Standing At The Edge

August 22,2022 Monday

Have you ever felt like you are there, at the edge, that it seems you want to freely fall and something seems holding you back?

I am not feeling okay lately. Not because I am literally ill but something is bothering me.

I am going through some rough times but I never let it show. I live each day as if the usual day eventhough my heart is aching and my mind is storming inside. For once, again, I want to shut my world and breath in the middle of nowhere. I want to keep myself isolated and just breath without overthinking.

Then I felt something like I want to freely fall myself into the air. Like those bubbles that just sail above and vanish. So I remember a song I used to hear and I want to literally feel how it'd be standing on the edge of the earth. I do not want to post on social media and look more pitiful. I do not want to beg but I tried to reached some family and friends to help me out. Though all wasn't my way. For so long I have struggle some time but not same as today. Imagine, I and I mean we literally run out of cash. Our savings was used and we have nothing left on hand. Then our daily needs at home like rice and food to cook including my son's milk is almost empty. I have some money to expect but next month is still far. Unexpected expenses when all of us are sick consumes it all and left us nothing. Now, hubby and I have headaches on how to sort things out. Some people lend money but tends to push you more to hardship. Really, I am this desperate this time? I prayed and prayed and hope we will survive the coming days.

Sorry if I let it out here. It's just I cannot live the normal way now and want to break down and cry it all. For some times, they say I am strong but I am weaker than they never know.

📷Lead image is from Unsplash

Thank you for reading this far. It seems I saw Rusty in some articles already. So does it means he is back?