When no one knows your Pain

Hi readcash community, it's nice to be back! I've been in a rough times this past 3 months, and one of the major reasons that I can't write something here. But, yeah, I'm back. Thanks in advance for all of your support.

A healthy mind, body and soul makes a life worth living, but what ifs one or two or all of these aspects are struggling that caused your life miserable.

I just wanted to share my experiences these past three months.

A Healthy Mind. What you think will affect your action. Of course there's a domino effect when your mind is full of negativity. Something like you are participating a debate having an opponents of your own self. It's not easy when yourself is fighting for a big decision that you wants to do in your life. Other side of yourself may a brave one but the other side is so weak to win the fight. I wanted to be the best version of myself but HOW? That's really a big question. I am now old but struggling my career, doubtful if I can reached my dreams, too weak to fight cause I've been fighting for so many years and nothing happen. Sometimes no matter how strong we are, there are instances we feel so weak and tired.

A Healthy Body. How and when can we say that our body is healthy where in fact your struggling so much in your mind "overthinking". Are you completely healthy? Over the months of planning, thinking what's best for me really affects my body. When I feel so stress, I find comfort in food causing to gain weight which is bad because I was diagnosed with PCOS and my doctor told me to reduce weight to normalize the function of my internal organs specifically my ovary. It's not easy for me to control what food to eat and how nutritious I intake. I know we have different ways to ease our stress but is it normal that I have found comfort in food which caused irregular heartbeat. Sometimes I need to elevate my back from sleeping so that I may able to breathe like normal. I need to be observant of my sleeping position because most of the times it cause me pain and failure to breath in a few seconds, something like the oxygen is trapped somewhere else in my respiratory organs. I don't know how to identify, there's no way for me to distinguish which part of it.

Few weeks ago, I noticed that my hands will eventually swell and there's numbness inside of it. I hardly figure it out what's the main cause of it something like "Beriberi" in hands. Guys, I may tell you, you could no longer close your hands and not able to hold your phone. Your hands are useless for about 2 to 3 hours, right after it will back to normal. Then again in another 2 or 3 days have passed, you will feel the pain again. When I tried to open up my situation, no one will understand and empathize me because NO ONE KNOWS MY PAIN.

A Healthy Soul. Of all above mentioned, the only aspects that remains healthy is my SOUL. I know I have strong connection to God though I am not religious, I know myself I am Godly. No matter what happen in my life there is purpose of everything. I just put to God all my burdens in life, He knows what's best for me. I may not happy as of now because of this pain, in His arms I am safe. In His eyes, I live with a purpose not just purely exist with no reason.

I just want to leave a lesson before I end my drama that no matter what difficulties you are facing as of now, just believe that there is a divine glory awaits you. A divine mercy that heals you. A divine spirit which strengthen you. I hope all of you guys holds on with the power of our Saviour Jesus Christ, that no matter how painful it is, he will brings you joy and happiness eternally. Let's bring good news to our fellow writers and readers.

Love you all.