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I've just got the update on my phone from a place called Eskom Se Push. There's a reason for that name which people who understand Afrikaans will understand and have a good laugh at. It's a play on words because there is a very crude word that can be used after "se" in Afrikaans when someone is angry and describing something they are angry about.
I was reading a post by @Usmanshoaib about the difference between rural and city life, here is a screenshot of our discussion on his post:
The above was written on the 7th...so here's the rest 😂
I hit 32 years on earth this year and I realized that my priorities have been really skewed. You know I used to focus on earning millions of dollars, being able to have so much money that I wouldn't need to worry about anything ever again. I was focussed on achieving financial wealth. I was focussed on getting to the UK to earn the "Great British Pounds" and to achieve what I (when I was a teenager) deemed as "success". I used to think money was success. It's not. Money means nothing because it can't feed your soul.
Whilst commenting on the above post I realised that the only things I need (and want) in my life are the basics...
Do you know what I would consider to be a luxurious life today? Sitting around a fire cooking our dinner on the fire while being under a starry night and the moon with my family. That's a luxury life to me. Being so far away from people that I just don't need anything anymore.
I watched the ghostly roads as I drove into work and imagined a world where if I woke up and there was nobody around but my family and I. I wondered and contemplated if I would miss anyone. Do I need human company? Sadly the answer is "no".
I don't have a social life, I don't want a social life. I watch my friends today suffer because of their social lives. They are continually trying to keep up with their friends and what they are doing.
My best friend has just had her daughter's birthday party and she had to go through a huge amount of expense to satisfy the luxury that everyone expected from her. I would hate to have to keep up with a social standard just so that my family and my daughter could be accepted into a circle. I love her to bits and I only want the best for her, she knows that what she is doing is so that she can be "accepted" because we've spoken about it - but she doesn't mind. She has such a good heart, but I don't understand the need for this weird type of acceptance. Maybe it's because I'm autistic, but I just feel like if you don't like me for me, then why are you my friend? Why should I have to prove my friendship to you by having loads of money? I don't know.
It's been a really long day and I'm catching up on this because it's been a really rough time. I'm sorry for not writing for a few days.
My Mom sent me this photo while I was at work and I wanted to leave. Then I reminded myself that this little boy (as well as my family and responsibilities) is the reason I go to work. I go to work to provide for us.
Thank you all for your support, the likes, comments, upvotes, and thank you to my awesome sponsors 💖
I had a beautiful positive start to my day with a detour to take a photo of this sunrise...
After work I went on a mission to find pallet wood, and I met the sweetest gentleman at the place. They do massive industrial pallet manufacture - yet he took time with me and my order. He helped load pieces of wood into my car and we spoke about the dream I have of the farm, and the cure for cancer. He ended up giving me a hug and he told me:
Your dream is coming, people like you are special.
He knew me for like 20 minutes. What makes me special? I don't know. I'm just me. What made him say that? I don't know, but I'm so thankful for the help he gave me because the pallet wood is really going to help us get a step ahead. Here's what it looks like...it was in the back of my very small car with my seats down 🤣
So after I got the pallets, I went on a hunt for a table saw. Then I found a jigsaw that could fulfil the function for much cheaper.
Do you know that the men in the power tool section refused to help me in any way because I was a lone female? I don't pull the sexist card (ever), I even wrote this post about how I'm sick of feminism and I'm a woman:
But these people just wouldn't help me, and all I was wanting was for them to tell me if they had a brand new in the box jigsaw of the power I wanted. That's it. Just because I have a vagina doesn't mean I don't know anything about power tools, it doesn't mean that I don't know how to use them. I am actually one of the most competent (yet unqualified) woodworkers around. I have used every type of tool for wood and steel work that's known to exist, and I know how to weld (to coded spec), BECAUSE OF MY WORK. Yet somehow, at this store, having a vagina made me incompetent to purchase equipment. Anyway, I walked out and told their manager (who was a woman) what I thought of her sexist staff.
Even if it's a sidestep. I had to take money from my crypto today in order to pay for the wood, the tools we need and the paint to make it sell.
But you know what? By the time the end of this year is through that money would have come back ten-fold. Our plants will sell. Our furniture will sell. And we will get to the farm to create the life saving cancer haven.
Despite the negativity of the end part of the day, I'm pushing forward, I'm positive.
I WILL MAKE THIS WORK, and I will help the cancer patients. I don't care how much blood, sweat and tears it takes.
I'm really sorry for the lack of postings daily, I will make sure I do better 🌺