Join 75,974 users and earn money for participation
read.cash is a platform where you could earn money (total earned by users so far: $ 537,011.66).
You could get tips for writing articles and comments, which are paid in Bitcoin Cash (BCH) cryptocurrency,
which can be spent on the Internet or converted to your local money.
Takes one minute, no documents required
Motherhood of a Furbaby, Love, Loss, Heartbreak and Healing
We have had Furbabies for as long as I've been alive. Mom and Dad have had their own Furbabies before I even came into the world, I've grown up in an environment where Furbabies are always there. And I don't want it any other way.
This post is my rambles about what I've been through and some random bits of advice that I can give to anyone who may be feeling the way I have been.
I also want to apologize for not being here as frequently. Thankfully now that my mind is in a better place I believe that will change and go back to the way things were with my regular-rambles!
It's a life long commitment - if not for your entire life, for their entire life. They just don't live as long as we do and that tears us apart every time we lose one of them. I've been both fortunate and unfortunate that my Babies have all lived to an old age, even the one who passed away "young" was still in her older years. To us it was just young because our other cats were all older.
With them living so long, they become not just part of the family, but there's a big fat paw print they put into your heart. The older they get, the bigger the paw print gets. And when that paw print gets to the point where you lose them - it's a paw print that is like a branding iron across your heart.
It's okay to cry - no matter when, where, how or why
Not a day has gone by that I haven't cried for one reason or another after her loss. Whether it's in the shop next to the meat I would buy for her, in the garden, in my bed, by where her food used to be. I still cry. It still hurts. And you know what? That's okay - and nobody should ever make you feel bad about howling your eyes out because at the end of the day, it's YOUR emotions and YOUR healing process.
You need to heal
I'm one of those people who is either stone cold and dead quiet, or a sobbing crying blubbering mess if I'm having an emotional meltdown. Which ever path your healing journey takes you, that's okay.
Be mindful of those around you though, they are trying to heal as well. I know that I get very defensive, snappy, and short tempered (I can actually hear my Fiancé's words, "You mean more so than normal?" 😂) when I'm trying to be okay and I have often had to shut my mouth for a couple of seconds longer because I just want to scream and shout and rage and it's not anyone's fault what I'm feeling. It's got nothing to do with them why I'm angry.
They aren't just animals
If anyone says that they're JUST animals to you when you're falling apart and are broken after the loss of one of your Furbabies, here's the solution:
Crying is part of the healing process and it's okay to admit that you're not okay.
Remember the good times, and be at peace with the sad times
There is a continual temptation with our annoying heads as humans to replay the sad things and the bad things in life, rather than to focus on the beautiful and the positive. When you find yourself doing the negative-thing, you need to consciously remember the good times.
Being at peace with the sad times, what does that even mean? To me? It means that although there is pain, sadness and loss, I did what was right during that time. Your Furbaby should always come first and your needs / wants second. In their last days, right up until their last moments, they need you more than anything to be understanding and to focus on what they need above all else. They need you. By giving them all of you, you will be able to be at peace with the sad times. No matter how much the sad time hurts, your heart will be comforted that you were there when they needed you most.
When you receive their ashes back, it will devastate you all over again
There is a horrifying realization that the little miracle that was once the centre of your attention will one day not be there, and even worse, that they will be handed to you over the counter in a box. The horror of seeing that box (no matter how beautiful it is) will devastate you and will tear your heart to pieces across that little branded paw print.
Find comfort in the fact that your Baby has come home. I did.
I am thankful she is (physically) home with us, and that her little spirit is running free somewhere with my Granny and our other Furbabies who passed before her. One day when it's my time, they will all be waiting for me on the other side as well.
Prepare yourself for the time when you collect their ashes - give yourself time to do it. Driving a car when you're sobbing and can't catch you breath is not a good idea. Give yourself the time you need to sit there and cry until you can get the strength to go home safely.
But what I can say is that I'm doing a lot better than I was. In our family, after the loss of a Furbaby we have always looked out for the possibility of bringing a little bundle of joy into our lives.
For me, this time? It was different. I went out and started LOOKING for a baby.
You can only walk around like a zombie for so long, fighting the tears that are there, or sobbing continually. My Mom and Dad are an incredible support structure for me, and so is my Fiancé - however, as much as I love them more than anything in the world...when your heart is breaking every day with the loss, the only thing (for me) that can help is giving a home to a baby who needs it.
I started looking for a Baby who could share our home and be loved. This was last week which I posted on noise.cash about me trying to find a little rescue (second paragraph):
Anyway. I'm sure at some point I'll have a rant over the way they carry on and the truths behind SOME of the rescue places. But today is not that day - today is love, cuddles and positivity.
On Thursday last week I went to collect my baby boy, this little bundle of joy has helped me more than I could have imagined. As I type this right now, here he is, on my lap, being the sweetest little cuddle-bum in the world.
He slept all the way home on my lap in the car as I drove, the introduction with my Mom's Furbaby went so much better than we could all have imagined. He is fiercely protective of us, and our home, despite his tiny size 😂
Mom was very stressed about the introduction and worried about how he might respond to a family member being added. I was confident that it wouldn't be an issue because I believe there are very few circumstances where a meeting would be unsuccessful. Dad was going with the flow and trying to reassure us everything is okay, he's okay (more so telling that to himself as well 😂).
In 3 and a half days, the two have turned into brothers and play friends. Our older boy has a new lease on life, Mom and Dad's hearts are bursting with love, and I am able to give the love in my heart to a little baby who needs it.