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Motherhood of a Furbaby, Love, Loss, Heartbreak and Healing

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Avatar for JustMyRambles01
Written by   162
4 weeks ago
Topics: Love, Pets, Loss, Grief, Healing

We have had Furbabies for as long as I've been alive. Mom and Dad have had their own Furbabies before I even came into the world, I've grown up in an environment where Furbabies are always there. And I don't want it any other way.

This post is my rambles about what I've been through and some random bits of advice that I can give to anyone who may be feeling the way I have been.

I also want to apologize for not being here as frequently. Thankfully now that my mind is in a better place I believe that will change and go back to the way things were with my regular-rambles!


I want to say a big fat HUGE amazing crazy thank you to these wonderful people down here!

And I want to thank everyone for your comments, likes, upvotes and just in general your awesome support through the last couple of weeks.


Motherhood of a Furbaby

It's a life long commitment - if not for your entire life, for their entire life. They just don't live as long as we do and that tears us apart every time we lose one of them. I've been both fortunate and unfortunate that my Babies have all lived to an old age, even the one who passed away "young" was still in her older years. To us it was just young because our other cats were all older.

With them living so long, they become not just part of the family, but there's a big fat paw print they put into your heart. The older they get, the bigger the paw print gets. And when that paw print gets to the point where you lose them - it's a paw print that is like a branding iron across your heart.

Things to remember:

  • It's okay to cry - no matter when, where, how or why

Not a day has gone by that I haven't cried for one reason or another after her loss. Whether it's in the shop next to the meat I would buy for her, in the garden, in my bed, by where her food used to be. I still cry. It still hurts. And you know what? That's okay - and nobody should ever make you feel bad about howling your eyes out because at the end of the day, it's YOUR emotions and YOUR healing process.

  • You need to heal

I'm one of those people who is either stone cold and dead quiet, or a sobbing crying blubbering mess if I'm having an emotional meltdown. Which ever path your healing journey takes you, that's okay.

Be mindful of those around you though, they are trying to heal as well. I know that I get very defensive, snappy, and short tempered (I can actually hear my Fiancé's words, "You mean more so than normal?" 😂) when I'm trying to be okay and I have often had to shut my mouth for a couple of seconds longer because I just want to scream and shout and rage and it's not anyone's fault what I'm feeling. It's got nothing to do with them why I'm angry.

  • They aren't just animals

If anyone says that they're JUST animals to you when you're falling apart and are broken after the loss of one of your Furbabies, here's the solution:

Above image source: https://www.sharecopia.com/cannot-cut-people-life/

Above image source: https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/9gv2j4/sometimes_you_got_to_cut_the_vato/

In all seriousness - yep. That's what my solution is. My friends-circle are those who get it, and if you don't:

Above image source: https://memegenerator.net/instance/59758711/bye-felicia-queen-bye-felicia

  • You don't have to be strong all the time

Crying is part of the healing process and it's okay to admit that you're not okay.

  • Remember the good times, and be at peace with the sad times

There is a continual temptation with our annoying heads as humans to replay the sad things and the bad things in life, rather than to focus on the beautiful and the positive. When you find yourself doing the negative-thing, you need to consciously remember the good times.

Being at peace with the sad times, what does that even mean? To me? It means that although there is pain, sadness and loss, I did what was right during that time. Your Furbaby should always come first and your needs / wants second. In their last days, right up until their last moments, they need you more than anything to be understanding and to focus on what they need above all else. They need you. By giving them all of you, you will be able to be at peace with the sad times. No matter how much the sad time hurts, your heart will be comforted that you were there when they needed you most.

  • When you receive their ashes back, it will devastate you all over again

There is a horrifying realization that the little miracle that was once the centre of your attention will one day not be there, and even worse, that they will be handed to you over the counter in a box. The horror of seeing that box (no matter how beautiful it is) will devastate you and will tear your heart to pieces across that little branded paw print.

Find comfort in the fact that your Baby has come home. I did.

I am thankful she is (physically) home with us, and that her little spirit is running free somewhere with my Granny and our other Furbabies who passed before her. One day when it's my time, they will all be waiting for me on the other side as well.

