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Despite the hurt and anger, everything will get back to normal with just one touch. And I admit, I was moved by that single touch. My mind has been telling my heart not to give in with the feeling. I am mad and I should remain as it is as long as I want and as long as I don't see any change in behavior. I wasn't expecting a sorry because I hate hearing apologies. I would rather appreciate changed behavior without hearing a sorry. It's much better. Actions over words.
But then my heart can't afford seeing someone talk to me without talking to them back. I just realized that I can't ignore someone I know who cares. Because of over thinking I disregard their true intention which is only for my own good. I created boundaries that wasn't supposed to be built in the first place. And that made the people around me change direction instead of going towards me.
Sometimes we feel like we are alone but the truth is, it's just us who think that way. Yes, they are right. To rest is all we need. Breath and let go of the thoughts that slowly killing your peace. If you feel like the people around don't favor you, learn the act of not giving care. If the people you are with seem to disagree with what you believe, just don't argue and let them think what they want. Stand on what you firmly believe. You, or some of us not being liked by everyone is normal. We cannot please everyone by showing them how good we are.
This is why I choose not to consider everything my problem and not everything has something to do about me.
Today, I am also delighted because my recent article got positive feedbacks and the comments there are all uplifting. I never knew that I will meet friends here who are willing to help and empathize with me. Read.cash has been a blessing for me, and for everyone. Earning is such a big help but gaining friends is beyond blessing. That's why I gain my motivation back and stay optimistic at life.
This afternoon, it rained as well making my soul renewed. My anger and frustration were washed away by the rain as it poured. I found goodness in everything. I thank the rain for giving me peace of mind.
After the rain, my boyfriend asked me out. I don't know why or where we're going but he forced me to get dressed. I also felt guilt because I haven't talked to him since yesterday. He did all his best so everything between us would go back to normal but I refused to reconcile. I thought he already lose his temper that's why he's not also talking. But this afternoon, he talked to me. My heart softened as he looked at me so I just get dressed and go with him. He brought me to the restaurant and ordered food I like to eat. He even ordered cupcakes for me. I don't know but seeing those food makes my anger go away.
Perhaps I was just being paranoid these days because I crave for something and I haven't realized that. I did not notice that I was smiling and talking to him gladly while I am eating.
I never knew that food will make it better.
I never knew that food will make me better.
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.