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Get Out of the Comparison Trap

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Written by   100
1 month ago

They say that Instagram is a breeding place for envy and self-pity. Who would not be impressed with pictures of amazing travel destinations, mouthwatering food, admirable body shapes, and the lifestyle of carefree people? As for me, Instagram exposes me to creative people who can take splendid photos - a skill I've always wanted to learn. Instagram is a place for beauty and aesthetics. 

Photo Credits: Unsplash.com

But then there's LinkedIn. A social media filled with professionals with multiple degrees, some with PhDs, numerous accomplishments, people who handle managerial positions, and several startups. LinkedIn people seem to have unlocked the secret of climbing the ladder of success. If only I can tap on their secrets...

The comparison trap is a dangerous place to find yourself in. But sometimes, we drag ourselves into it without us knowing. It is a quicksand, and unless we get out of it, we'll end up miserable. Here are some tips to consider. 

Shift your focus

When you're tempted to check what the others have on their plates, you can adjust your focus to something that will benefit you more. Remind yourself that you have a choice to look away. Don't feed yourself with envy and self-pity by focusing on things that don't trigger you.

Monitor your progress instead

Your progress is a good place to start with if you want to shift your focus. Celebrate small wins by first measuring your growth. When you know you're competitive but you tend to drown yourself in self-pity when you feel like being left behind, compete with yourself instead. Exceed your previous goals. Consider your old self as a competitor. Keep on improving! Win against self-doubt and be a better version of yourself. 

It's all about highlight reels

We look at our friends' posts and we see them living the life we've always wanted. But the truth is those are just highlight reels. People tend to accentuate what's beautiful, what's fashionable, what's most likely to get the attention and get the most likes. But it is not the whole story. People hide the "behind the scenes" - the messy room, the unorganized closet, the ugly fights and cracks in relationships, the debts, sleepless nights, wounds, and scars. People tend to flaunt the beautiful and disregarding the horrible. So the next time you feel overwhelmed with envy, remind yourself that most likely it is not the whole picture. 

Embrace your uniqueness

Someone has said that if we keep on imitating others, the best we can be is number two. If we want to stand out, we have to dare to be different. In our desire to compare with others, we imitate what they do, their lifestyle, their methods. We bury our uniqueness. It's an insult to our Creator and yourself. You are gifted with a talent, a skill, a wonderful idea - something that can impart a difference to the world, or someone's world. Don't let the comparison trap rob the world of the gift you alone can give.

Remember that success is relative

Some people who have made it to the top have testified that even at the pinnacle, it still seemed empty. On the contrary, some people are happy and content with their simple, frugal life. Success is not a one-sized hole that we have to squeeze ourselves into. It is relative - dependent on our mindset and our values. So before chasing someone else's success, ask yourself if it resonates with your definition of success. Otherwise, you'll end up wasting energy on a pointless pursuit. 

Comparison breeds defeat when it is mishandled. But when viewed positively, it can bring positive results! Comparison can be a motivation to do good and be good. However, when comparison leaves you trapped in a rut of self-pity, envy, and various negative emotions, don't wallow on it. Decide to get out of the trap immediately!


Hi, I am Marts! Aside from read.cash, I also run my blog - martsvalenzuela.com. I plan on growing my readership while learning to improve my craft and journey towards my passion to write and publish books that add value to people.

Carpe Diem!

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Written by   100
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Comments

This is true, somehow I avoid socials because some people were just posting their highlights, not the whole story, yet ended up getting judged. If not for my family, I would have deleted my fb account ages ago because it's becoming a channel for negativity and toxicity through comments without them realizing. Comparison is always there in our society but our faith directs us to proper mindset and cleansing.

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1 month ago

Absolutely! The best person you should compete and compare with is yourself. You are your own motivator. If you reached your goal you know that you can do it again or even better you can even outperform yourself.

Social media is like a nice holiday destination, where you see the blue skies and the crystal clear sea with nice hotel resorts including outdoor pools and bars.

What they don't show you is local people with their everyday lives. You would not go there based on that. That's what happening on social media. Showing their best moments of their days.

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1 month ago

What a clever illustration! :)

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1 month ago

indeed, comparison is not all negative.. it has positive sides too...

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1 month ago

It is like a double-edged sword. We should know how to best handle it :)

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1 month ago

should know how to best handl

thanks!

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1 month ago

That's the bane of social media and what we have to guard against.

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1 month ago

We have to remember that not all things in social media are true, more so beneficial for us.

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1 month ago