Prepare yourself for the time when you collect their ashes - give yourself time to do it. Driving a car when you're sobbing and can't catch you breath is not a good idea. Give yourself the time you need to sit there and cry until you can get the strength to go home safely.

  • Find a way to heal that works for you

Healing

I cannot say I've healed from the loss of my Baby, or that I ever will. I wrote about her here:


https://read.cash/@JustMyRambles01/my-baby-is-gone-and-i-am-broken-22534ac3


But what I can say is that I'm doing a lot better than I was. In our family, after the loss of a Furbaby we have always looked out for the possibility of bringing a little bundle of joy into our lives.

For me, this time? It was different. I went out and started LOOKING for a baby.

I wasn't coping "alone"

You can only walk around like a zombie for so long, fighting the tears that are there, or sobbing continually. My Mom and Dad are an incredible support structure for me, and so is my Fiancé - however, as much as I love them more than anything in the world...when your heart is breaking every day with the loss, the only thing (for me) that can help is giving a home to a baby who needs it.

I started looking for a Baby who could share our home and be loved. This was last week which I posted on noise.cash about me trying to find a little rescue (second paragraph):

Anyway. I'm sure at some point I'll have a rant over the way they carry on and the truths behind SOME of the rescue places. But today is not that day - today is love, cuddles and positivity.

Collecting Baby

On Thursday last week I went to collect my baby boy, this little bundle of joy has helped me more than I could have imagined. As I type this right now, here he is, on my lap, being the sweetest little cuddle-bum in the world.

He slept all the way home on my lap in the car as I drove, the introduction with my Mom's Furbaby went so much better than we could all have imagined. He is fiercely protective of us, and our home, despite his tiny size 😂

Mom was very stressed about the introduction and worried about how he might respond to a family member being added. I was confident that it wouldn't be an issue because I believe there are very few circumstances where a meeting would be unsuccessful. Dad was going with the flow and trying to reassure us everything is okay, he's okay (more so telling that to himself as well 😂).

In 3 and a half days, the two have turned into brothers and play friends. Our older boy has a new lease on life, Mom and Dad's hearts are bursting with love, and I am able to give the love in my heart to a little baby who needs it.

It's time for me to go get coffee!

I've been up since just before 3am and Baby is going to need his little wee-wee soon and then game time (again 😛)!

I hope you will have a beautiful Sunday and a wonderful week ahead 🌺

IMAGES: All photos are my own unless a link is given under the image

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Avatar for JustMyRambles01
Written by   162
4 weeks ago
Topics: Love, Pets, Loss, Grief, Healing
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Comments

Hello! Good evening! I am much affected reading this because this reminds me of my ex. Just like you, she was so sad when her dog was gone because of parvo virus. We did everything but the dog did not take it anymore. It was hard for her to move on but she did just like you. We can't be sorrowful as always. Maybe someday you can have one again 🤭

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3 weeks ago

Good job in being strong despite the strong heartbreaks. They are nit JUST animals, we treat them as if they are family. I could even say I can love our oets more than our human neighbors. hehehe.

What a cute bundle of sunshine.

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4 weeks ago

Cutie little baby, enjoying the moments at your side

$ 0.05
4 weeks ago

Watching him learn his name and bounce around is as sweet as his yawns before he collapses asleep into my arms 🤩😄

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4 weeks ago

Ahhh the cutie fur baby sleeping so cute 😍😍

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4 weeks ago

My heart is bursting with love 😛🤩 he's asleep now but soon he will be up and we can have more crazy games 🤭

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4 weeks ago

As I read this article, I can't deny the fact that I felt a sudden fear in my heart. I don't think I'd be able to handle the pain once my furbabies will be gone (knock on wood). I don'ttt know if I can bear the pain of their loss 😔

$ 0.05
4 weeks ago

Sending you hugs xxx love them every second while they are with you 🌺🌻

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4 weeks ago

I understand how you feel, losing my pet many years ago stopped me from having another one. I couldn't bear the loss of seeing my pet leave again.

Of course, they aren't just animals and there is a time when you need them because even humans wouldn't be there for you. The little prince is cute and charming.

