Did your parents raise you right?

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Avatar for Kushyzee
2 years ago

You might see the above question as something weird to ask, who will even admit that they weren't raised right by their parents? But you will be surprised when you discover some people admitting to this. Some parents are actually very irresponsible and don't take proper care of their children but somehow, some of those kids still grow up to be good and responsible adults.

I have witnessed two occurrences today that made me ask myself the question; "should the parents be blamed in this case?" I couldn't provide an answer for the first occurrence because I didn't know the whole story but for the second occurrence, I am holding the parents responsible, coz in this case, they are actually my parents! This might sound confusing, so let me explain.

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I was in my room earlier in the evening when I suddenly heard my mom yelling at someone and at first, I thought it was my second younger sister because she and mom tend to argue like two housewives most times 😆 but it turned out to be my 3rd sister; the last born. I came out and saw my mom and 2nd younger sis standing in front of the toilet and they were giving instructions to the last born to mop the toilet properly

My mom has been telling her to mop the toilet since morning coz she skipped it yesterday but she has been acting too lazy to do it until she was forced this evening, and she was crying while doing it. The crying wasn't necessary but that was what she has been doing right from childhood, she use crying to get out of any situation. Whenever she cries, my parents will pamper her and exempt her from any chore, tears are her power 😂.

I saw my mom in a defeated mood standing in front of the toilet and dishing out mopping instructions to my sister who was doing the task haphazardly, I was just laughing and teasing my mom about the whole thing. I told her; "you're finally reaping the fruit you sowed years ago, now you know how the rest of us always feel whenever she refuses to do her chores".

Source

Why did I say that to my mom? Well, that's because she and my dad are the reason for why my youngest sister is very lazy right now. While growing up, my parents raised us like soldiers. I am the first child and I started doing most of the chores at home from a very young age. I started cooking from the age of 8, I swept the house daily, fetched water, washed plates, looked after my younger ones, and sometimes look after my mom's store which is beside our house.

The cooking aspect started with my mom always dragging me to join her in the kitchen whenever she was cooking, then later on she started giving me simple meals to prepare and if I forget a step in the recipe, I go and ask her. Doing all those chores back then was very frustrating and I always complained but after a while, I got used to doing them, and right now, I am grateful for the way my mom raised me

She used the same method for my younger ones as well, they all started doing chores from a very young age and in a short while, we have practically taken over all the chores in the house. Whenever we were stubborn and didn't do a task properly, my mom whooped the hell out of us, she was very strict and we saw her as the villain of our childhood 😂

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But everything changed when my youngest sister arrived: the last born. My mom whom we knew as a fierce and raging lion suddenly became a gentle cat. My sister never passed through the same method the rest of us passed through, my mom almost tore us apart when we were still kids but my sister's case was different; she was treated like a princess and it pissed off the rest of us 😆.

Whenever we try to make her do a simple chore, my mom comes to her rescue and she ends up not doing it. My dad was the same, he over-pampered her and never allowed her to do anything in the house and when I noticed what was going on, I already know it will become a disaster in the future, they are giving her too much power and I knew she will get used to it.

I remembered something that happened 7 years ago, the day I beat my sister because she refused to go to school. That was the first day I was beating any of my siblings, the whole thing triggered me and I whopped her silly that day. But despite all the beating, she never moved an inch, I was shocked and speechless! If I received a beating like that from my parents, I usually run out of the house to prevent getting whooped more, but my sister never moved, that was when I knew her stubbornness is not of this world.

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My mom came back from work later in the night and she talked my ears out with her words. She said I should never beat my sister ever again, she was going on and on about how I wanted to kill her. I am pretty sure if it was back when she was still a ruthless commando, she would have whooped my a*ss 😂 This was the same mom that never allowed any of us to miss school, even if it means she have to drag us kicking and screaming to school (she actually did).

That day, I told her that the way she's training my younger sister will end up backfiring and today, I reminded her of that event 7 years ago and what I said. I started doing a lot of the house chores from the age of 8 but my youngest sister is 14 and she's still been forced to do simple chores. I told my mom that she was reaping the fruits she sowed years ago and at one point, only she, my dad, and the last born will remain in the house when I and my other siblings leave the nest.

I just kept wondering why my mom had to switch from the method she used for me and my other siblings when she knows it was very effective. We turned out well because of the way my mom raised us and my parents barely complain about any of us, but the youngest one is the exception, she's always giving everyone headaches.

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I remember me and my other siblings telling my mom to allow us to raise our youngest sister in our own way when she was still very young but my mom refused, and now she has grown too big for us to do anything, so we all left her for my mom and dad to handle. We always look for an opportunity to tease them whenever my sister is frustrating them 😂

I am happy with the way I and my siblings turned out because of my parents, they always make sure we did the right thing and they never failed to discipline us when we go wayward. I am grateful for how my childhood was, back then I didn't like any of the chores I did or my mom's strict nature, but now I have come to appreciate them. So yeah, my parents raised me right, what about you?

