Urge To Live Alone

I just woke up from an afternoon nap. I decided to sleep because my head was throbbing with pain, hoping it would go away as soon as I woke up but I see it is not effective. The surrounding is filled with noises competing with each other. It makes me wish that I was somewhere in front of the ocean right now, listening to music or enjoying the sound of crashing waves. The cars passing by have loud engines, the radio from the neighborhood is inaudible, a music is playing from a distant stereo, and the home aura is lonely (and doesn't even feel like home).

I have seen multiple posts about romanticizing life and living it like I am the main character but most days, it was just dark and unproductive. I wished it looked like waking up early in the morning wearing only an oversized shirt and panty, dancing in the kitchen with my music blaring, and cleaning the house when I felt like lighting up the atmosphere.

Living alone is hard as what I heard. But having the freedom to do whatever you want was everything. I like the freedom of doing groceries on my own, the freedom of exercising wearing my comfortable ugly clothes, and the freedom of expressing sadness without someone seeing me cry. At this age, all I am craving to experience is to live independently. Having my own family discourage me that I am not capable of this is somewhat sad. Of course it is going to be hard at first but experience is the best teacher.

Every time the house feels like a toxic environment to do my online class, which is what I feel every day, it always makes me wonder: When will I start living on my own?

I am supposed to be no longer under my parents' house right now if only pandemic did not happen. I guess I'll just study with nuisance until it's time for me to move out. I am really excited.

Tell me about living alone based on your experience. Thank you!