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4 weeks ago

There's no wrong in crying it is one way for us to ease the pain that we felt. When our cat lost i and my sister also cried and now we are focus to mikki our little cat here. Your fur baby is so cute.

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4 weeks ago

Aweeee. Proud to be a furmom of two ❤️. Thank you for this article. I will take note of this 😍

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4 weeks ago

Anyone that refers to them as "just animals" are heartless and don't have much respect for them. It's good that you're finally bouncing back to your feet. Congratulations on your new furbaby, he looks cute ❤️.

Ps: I love the memes

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4 weeks ago

Crying is part of the healing process and it's okay to admit that you're not okay.

Indeed. I've been there. I loss pet several times and its painful. Crying is one of my coping mechanism to deal with my emotional baggage, and it is not a sign of weakness but rather courage to face the painful reality.

$ 0.05
4 weeks ago

You are so right about the crying. I'm sorry for your losses as well. I feel like crying helps to just let it all out as well 🌻

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4 weeks ago

I feel you sis everything you’ve been through. Weeks ago i made an article about them too, i almost did not finish writing them because I was crying the whole time. It was the hardest i have ever written. My take aways to what you have written:

  1. It's a life long commitment - if not for your entire life, for their entire life. (Sacrifice a lot of my time doing other things just to go home and be with th knowing how they aged quickly)

  2. I'm one of those people who is either stone cold and dead quiet, or a sobbing crying blubbering mess if I'm having an emotional meltdown. Which ever path your healing journey takes you, that's okay. (I’m the sobbing, crying blubbering mess and i don’t care if it happened while i am ordering a meal or paying in front of a cashier)

  3. If anyone says that they're JUST animals to you when you're falling apart and are broken after the loss of one of your Furbabies… i can totally relate with the meme 😅

P.S. i am also a dog rescuer. I have one right now, a victim of hit and run. Hopefully she can recover and walk again soon and will put her up for adoption. Hugs to what you are going through 💕

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4 weeks ago

Your babyboy made my day, friend. It's so nice to hear such story about your baby because I am also a furparent. 😁 And as much a possible, I would like to spend my days with them because I don't know until when they will stay. 🤧 You are right. There are not just animals. They are family

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4 weeks ago

Heyyyý! All this time and I didn't know we are both fur-mommys 😋 what babies do you have?

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4 weeks ago

Cats and dogs. 5 dogs and many cats I can't count 😁

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3 weeks ago

Your furbaby is a cutieeee. If ever I have a chance to get one soon, I will sleep beside them in my bed hihi

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4 weeks ago

🤣😛 he slept in my arm last night with me sleeping with one arm open to make sure he didn't fall off the bed 😅 he is a very good little boy though 🌻 I do hope you will find a baby soon xx

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4 weeks ago

Ommoooo, I can imagine how cute he was sleeping in your arms and trying not to fall off from the bed last night😍😂

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4 weeks ago

So cute when asleep....you've got a beautiful baby there. Loosing a pet is really painful just like when I lost mine so I can understand very well. Do take care

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4 weeks ago

He is also even cuter when he is running around 🤣 I'm so sorry for your loss. What baby did you have?

$ 0.02
4 weeks ago

Aww...I can understand the pain you had passed through by lossing a furbaby.but I am glad to see the new baby who is soo cute.Once we also lessed a pet dog and it was really painful thing.

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4 weeks ago

I am sorry for your loss xxx

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4 weeks ago

Sending you another big hug across the ocean. We never truly heal from loss, it just gets easier to manage with each passing day. I've had to say goodbye to a fair number of fur babies over the years and not a single one has been easy :-( I do hope that your new little baba helps to give you a new channel for your love and attention. He needs it and I'm sure he knows that you need him too.

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4 weeks ago

He is already helping so much 🌺 seeing his little face and bubbly craziness makes me smile. My Fiancé even said the weekend "it's so good to see you smile again". I'm so sorry for your losses as well xxx

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4 weeks ago

Omoo. Your baby is so cute..🥰

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4 weeks ago

Thank you! Yes, and when he runs he is even cuter 🤣

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4 weeks ago