Thanks for reading 💖💖💖

Sunday July 24, 2022

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Avatar for Kushyzee
2 years ago

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I can say that my parent raised me right, coz they taught me how to respect others and be responsible. But let us keep in mind whether you was raised right by your parents, when you reached your right age you are solely responsible in every action you will make. Coz we are old enough to choose whether to be good or bad .

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Yeah that's certainly true, but majority of the behavior and character of a person is implemented in their childhood, the way they are raised has a major stake in how they will turn out in the future. One other factor that can influence this is their environment outside the home, but most of the time it's kids who are disciplined enough from home that can get influenced by the society

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2 years ago

I think this thing has to do with time of old(2010 downwards), because the children the way I see parents handle their children now is surprising. OR LET ME SAY WE ARE NOW IN A MODERN WORLD. I know how and my siblings were brought up, we dare not to dodge any assignments or be ready to get a hot beating. We learnt how to Cook from a very tender age because most times hunger go wire you and you'd be left with no other option than to boil water yam and eat 🤣.

But these days, I see people pampering children with ordinary shout of "don't do that again?" without beating.

Township has a lot on this too: Back in the days we were at home villa, whenever it's Christmas and all those lagosians come home, we used to see a lot of manifestation from their children too. I remember when one of my age then (,# Lady) could not flush toilet after using it, either her mom does it or her siblings. The mom said she's not used to public toilet. Choke 🤣

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Just imagine. I think you're right about these things happening in this modern age, style of parenting has changed a lot from how it used to be in the past. I have also noticed how parents no longer discipline their children when they do something wrong and all these is tied to social media and their "woke generation" mentality.

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2 years ago

My parents too raised us right. We are all taught how to do all the chores at home and the cooking. Then when I have children and they go to school, I hate it when they are spoiled there and not even know how to clean. At home, I told them, it is not the same in school, they pay someone to clean their classroom through our weekly contributions. But at home, they need to work and know how to wash the dishes, wash their clothes and other stuff. I told them, we are raised by your grandparents right so we knew the hardworks. Now my kids do listen and even have separate chores at home.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

I believe that tradition of doing house chores from a young age should be passed down from parents to children, it's better to let the kids know from a young age that they should get used to doing those chores, later on they will be disciplined enough to do them without being asked. Kids that don't do house chores mostly grow up to become lazy adults who don't know how to take care of their homes

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Exactly, we should all learn how to do the house chores at an early age so we will know how hard to work and how it rewards us too.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Hmm. I think sometimes there's s special recognition for the last born. They are well-taken care of and usually, their tasks are not heavy. So that's why when they ask to do something they don't usually doing, goodness. Expect a cry and unexpected things to happen.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Yeah that's what I have noticed as well, the last borns of some families are treated specially from the other siblings but I have also seen families where the last born isn't treated differently

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2 years ago

It also depends on how the kids think.. And yes, some even have irresponsible parents but grow into responsible ones. It's because they want to have a life that is too far from what their parents give them. .some become rebels because they opt to.. To get the attention that their parents can't give. Can be their parent's attention too..

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Wow, this is a very beautiful assertion and I totally agree with you. There's usually two main paths for children with irresponsible parents; the ones that seek for a better life than the one their parents gave them and the ones that becomes rebellious just to get their parents to notice them, they end up taking that behavior into adulthood

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I can relate , I too started doing household chores with early age. I don't have a choice because seems it was required. Unlike our younger brother and sister the last two born, my God! They were too lazy!

When forced them to do so, they complained like they are already abused!

$ 0.01
2 years ago

😂 that's exactly what's happening with our last born, anytime she's forced to do a chore, she will be behaving like someone that is being maltreated

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Hahaha,our mother is very softhearted seeing us crying is their weaknesses..

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Exactly 😆 but not when we do it all the time, then it becomes annoying

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I am the last born of my family. I can't say they treated me any differently from my elder ones.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

That's how it's supposed to be, all the children should be treated the same way

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2 years ago

Parents relent in their disciplinary skills when it gets to the last child... I think age also plays a role in this. I just hope your sister becomes a good girl

$ 0.01
2 years ago

They shouldn't have to relent when it gets to the last child, they don't have to treat them differently from the other siblings. I also believe age is a factor in all these

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Hahaha it was fun reading this blog of yours Kushyzee. Maybe parents want to try other method to see what will be the child's reaction, this situation I guess balance their super strict nature. Now it's time to teach the young girl to prepare her in adult life. One way or another, she will learn it, even in the hard way.

I knew how you feel, I've meet kids that are hardheaded and no proper boundaries, even adults. The way they were raised up were in "improper guidance and direction". They do what they want even if it's harming to them or the neighbors. I hope she will not get there. Constructive discipline is good.

They demand their way. They wil learn hard lessons one day.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

That first paragraph is exactly what I was thinking as well, maybe my parents wanted to try a different approach and see if it works, they wanted to see if she will be able to do things on her own without relying on instructions but it backfired. Kids shouldn't be raised with that much freedom, they will end up being lazy and irresponsible later on

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2 years ago