just because...

Just because I am tired, doesn't mean I quit.

We are not superhuman and we will never be. No matter how hard we pretend that we can do everything alone, there will be a time that we need someone's help for us not to feel lonesome. We are humans and so we are created to have feelings and those feelings are meant for us to show. When we feel happy, we smile, we laugh and we share the happiness to others. When we feel bad, we are sad and sometimes we cry and it's fine because feeling the pain means we are still living. We may complain about how hard life is but we are not quitting it. Just because we complain, doesn't mean we are over it. I am pretty sure you've complained about something but then you keep on doing it. Like complaining about a low compensation in the company you are working with but still you are there celebrating your one year of stay. Another one is when someone complain about her husband getting drunk everyday but still she takes care of him whenever he comes home drunk dead. For students, they are also complaining about the mountains of module given to them but at the end of the day, they will still do it anyway. Lol.

See these are just few of the instances that we encounter everyday. We get sad, upset and broke but we will never quit in life.

In my case, I can really say that I am exhausted. I never thought taking care of a baby would be this hard and energy consuming. I think of it as a piece of cake since I saw many moms I know on Facebook that are happy and they don't look tired at all but the truth is, they are. They just learned how to deal with the challenges and they want to let the world to see that being a mom is fulfilling.

My baby is turning one month old this November 19. Wow, it feels like it was just yesterday that I gave birth. During those days after I gave birth including today, I can't remember a day that I didn't cry. I don't know how to take care of a baby so how can I do everything? But, I really do believe in mother's instincts. Slowly, I learned how to get my baby from her bed and carry her. I even learned how to make her burp which was really a struggle to me before. I also learned how to change her clothes and diapers. Lastly, I learned how to calm her when she's crying hard. See I didn't imagine that I can learn these things knowing that I am not really fond of kids. But now, my love for children has sprout like a mushroom. I even forgot my dogs when I already have my baby.

When I am nursing my baby especially during night time, I felt so tired because my energy was drained already during the day. I sometimes cry whenever my baby doesn't want to sleep again after I breastfeed her. I did make her burp and carry her while slowly swaying but still, her eyes are wide open when it was already 2 AM. Because of that, I sometimes got angry and even got mad at my baby which made me complain about my fate. I thought about my happy memories when I was still not pregnant. I missed them. I miss being free and I miss working. Little did I know that I am slowly crying and I just noticed it when my tear fell to my baby's skin. I was and I am really tired but I am not giving up. Just one smile from my little baby takes away the stress and sadness in me.

I may get upset and mad everyday but I am proud to say that I will still not quit just because I am tired.

Do you also get frustrated about life? How do you deal with it, mamshies?

Thank you fam for supporting me. I may not be able to respond immediately but I promise I'll make it up when I have the time. Thanks to my sponsors and to those people who upvote my posts. You guys are big help.

Thank you sir, @TengoLoTodo for the sponsorship renewal. ☺️ I am truly honored.

Ciao! ❤️