I am a person who wants to be in control of situations. I want perfection. But I haven't always been that way. I say that I have lived 2 lives. In my first life, I let others control me.
And I was fine in that condition. I felt safe.
I had an employee job where someone else made decisions for me. I just had to execute. I had a partner who decided everything and I let him. I trusted him.
The years have passed and I have changed. My life has changed. That job is gone and neither is that partner.
I found myself on my own and had to start over. It was hard but now I can say I made it.
In the years that I have been on my own, I have learned to take care of myself, I have learned to make decisions, I have learned to handle all situations.
It's been a hard test for me!
I am proud that I have been so strong.
A character side came out that surprised me a little bit. I want to be in control of everything. And that's both in my personal life and in my work.
It's hard for me. I struggle with this aspect.
I have to focus and think about this trait of mine.
I used to get very angry when I was not in control. I would get mad at myself but I would take it out on others.
I wouldn't let my partner make dinner because I wanted to be the one to do it. Why? Because I didn't trust what he was doing! But he cooks so well!
But I would stop him, I would do it and then I would blame him for never helping me! Absurd, isn't it?
I worked so hard on this aspect of my character and I still do, every day.
When I realize I am going to block someone, I stop and take a step back.
My partner offers to make dinner? Great!!! I thank him, pour a glass of wine and relax while waiting for dinner.We have to learn to let go.
We can't control everything.
We can't control what people say or do.
We can't be everywhere.
Perfection is not having everything under control.
Take a deep breath.
We just have to care about our "here and now".
We must LEARN to trust others, we must learn to delegate, we must learn to enjoy the good part of things.
Let others speak, let others act in their dimension.
That is perfection.