Are your children your investment?

And we traveled again just to have an internet connection. Yeah, so hassle but can we do rather than waiting for the internet connection to get back to normal? We can't just stay at home and do nothing especially that we have a baby and we should have enough savings. I guess this is what my grandma said before. That I should be successful in life first before entering the married life. Though I am not yet married, it is like I am because I and my boyfriend already had a baby and we live together in one home. But, what does it really mean when we say, 'successful'? What does it take to be called successful? Well, for me it's so subjective. I mean we have different meaning of success. What success to me is maybe just a pie for you and what is success to you is maybe not what I dreamed of. You know we have that kind of mindset that is very different to others.

For my grandma, her definition of success is when I and my sisters already had a stable job, a home, and be rich and we would just provide them with money a month. This is not bad because it's for our own good. What makes it bad is when she will question our decision in life just because ours are different from her. Just recently, we had an argument because of my pregnancy. I learned that my grandpa still had a bad feeling about me getting pregnant. According to him, it feels like he's getting back to zero again for he thought he will get rich because I am here, working. After hearing those, I felt annoyed because it feels like they are only making us their investment. I mean we are just like a piggy bank for them. I understand that we must look back to them and give back the favor but pressuring us, me to work and get rich just because it's their dream? It's a no no for me. I have my own path to take and my vision is beyond that thinking of being rich. It's wider than that.

But I don't want to sound disrespectful so I just pretend that I didn't knew though I am bit pissed when my grandpa gets close with Clea. How can he be that hypocrite? I am sorry for this. The wound is new and I am hurting for real. What can heal me is to distance myself again from them. Right now, we are doubling our time to hassle, or where can we earn money so we can live by our own just the three of us - me, Clea and her dad. After all, I never really dreamed of living with my parents or with my in-laws in the same roof. So I guess it's time for us to separate, to be independent and for these wounds to heal. I don't want to live in a home where I feel like having a baby means that I will not succeed in life anymore. Come on!, It's still the same me. Nanganak lang ako!

I promise to myself that I will not let Clea feel that we are her obligation when she grows up. I will not let her feel that to be successful means to get rich. I know she will create her own life and I am here to guide her in achieving her dreams. I am with her when she's working for her dreams. I am not the one creating dreams for her.

Are we on the same side?

Thank you fam for supporting me. I may not be able to respond immediately but I promise I'll make it up when I have the time. Thanks to my sponsors and to those people who upvote my posts. You guys are big help.

Ciao! ❤️