Been losing friends, and feeling ignored

Hello everyone, you guys still awake? Hmm I guess I can still have your attention at this time. You know writing blog at this midnight hour is quite good, you can focus on writing in everything in silence and peace. I found peace at midnights, no more crying baby, no more children shouting, no more footsteps, music, and any other noise that is usually made in the morning.

So as I lay here on my bed, this topic came into my mind, and I feel like I want to write something about this thing.

You know, your Elementary, secondary and tertiary friends are changing right? And some of our elementary friends are no longer with us, even at secondary, we had our closure but something is like changing. One of your friend will ignore you, one will step aside you, will leave your circle and will no longer connected to you.

Have you ever been is a circle of friend were you give your each other's Facebook password account, borrows your phone anytime, anywhere, buy you and give you things you love, cant walk without you, made your their happiness, set you on their phone lockscreen something like so close. A BFF they called. Best Friend Forever.

Way back on my elementary, I have my Bff's, we are five and we do things like I mentioned above. When pur grade level were up and our section is separated, it already had the gap. Something like awkward. The longer the time we separate the less talk and bonding we had. Unlike when we are still classmates, we sit in a one table, or next to each other.

As the years goes by and I graduated my grade 6 level, that circle were broken.

I even started to get jealous, have you? Because in a circle there will always be a favorite person of you, and you will also be one of their favorite, and I get jealous when I feel like I am not their favorite. It all started when I am in my secondary, I had here four friends also, all female. I noticed that they set lockscreen only their face not those photo that I am in. I just let them, I am always good and understanding. One day, I had my dysmenorrhea and this one friend asked to go with her at the canteen to buy snacks, I refused her offer and said ask those two because I cannot get myself to walk with her since I'm so much in pain. Sadly these two other lady were busy on thier phones and she the one who asked for a walk gets mad.

Sending message or Group message was so useful before, we are not yet too exposed with Facebook and any other online media's. Now we got e message saying, #fakefriends, #useless kinda upsetting word to us. That day started the awkwardness on our friendship. The fact that we get mad to each other was the main reason we forgot our friendship. Our relationship was all good, we had so many bondings and crazy memories, how sad the reality that these person were no longer connected and broken. So my high school group of friend is also broken.

Now that I am currently in my college level, I can really sy that I am losing and had been ignored with the people I treated as my friend. Now I never had them on my side, they never like or react on my Facebook status, they always do it before. Now they never tag me on their shared post status, never add me on their group chats and never been able to have bonding with them.

We used to have food trips, but now, I guess they do but without me.

Realizing that they are no longer want me to be with them made me question myself. What did I do wrong? Am I a bad person?

One day, I open my TikTok account and scroll. I saw this video of Alex Gonzaga saying, You will never get mature of you dont lose friend, now after hearing those words, I realize she was right, because I am still happy now without my treated bff's, and I am now more mature and my life still gets better without them. The saddest thing here is that you still want your friendship but it is hard to get back the trust and love to each othe.

It is painful to watch them happy with their new friends, it was painful and I am jealous. But now that I grew up and understand the Friendship life, I'm fine. I just have to support them with their happiness.

Now most of my friends are males, having a make friends is really cool. They don't talk so much , like making a single person a subject, no men are different and I can really differentiate that.

On my last article I showed to you my male friends, yeah they're my college friends now, and I am now living a happy life. I just realize that I need to love myself more before anything else, because in the end we always have ourselves nothing else.

Now those people were no longer connected with me, when we crossed our path it's like we never knew our each other's name. I'm afraid to say hi first, knowing that they will never wave me back. So i just let it go with the flow, if they sau hi, I will say hello, if they will ignore me then I will also ignore them.

Its like giving back the treatment they give on me. They get what they deserve and i get what i deserve. Because when it comes to friendship, I am really good. I am good to those who's good to me. And your actions really matter, if you do bad, I'll give it back to you, if you do good, I'll be good to you. Just like that.

And right now? I am just living, not anymore afraid of losing, not anymore when I am already contented with myself. I can still be happy without them, and I believe I can still have few but real friends. That enough and good for me.

Self love really is the best. Losing a friend is close to heartbreak, it is painful and sad. Just saying what I felt before. Am I wrong? And after that we also need to move on and accept that we are no longer the friend that they need.

Your friend today will never be your friend tomorrow and for the step of your life. Some are extra, some are for reason, for inspiration and some are just the seasoning of your life.

So I just accepted the fact that some will ignore me, just let it be, life must go on with or without them.

Life is everyday changing.

That will be all thank you! Have a great day!

SALAMAT ❤️