Finally, we are already living the year 2022-- January 2022 it is. What keeps you busy this month?

They say, the first month of the year is a fresh start for us. It is where we could feel a sense of hope as we are hopeful for the days that are about to come. It is where we have our New Year's resolution, and we already crafted another goal for us to do for the rest of the year.

Not to mention, January is about to end, so it's time for me to write my life currently. I haven't summarized how my month went, and this is the time that I'm going to reflect. I hope I have lived my days this month with so much fulfillment.

Now, here's my life currently for January:

Reading

I haven't read so many books or even articles lately as my eyes hurt that much. Just so you know, I just got my eyes checked by the eye doctor and I realized that my eye grade in both eyes is quite high. Needless to say, I decided to get my eyes checked as my eyes were hurting lately and I can't see clearly from afar. Although I feel sad about it since I need to wear glasses, I'm still hopeful that better days will come soon. Moreover, I have been so down lately due to my condition, but I'm trying the best as I can to surpass all the sadness that's roaming around my heart, and they will be covered with happiness and joy anew. Going back, even though I rarely read stuff these days, I remember one time that I have read a motivational book about hope and that book helped me heal the wound that I'm feeling inside my heart. I just hope that I will be able to get used to my glasses soon once it's done.

Writing

Same as reading, I haven't written anything significant these days. I'm too focused on my eye condition that's why I haven't written something important. I even have days when I can't write articles not because I don't want to, but because I can't think of anything as my mind is being preoccupied with a lot of stuff. But I'm still open for that time to come when my love for writing will be back. When ideas will flow freely in my head. It's just so hard to think of content to write these days as there are a lot of events happening in my life that I'm not in control of.

Listening

Currently listening to chill songs where I could vibe to. Songs that will calm the waves in my heart. Songs that will eventually give peace to my chaotic mind. Just so you know, I only want to live with a positive mind, but things will never go in our favor most of the time. So, what I can do is to accept the situation that I am in and calm my heart through the songs that I'm listening to. Not to mention, I listen so much from my heart lately, I wonder if it's helping or not hehe.

Thinking

Lately, I have been thinking of all the things that I have done before that led to what happened to me now. I have a lot of things going in with my life lately and the world seems a bit blurry. I suddenly miss the time when I was still young. Even though I don't have the best childhood, I'm still happy when I was young. I'm also thinking if I'm experiencing Quarter Life Crisis these days, or the feelings that I'm having lately are the result of my constantly changing moods due to my PCOS. Above all, I'm thinking of what's best to do to overcome this unpleasant feeling that I'm feeling.

Smelling

I'm currently loving the smell of menthol. Menthol helps a lot especially when I'm having headaches due to my eye problem. I love to rub the menthol around the side of my head and it helps a lot in relieving my headaches. I also love inhaling it as it could help calm my nerves as well especially when I'm under so much pressure. I don't know why, but I think I'm getting old these days that the scent of menthol excites me. I could feel that I'm aging that fast. I wonder what smells will I love as my journey continues.

Wishing

If there's one thing that I wish lately, it's the thought that I want to go back to the time when things are working normally in my body. The time when I still feel no pain around my wrists, the time when my eyes could still see clearly, and the time when I'm still healthy. I know it's impossible, but I want to go back to that time to change my bad habits. If only I could tweak my habits back then for me not to feel all the pains that I'm feeling now, then I would. But I cannot, so I'm only wishing for healing and for the safety of my family and loved ones against the virus that's roaming around the world.

Hoping

I hope that I could see things clearly like before. It may sound that I'm referring to my eyesight, but I'm referring more to the mindset that I have. Needless to say, I've been feeling so off lately, and I feel down and sad. But I'm trying day by day, to say positive, to say positive affirmations to myself the moment I wake up, and to disregard all the whispers of the enemy in my ears. Anyway, I also hope that green days will come and the BCH will pump and launch to the moon.

Wearing

I'm currently wearing a smile on my face. Even though I'm not completely happy, I'm trying to make myself as happy as I was before. I'm not pressuring myself, but I know I will get there. Anyway, I'm wearing a dress because I have no other clothes to wear. I need to wash my clothes because I've been busy lately and I have no time to wash them haha.

Loving

I'm loving the dark chocolate drink lately. Not to mention, I started this craze when my co-worker asked me if I will order a drink from her favorite shop. I noticed the dark chocolate drink and tried it. To my surprise, I love its overall taste. I can't help but fall in love with it that I drink it almost every day. Right now, I noticed that I gained weight. I think it's time for me to switch back to my water intake routine because I think I forgot to drink a lot of water these days already.

Wanting

I want to have peace of mind lately. I always wanted to attain that as my mind feels a bit chaotic these days. I don't want to hear any negativity around and I just want to listen to positive things that are going around the work. I also want to eat fries and ice cream. I'm craving them but I tend to forget to order this food every time. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to grab one.

Needing

If there's something that I need today, maybe it's motivation. I noticed that I'm not that motivated to do things lately. I realized that the motivation that I have before in anything that I do gradually dims. I need to bring back that motivation so I will look for ways to stay motivated and to live a fulfilling life.

Feeling

I may be feeling sad these days, but I can't deny the fact that I'm still feeling blessed that I am surrounded by great people in my life. I'm grateful for my family and friends who are with me in my journey. They are always there willing to support me and shower me with their love no matter how hard things get. I'm forever blessed to be surrounded by people who are good for my mental health. Aside from that, I'm feeling joyful as well for all of the people here and even in Noise.cash as all of you are supportive towards me. There may be times when I can't reciprocate your kindness and generosity, but I'm still grateful that you're still there showering me with all of your love and support. I'm also feeling grateful to God for everything that He has done in my life. I believe He has greater plans for me. I offer Him everything, even the battles that I have.

So, those are the things that are going on with my life currently for January. I may have started the year with a sad heart, but I know it will never stay this way for the next months to come. I'm still excited about the opportunities that are waiting ahead. I presume better days are coming so I am. just here working things out and waiting patiently for the time that the world will shine brighter again and the smile that I have will be as big as it is.