Back to Zero

I lose my will to post an article today. I am currently in a bad mood because the article that I wrote has been deleted. I feel like I am about to cry because I spent an hour typing it while I was feeding Clea. I did not sleep this afternoon just to write an article so we can upload it immediately when we go to the next town where there's an internet connection. It's just a small thing but I feel like I lose something big. Maybe because I wrote it with all my heart. It was supposed to be something about my childhood memories and how I cope with bullying. I felt really sad today about what happened because we already traveled and I haven't posted anything. I tried to write again but my mood changed and I lose my motivation. Maybe I can't accept it too because I lose my article because of my carelessness. I was about to copy from my notes the article that I wrote. I highlighted everything and instead of tapping the "copy" button, I tapped the "cut" and I can't retrieve everything because it hasn't been copied. How careless I was. Now I learned that I need to be extra careful when it comes to clicking something in my phone because I might not be able to bring it back.

Just like when I deleted some photos and I deleted what shouldn't be deleted. And because I turn off my recently deleted album, I cannot retrieve what I have lost. Now I regret everything. Truly, we cannot have what we lost. This is to teach us to be careful in everything we do. Life is just like something you save in your computer. In just one click, everything can change without you knowing and if you know it, you cannot have it back.

What made my experience worst today is that it rained hard when we reached the next town. We didn't find a place to stand-by with so we decided to just go home. The rain poured hard when we went home and I was soaking wet. I was really pissed but I don't know to whom I should let this anger out because the problem is in me. What's even worse is when we got home, the rain has stopped. Oh my! I just took a deep breath and remained calm as I look at my daughter. I left her to my sister and she told me she coughed and sneezed. Another problem! I don't know where did she got that I mean no one has a cough at home. Glad that we have medicine for cough here at home. Dear God, not now please. Please don't give my daughter illness.

I was also thinking of not posting anything today but I am hesitant to do it. It will be a big loss if I won't earn something. I am still wet for I haven't changed clothes but I still decided to write again before I take a bath even if I don't want too. My grandma told me to take a bath because it's not good for breastfeeding moms being soak with the rain. Is it true? I asked her where did she get that information but she just told me that's what THEY said. Now who are those THEY? Is it another myth? Maybe I should ask my daughter's pedia about it.

I felt my head aching too. Is it because of the rain or maybe because of my carelessness. Ughhh! I really can't move on from what happened. I wanted to share that article to you all but I can't. As much as I try to write it again, I know my thoughts and how I wrote it will never be the same because my heart is mad. How should I let this frustrations out? I can't be mad for long because my daughter can feel it and she might get sad and affected as well.

Sorry for my rants. Cheer me up, guys. I'm really sad. I want to be motivated again. I feel so tired thinking that we need to travel again so I can upload this. Clea is also crying and I think she's hungry. I need to change her clothes too because it has gotten cold in here. Gotta turn off my phone too because I need to save it's battery which is currently 13%.

Again, please be extra careful with what you click on your phone.