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Stop downing yourself!

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Written by   294
8 months ago

Would you say the things you say to yourself, to someone you care for?

You're an idiot.

You're fat.

You're ugly.

You're stupid.

You're such a failure.

You're useless.

You can't do anything right.

Have you said those things to yourself? Would you say them to a loved one? No? Then why say it to yourself?

Focus on uplifting yourself with your positive traits

There may be many things you don't like about yourself, but why do we always feel the need to have these horrible thoughts enter our minds? What about all the things you are good at? Concentrate on those and you will see the negative thoughts will eventually drift away.

When you start thinking those bad thoughts about yourself, talk to yourself as if you are talking to your best friend. If your best friend told you:

I'm such a failure.

What would you say to them? You would tell them about all the good they have done and successes they have had. You would support them and uplift them. You would help them to focus on a positive outlook. You need to do that for yourself as well. You are your own best friend, the amount of time you spend with yourself is more than what you spend with anyone else, so you need to focus on uplifting yourself.

Believe in success - your success

Someone once told me:

If you believe you can, or you believe you can't, either way you will be right.

Each day is a new challenge for us, we can choose to feel as though we are less than what we are, or we can choose to be positive about all we have done and are doing. Did you know that getting out of bed can be considered a success?

There are some people who are so depressed that they cannot even handle getting up in the morning. Even if you get up, wash your face and brush your teeth, you achieved something. Focus on the small steps. Don't judge yourself by other people's standards. You are living your life - nobody else's. The whole "walk a mile in my shoes" thing, is 100% accurate. Nobody knows your struggles or what you are living through, you need to be kind to yourself.

Don't let a failure turn your thoughts negative

Remember this (oh my word I'm about to be corny! 🤭) do you know what "FAIL" stands for? I can't believe I'm quoting my teachers right now!

F- First

A - Attempt

I - In

L - Learning

If we don't fail, we never know the joy of our success. You have to see where you were, relative to where you are today, and if you don't like that place you have the opportunity to take action to change that.

Original image by geralt on Pixabay, edited by me.
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Why am I writing this post now?

I'm using myself as an example...normally this time of the year I get extremely morbid. I get sad. I ask myself the following:

  • What have you achieved?

I haven't achieved financial freedom, I haven't achieved wealth or luxury. But you know what, guess what I did do?

I took care of my family. I made sure we have a roof over our head and food in the fridge. I made sure that we have remained positive. I have remained with work despite the worst financial crisis the world has ever seen. I have achieved success at work in the industry I'm in and acknowledgement for my hard work. I've achieved taking care of my Furbabies and raising my beautiful little puppy to see his first Christmas and New Year in with us.

Isn't he cute! 😛

  • Did you succeed in what your plans were for 2021?

No. I'm not in the UK. I didn't immigrate there, I didn't achieve a huge figure in my bank account. I don't physically look like a super model and I've had a health crisis.

I did succeed in establishing that I actually don't want to live in the UK anymore after the craziness of the pandemic. Africa is the safest place for my family and I at the moment. I also learned a lot about myself through all I went through. I am able to walk around, be as physical as I was before that horrible episode happened, and it has helped me to focus on nutrition and taking better care of myself. It has helped me to be thankful for things that I took for granted. I will never take walking up steps, or stirring my cup of coffee for granted again. Those are "normal" activities, but after being faced with such poor health that I couldn't do those simple things properly - I will never look at a cup of coffee or tea the same way again.

  • What are your plans for 2022?

Too many! 😂 I am going to make a dedicated post just for this. I feel that 2022 deserves its own area to be able to fully dedicate my thoughts too. I'll be drafting that post soon.

  • What could you have done differently?

Very little. I have no regrets. There is nothing that I could have done (without being able to see into the future) that would have changed my circumstances today. I am thankful I have no regrets, my choices through the year have been made with honesty, integrity and with my heart. I can put my head on the pillow at night and sleep without guilt.

How do you start talking to yourself positively?

