying to write something as a preamble but I'm blank. My thoughts are playing ten ten with me . I can't seem to get a hold. I can't even decide on a reasonable title. Don't ask. Anyway, this is only a story. Do read and tell me what you make of it It began with a smile. Me sitting on a high bar stool at Flemings Grill, she standing at the door, looking directly at me. One smile, that was all it took, and when she walked over and casually asked, “*Are you here in business or pleasure*,” I was tongue-tied. I never objected when she loosened my ponytail and released my hair around my shoulders, neither did I say a word when she signaled then whispered something to the bartender, who walked over and added some booze inside my  half-finished glass of wine.  I was lost. I couldn’t tear my gaze away from her face. The pink lips were full and slightly upturned on both sides. But it was the eyes that held me spellbound – that deep sea between blue and green. I was smitten. That was the word I would use when I woke the next morning with her lying next to me, her right arm draped over my breasts, her breath coming in short whispers on my shoulder; smitten. We were happy. I went to work everyday, walked into the house when I returned and there she was, in bed where I left her, that smile on her lips. I looked into the mirror every morning, with her standing closely behind me, watching me intensely But something happened. I didn’t know what it was. The smile went away first, followed by the fire in her eyes. Then one morning, I woke with broken lips and dark bruises around my eyes, same with the day after. I never asked questions, rather, I began to refrigerate spoons. The look in the mirror became an inspection. On hand over my eyes, my mouth slightly open, I studied the face that used to be mine. She never left my side, even after the doctors said I had a problem and gave it a name. They said there was no one else but only me, before they threw me inside a room with nothing but a mattress, to keep me from hurting myself, to save me from myself. I didn’t remember any of it. This was my life now.