It's been a while, read.cash. It has been a month of no presence of Maestro here on this site. I've been through the phase of collecting myself so I have to take a rest from the thing I used to do every day—doing creative things.
I mentioned in my past articles that I am having anxiety whenever I was in a place that has many people. I feel a bit dizzy and my mind doesn't respond sometimes with the mood that my environment was giving. But, this happens not most of the time. I can still enjoy the moments of the occasions but it depends on the people I am with. I am glad that I met people that understand what I am going through.
My junior high school day was one of the biggest things why I am like this today—I was surrounded by the talented people of our school. I also mentioned in my past articles that I was graduated from the Arts Curriculum. Being there was a double-edged sword. It feels like I am always pretending to be with level since we perceive that we all have the talents and can do all the things creatively that academic activities have to challenge us. I know that we have an advantage over other curriculums in terms of doing posters, dancing, photography, singing, and writing essays because we were trained to enhance our talent. But little did I know, I wasn't doing my main job—to show what true talent and skills I have. I just noticed it all since I went to Senior High School.
I am grateful that I have this talent and be with one of the talented persons in our school but I will never have the same energy as them. They are all exposed to people and so do I but I couldn't do the same thing as they do. Since then, I confirmed to myself that I have no friends to be with so I learned to have myself. It wasn't certainly no friend but it feels like they couldn't do anything with my situation. I mentioned in my past articles that I have a best friend. We are best friends for about 10 years and still counting. We are both emotionally unstable but I may say that he is more of a fighter than me. But, we have had no conversations since I went to college. He didn't go to college for a reason. That reason is for himself. My respect goes high as I learned his reason. We haven't had any conversations aside from that.
Time was new now. It feels like I am battling with myself now. It feels like everything was new since the pandemic began. I may say that I somehow am a different person now. If I was the person that was always in the front of the class and used to lead before, I don't think I'm still that person.
I'm glad that I am surviving this pandemic. After all of the exhausting problems of both academic and personal life. I'm grateful beyond words that I met friends that have the same vibes as me. I used to be clingy with my friends before. Hugging them and having someone to lay my head on whenever I feel sleepy were one of the things I missed. I just feel so lonely after I graduated from senior high school because I know that we will get part ways with each other and will chase our dreams for our future. And, I know that I will be with the new faces in college. Well, this is life. We need to go forward because if we won't, we will get stuck at where we at right now.
I just want to highlight a person in this article. His name was JL. Hey, he is so genuine, caring, loving, and brother-like to me. He never fails to make me feel happy whenever I feel exhausted and attacked by my anxiety. Not to compare but among the persons, I met in my whole life, there was no like JL. This was the first time I met a person that has a pure and solid intention for anyone. He may be jolly and humorous most of the time but there was another side of JL I learned—his skill in caring for his friends. We just met 5 months ago but it feels like we knew each other since birth. It is such a dream for me to have a friend who gives back the energy like the energy I am giving. That feeling is one-in-a-million for a person like me.
He didn't know how much he helped me with my condition. That was the reason why I took a break from publishing articles and posting on noise.cash. Not only from those sites but also on doing masterpieces like drawing and writing my emotions. As of now, I am still in the phase of realizing things but just like what JL is doing, I will never get tired of giving back the energy and vibe other people are giving. With that being said, this is the introverted me in this peculiar world.
Thank you for reading this article!
You can read my previous articles here:
It's Been a While Since The Last Time I Touched a Paintbrush.
One Of The Challenging Weeks Of My Life As A Student.
An Open Letter For All Of The People Who Inspired Me To Be Who I Am Today.
Ahhh good thing you have JL i can sense that he really is a good man.