@Kloverztel28 27 August 2020 more from that month

Feeling Unappreciated? 4 Ways to End This Pain.

Do you ever look at the people you love and want to cry because they do not see how much you do to make them okay? Do you ever want to scream at a loved one saying, “after everything I do or have done for you, you treat me like this?” Have you ever been in a position to do something for a loved one and you hesitate not because you don’t want to help them but because you know they would not appreciate it? Do you ever find yourself thinking of detaching yourself from a loved one because it hurts to pour all of yourself into caring for them and get nothing in return? Do you ever want to stop doing so great at work because while you are mostly covering the asses of people who are defaulting, and adding value to the company, you are unnoticed? If these questions struck you, then you are feeling unappreciated and that is right, but it is not okay. It is right to feel unappreciated when you are unappreciated, but it is not okay to feel that way because that feeling comes with a lot of pain – the pain you would rather do without. There are a lot of terrible feelings that can plague humans, such as feeling unloved, feeling underestimated, feeling rejected, and many others. However, one of the worst feelings is feeling unappreciated. Feeling unappreciated is one of the worst feelings because it is never a feeling that stems as a result of being around strange people. It is a feeling that stems from being around people you are familiar with, either family or work. The hurt never goes away. It just keeps growing and growing until one day, you are overwhelmed by the bad feelings and hurt you cannot shake. When you start feeling this way, you begin to detach from the people who make you feel this way. This can include a family member, friend, spouse, or child. It can also be your colleagues at work or your boss. This feeling of not being appreciated enough can only come from putting care, resources, and emotions into something or someone. When you are investing emotions and resources into certain people and they turn around and are not appreciative of your kind gesture, this feels like a stab to the heart. You are doing everything possible to make your family and friends comfortable. To make them feel better only for them to be ungrateful that is one hell of a betrayal. You should never have to regret things you did for love. Feeling unappreciated can get you to that point. If you ever have to regret the things you did for love, then that love was not worth it, and it does not matter who that love was shown to. We all want to feel appreciated because we deserve credit for all the good we do for our loved ones. However, when these appreciations do not come, we feel like we did not do things right. First of all, wipe that feeling from your mind. You did everything right. They are the ones who don’t know what they have and what they stand to lose, should you walk away. Again, it is right to feel unappreciated. But if you would want to move forward in life, it might be time to let go of that feeling and the pain that comes with it. 4 Ways to Get Rid of Feeling Unappreciated Here are 4 ways you can get rid of that awful feeling of being unappreciated and be happier in life. 1. Do Things for Yourself A meme says “One day, you will tell people you did everything for them, and they will tell you they never asked you and they would be right.” The hard truth is that these people whom you are moving mountains and breaking boundaries for never asked you to do it for them. You did it because deep inside your heart, it felt right. You may be working super hard and doing all the right things at work but if you are doing them just to get noticed, you are doing it all wrong. When you do things for yourself, you feel better. You may be wondering why you have to work harder and carry the whole team on your back for yourself at work. You are helping yourself grow and pushing your career further by doing just that. You may also be wondering why you have to do things for your family members when they do not appreciate it. But you are simply positioning yourself for the universe to be kinder. 2. Appreciate Yourself There is a funny Nigerian adage about the Lizard. It goes, “The lizard nods every time it takes a huge jump because it says to itself ‘If nobody appreciates me, I will appreciate myself’.” You can also buy a good bottle of wine, play some music, and drink a glass of it. You have done great; give yourself a treat because you deserve it. You cannot keep waiting for people to treat you better. Treat yourself better first. Someone once said, “You are the first example of what loving you should look like.” Of course! You are the first example of what appreciating you should look like. When people see that you appreciate yourself to the max, they had better do better when they want to appreciate you. They have seen at this point that you do not care much for their appreciation and that you can do right by yourself. 3. Be Appreciative of Others It might be easy to want to treat people in the way that you have been treated; it is tempting really. Why should you be appreciative when you are grossly unappreciated? But there is a rule good people go by, and it is “always do unto others as you would want to be done unto you.” Always live your life by this directive. The reason people are unappreciative of you is that they do not live their life by this directive. They expect good things, but they do not show forth this good. Set an example. Be the difference they are too distracted to be. Be the bigger, better person, and say your thank you’s with all the appreciation you can muster. You are not them, and they are not you. you should never let people who do not know better influence you and make you tilt to their direction. Forget the “If you cannot beat them, join them” rule, and move on to “if you cannot beat them, teach them”. Children learn to say thank you from their parents, then go on to replicate this good behavior. Gratitude and appreciation are the habits of a decent human. Be a decent human. 4. Keep in Mind That Life Is Not Fair Darling, life is not fair. You will be taken for granted, and you will be hurt. All of these things are how mother nature balances herself.