We are two in this relationship!

December 02!

I thank God for having this new day. I feel so blessed indeed because another day I've surpassed.

Thursday, a day where tears been fall at the very beginning of new month. Perhaps it doesn't so good right! I don't know it just falls like a river.

I wake up early because I've waited someone to chat me. Our time is not compatible each other since he has another time which is here is morning and there is night. I guess we have thirteen gap time zone. It was a big difference though!

When I woke up I hurriedly pick up my phone and try to check out if you are there. Luckily, you are there waited me for us to have some chitchats. You greeted me Good morning since its morning here. Feels like I miss this greetings every woke up. So yeah! We've tried to exchange our messages. You want me to open my IMO app because you want to have video call but sadly its hard to connect. I tried to call you too if in case it will connect but then it was just connecting. (so sad)! I am very obssessed the way you reply every messages because I know you have only 1GB for every once a week. Definitely, every mb that you given to me will surely be treasured as what I've treasure you every beat in my life.

This time you are having a video call with your mom and while us is chatting. If we were having video call, you are too busy as well chatting at the same time. Our settings would definitely a struggle somehow because you need to utilized every internet you had.

In this case, being your partner is somewhat a struggle as well. I feel being not priority in your existence, I feel how being less. I don't know why I feel this way. Maybe it's because I'm longing with you. Whenever I have problems you were not there listening my dramas, whenever I need arms you were not there as well that I needed to lean on, whenever I need your hands you were not there that I needed to hold on and keep going. Your presence is highly needed. But I don't have choice to feel the moment of sadness, breakdown with the absence of yours.

Lately, atlast we're connected. We are able to talk virtually and seen each other. The way I approach you, I feel like I'm too rude. Of course, you've feel it that I'm not okay. You look at my eyes was a bit lonely. You keep asking, why? What happened? What's the problem? Tell me? My answer to your questions was tears, tears falling coming from my eyes. I feel how you are flattered that way seeing me as your partner battling my emotions. I been pushing you away and make you feel that I AM OKAY! But then it makes you uncomfortable and not believing my response. What you did is convincing myself to express of whats inside of me.

In my part, I have many things to tell you about my day, achievement, problems, and many things that wanted to share it all to you but it turns out 'I have nothing to tell'.

This was probably define my side. I don't have nothing to say where in fact I want to say everything. It sucks me! It feels me crazy that way.

You told me that I need to open up with you no matter what because you simply said this "we are two in this relationship". And now you convince me to share my sadness inside. I told you that I feel unworthy, I feel sad, not priority and less. That was makes me bothered day by day and also that was my silent battle that I need to conquer everyday. I cried while telling all the shitty things inside of me.

As what you respond me you said, Am I not worth it with your love? It makes me again bothered because I don't want you to feel that way. I told you that you are worthy enough and only myself has wrong. Why its hard for me to accept our situation right now wherein I need you the most whenever I feel sad but you weren't there. I'm in the process of accepting our settings and keep trying everyday. You feel sorry for your absence in times in my breakdown. I feel you how you feel my sentiments in our relationships. One thing you told me

It hitted my heart and automatically remind God again. This Man really possess the goodness of God. I'm so very blessed for having you in times of emptiness and for reminding God as my savior.

A real quick realization of mine. I told you that Help me too. I need your prayers as well for us to fight this battle in our relationship.

I felt sorry with you since my conscience hit me. Your work wasn't healthy in terms of sleeping time and there you are trying to communicate for your family and for me. I felt sorry too that I'm giving you non sense thing instead of happiness but then with your kindness and love with me you said;

Whatever life may throw me but with your words will help me to hold on. I'm so blessed having you in my life since you are the God answered in me.

I know you are trying yourself as a good partner in me. You are imperfectly perfect for making this relationship hold on. I am blessed in every aspect from yours.

No matter what life can be still the goodness will always prevail.

Long distance relationship was kinda hard but there's no hard if one of us keeping the faith of God. One of us will stay optimist towards everything.

I am so blessedful everyday as I holding the faithfulness of God and with my one keeping me to bring out the best in me.

Te Amo Mi Amore♡