Bittersweet 2020

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3 years ago
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The cancer full moon sandwich of a year that was.

If you ever wonder what a cancer full moon sandwich year feels like, you just had a whole of it in 2020. Cancer full moon opened up 2020 around the 10th of January and now another chancer full moon will close off 2020. This cancer full moon is sort of walking us into 2021 so get your terms and conditions from your guardians, be it Allah, God or the tooth fairy, you will need to see what you are about to get yourself into. It'll be a fun bumpy ride like no other just we'll set to have us all pumped up for 2022. Another amazing year awaiting us like these "2" years are filled with magic especially on February days and December days. Why? The duality, effect of "2"s. You can't dismiss it it's time, it's bound to pass wether you drink your craft or not. Lol

Back to reality, oops there goes gravity!

Nope he won't give up that easy nope!

For a jiffy I actually thought that as I was staring at the clock 00:00 into 2020, I thought this is it, here comes liberation but no, I overlooked a whole lot of retrogrades from my favourites, actually all of them had at least one retrograde session, the worst was 7 retrogrades at once for a few weeks in the middle of the year. The result of these in manifestations was obviously noted, floods, tsunamis, hurricanes, heat waves, political turmoil and what not. . .

On a personal note I've been going through a lot of crap at least the whole of 2019 so 2020 didn't really faze me if at all. I did learn so much from the double 2 year though. I've learned that I'm a tough one, that the world could try to change me and it would succeed only if it was real enough not to be fake with the change offering. Being a realist I see through all the jokes, schemes and scams being thrown around. The best of these is the verbalisation of direction, some true some not. It gets extremely hard to differentiate but stepping away from the differentiation of definition I have learned that nothing really matter. In that everything is compressed vibrations and all that crap but also that the very being that I claim to be is nothing but an extension of the rest. A chill, to relax breath is all I truly needed to breeze through 2020. . .

Physicality begs to be respected in these meat-suits what that means is that I had much more to unlearn only to relearn in a more focused manner. Practically numbers, vibrations and Frequencies. Everything that was but now getting it with the understanding of overstanding it because once you walk through hell, the storm with a smile, the devil tell you that there's a bad storm coming, you face him square at tell him "I am the storm". . .

Furthermore learning calls for service that things might have appeared to be working against me but the only truth there is about anything being against another or more than or whatever comparisons are there is the difinition we give to everything. If there is nothing to compare it to, then it'd be neither bad nor good or real nor fake. . .

As time went by I've learned even more about how to be happy on my own and maintain it. This brought me a whole load of shame, too much, I mean here I was busy getting a beating from the world thinking that I need something from them. It's turns out I kept lying to myself. I'd love to say that they lied to me or sold me dreams but that'd be too much credit for being who didn't try hard enough to deserve that. It's all a game now let's dissect it shall we?

Learning on... Abundance has always been my thing, I've always had a bit of this and that but more than thought I thought it was luck and hard work. Turns out it's much easier than that but guess what nobody wants to tell you about it. They are all beautiful beings trying to confuse you will all kinds of signals and motions. This made me ask myself what is it that Gods would be afraid of? Each other or me? Cos I most certainly am afraid of me. There were times I woke up and immediately I knew that things could never be the same cos I am not who I think I am. I thought I am this lovely little human tip toeing on eggshells but what I kept seeing is everything I can only dream of. So much power, so much drive so much strength then I just wonder why I would need to be what he chose to represent him. That's where 2020 started getting truly interesting. He barely speaks to me but there's so much noise it was towards the middle of the year there was a Gemini Moon that saw me somewhere in the mountains, this moon directed me into feeling and I dove deep into her moonlight, she told me not to worry. That it's alright, even when it's not alright it's still alright. Right there I found the peace I needed. I no longer needed to convince myself of me or seek approval unless I found myself under the influence again which happened so many times after that but that's alright. What mattered is that I've learned that life has its cycles and I'm getting tumbled till I get it. Once I got it everything was perfect. There is so much to do of course, match the vibrations, with the frequencies and consistency. It's a whole load of hard work that I would step back and ask myself why am I being so hard on myself? Then I realized that it's not me in the singular form it's us. We grow through this, forming newer fresher experiences, the only way out is to get better, focus on a niche and let it beg for your mercy while getting paid for it and still spitting that truth that releases the stressors that attract the vibes that inspire the stagnation of energies from within. The energy must flow, it's the meaning to life, the unconditional flow of energy.

We had stopped working out, the only action we had was the walks we did but we were filled with so much lower vibrations that kept attracting more lower vibrations. All because we thought of everyone as separate but they are all one, we are all one. You can pick one over the other although the illusions will have you believe that. with all this action going on in my life it got extremely hard to try and even be updated with the news. All I could do was think of the lies they are laying with every word and how I'll need something real strong when I snap out it, because it's absurd how much of my being on earth was based on foundations of illusions. The saddest part of this is that people walk around with these illusions believing that it's the truth.

I have had reached a bit of a conclusion somewhere towards the end of the year that I cannot let anyone dictate how I live or put me under sanctions like I owe them something. It's been the hardest thing ever, especially being under the trance of influence not being able to tell how much of yourself is left in you that's not overtaken by whatever sedative you took. The worst was the truth, that ultimate truth will set you free. Truth too is conditional in that truth is also what you do not know but are somewhat expected to know and portray or express in someway. The show must go on with or without the full awareness of truth. It's like stepping into the royal rumble all day everyday. We learned to embrace the silence that we could never maintain, the breath that we hasted through and the alkalinity of what we was made to dislike. In the end the only thing that really matters is love, the fabric from which all is made. They say there is nothing above God I dare say his part love is above all.

There's more to every love story, this one stays in the making. Filled with all types of feelings and emotions, thoughts and insights. It's beautiful. Even the sponsors like this.

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