Identify the problem

I think (as with everything we want to fix in life), the first step is identifying that there is actually a problem. Notice the times you speak poorly about yourself. Notice your thoughts. Notice when you are being negative with yourself - and change your mindset. Turn the can't into a can, turn the I'm useless into I'm successful.

Writing this now reminded me of this beautiful song, story and part of a competition I used to watch a lot:

If you can't play the above because of internet issues, below is my favourite quote from the song in the picture.

Below and lead image source: my edit of photo by Pixabay User Bessi, with the words of Flight Song by Rachel Platten merged into it.

Get rid of the things that contribute to your negative thoughts

If there are people, places, or any sources of negativity that bring you down - block them out. I've not had news on since 1 December - do you have and idea how ALIVE I feel? I am focussing on the good things surrounding me. I don't start or end my day with the "media". I start and end my day by choosing a video on YouTube and listening to it as I drive to work or fall asleep at night.

Get used to talking to yourself

People say it's a sign of madness, and that if you answer yourself, then it's confirmed - well then I'm totally insane 😛 So what if you have a mental chat with yourself? What is wrong with thinking your thoughts through and having a proper pep talk with yourself to make sure you are "good"? Why shouldn't we get to know ourselves? Laugh at yourself, laugh with yourself. Do you ever do something silly or funny when you're alone and have a giggle? Some people stop at the giggle and don't let it go into a full on laugh that it normally would if they were around people.

Turn into your own best friend

Do you know that if you want to attract people into your life and build on relationships, that you need to know yourself first? If you don't know who you really are, and if you aren't comfortable with your own self, how could others get to know you? Take some time out for yourself, and get to know what you like, what you want, what you enjoy. Not what others enjoy so you just tag along. Do you remember the movie Run Away Bride? Depending on which husband she was going to marry she changed the way she liked her eggs to suit the husband. Don't change your eggs! Silly example, but find out what type of eggs you want in life.


Because YOU are perfect the way you are. Don't let anyone tell you differently. We all have things we can improve on - but be you. Don't let others perceptions change YOU.

I think it's time for me to get a cup of coffee and stop while I'm ahead, I sound a little too much like one of these floating motivational speakers now 😂

Thank you for reading!

Thank you for the likes, comments, upvotes from everyone who follows me 🌺 and thank you to everyone who has subscribed and read my post to this point 🌻

Have a beautiful weekend friends 🤩

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Written by   294
8 months ago
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Super inspirational, my newfound friend on this platform! I have been trying to get rid of the big techs. I hope I will have at least one big tech app closed for my use soon.

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8 months ago

okay, this one is meant for me. I am sure. Every word speaks to me, like.. it's so relevant. The title itself speaks volume! I relate so much. ♥️

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8 months ago

Oh, I think it's meant for me to read this. I always said to myself that I am so ugly for gaining so much weight when it's caused by my PCOS. I tried many things to reduce my weight but nothing happened. I am very much insecure because I am so tired of hearing from other people how their body shames me. My thoughts are killing me and I couldn't even tell how and why I'm still surviving all these torments I received from myself and to others. Then I come to figure out, I'm still fighting.

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8 months ago

You said it right dear. We should not burden ourselves with extra thinking. We have new challenges. Let's face them.

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8 months ago

The power which is needed to uplift us, lives inside us, so stop degrading yourself at any failure because we are also human and can commit errors. Thank you for sharing the tips to be positive to ourselves.

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8 months ago

Thank you sis for the inspirational articles. Owww your dog was very cute.💖 I am a dog lover and i have mine also 😊

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8 months ago

Thank you so much for reading! What type of doggy do you have?

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8 months ago

Thanks for this encouragement, sis. I don't know but I really need something to uplift me. I need motivation because I am tired of my life. What's the breed of your dog, anyway? 😁 I'm sure he's excited to have his first xmas and new year with you.

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8 months ago

He is a Jack Russel :) Sending you big hugs my friend. I know things aren't easy for you right now. I am glad you talk about it though xxx What would you like to change about your life now? What is making you the most sad / demotivated?

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8 months ago