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Pain is never permanent, but tonight it's killing me

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Avatar for Jinifer
Written by   141
1 month ago
Topics: Write, Anxiety, Pain, Self

You know that feeling when you keep telling other people to take a rest while you yourself can't even do what you've told other people to do? Isn't it ironic that we tell other people to take care of their mental health but we ourselves cannot even take care of ours? We're good at making other people happy, but we can't even make ourselves happy.

Has the thought of surrendering ever crossed your mind? If you do, then congratulations on surviving and still continue to keep on kicking. Honestly, the thought of surrendering has always come across my mind, but I was lucky because I was able to shut it off before it crawled all over my heart and brain. It's never been a solution, and will never be. It'll just worsen everything we've been through.


These past few weeks, I've been down. Maybe it's because I was too busy and loaded with work to the point that I couldn't take a rest. My sleeping routine has been ruined to the point that I can only have 3-4 hours of sleep. And I know that it really ruins my mental health, and not just that, but also my physical and emotional health. I've become unhealthy in the past few weeks. I've been telling myself that I'd be better but still couldn't. I could only be better for a day, then the next day I'd be back to being unhealthy again. 

What's worse is that I've been experiencing pain all over my body, like literally all over my body, every part of my body from head to toe. Last night, I experienced an extreme pain in my chest. It lasted for 20 minutes or something. I had difficulty breathing. I didn't want my family to see that I was in pain, so I just took a deep breath slowly, repeating it several times to help me relax. I honestly got panicked at first because my chest was so freaking hurt. It felt like I'd been stabbed in my chest. And thank goodness I calmed myself and the pain in my chest started to slowly fade away. 


"Pain is never permanent, but tonight it's killing me"

I took this from one of Neck Deep's songs, "December." 

This article is dedicated to a close friend of mine. 

She's a very close friend of mine, a jolly, humorous, and outgoing friend you'll ever have. She literally has everything you want in a girl. Beauty and brain, she has it all. But behind her lovely smile and laugh hides a darker side that keeps dragging her down. Who would have thought that the cheerful girl we know was the opposite inside? She cries in her sleep every night. She's silently dealing with her pain all by herself, without letting anyone know. Not a single member of her family knows what she's been dealing with every night in the middle of the night. 

It was bugging her every night to the point that she almost ended her life. Luckily, her parents found out about her and took her to a psychiatrist, who found out that she had anxiety disorder and depression. Her parents could not believe what their daughter was doing because they thought she was just doing fine. She always excels in school and always has her jolly and cheerful attitude.


We should all be mindful of whom we encounter every day and avoid judging them because we have no idea what they have been through. We all face different battles and challenges in life. We don't have the right to judge anyone just because of who they are. We should be aware of the words we speak to someone. We may find it funny, but for them, it hurts. Let's help each other fight anxiety and depression. 

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Author's Note:

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Avatar for Jinifer
Written by   141
1 month ago
Topics: Write, Anxiety, Pain, Self
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Comments

Not all people we see out there are actually okay. Some are trying to because they are battling with an issue in them. We should never judge them just because of how we see them from afar. This is why we need time to observe people and know how they are feeling and fairing. Many do not like talking about their problems because they feel they would be burdening them with their own issues. Let's mind our business. I hope you get better too

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1 month ago

The worst thing about depression is that it hides in plain site. Someone can be smiling and depressed at the same time, it hardly shows up on a person's face and behavior. Some people don't even know that they are depressed, they might just think they have a sad mood.

Please take very good care of your health and I recommend you take a day off from readcash, it will really help 😊

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1 month ago

I knew the feeling 🤣

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User's avatar Yen
1 month ago

It is said that the most cheerful and funny people bear the most pain and sadness inside them.... they understand pain so well and hence won't spread that to others but make others smile to see at least them smiling... it makes them happy... been there, doing that

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1 month ago

We should be careful to the people we encounter. Be careful with the words we say since we didn't know what's the real situation on that person. We don't know what they are been through deep inside.

Instead we should help. Always throw a positive words. I know it will help them a lot while we didn't know. Just be a hopeful for everybody. Always give inspirations and motivations in life.

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1 month ago

sakto gyud sis, dili gyud ta magpataka og storya sa ilaha kay wala ta kabalo unsa ilang problema, much better if e cheer up nato sila para at least to brighten up their day

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1 month ago

Mao gayud sis.. kay wala ta kabalo daghan sila gikimkim na problema. Mas maayo kung mga positive words ato always ipangshare..

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1 month ago

Pagaling ka marecakes mag rest kanarin ng maaga 7 to 8hrs na tulog ganon, then may heartburn ka yata huwag ka muna kumain ng pancit cantos at kapi yung mag kaka acid ka. Yan lang alam ko pero better kapag mag papacheck up ka para may mainom ka na gamot.

I hope maging okay na kaibigan mo. Naintidihan ko siya ang hirap kasi mag open up ka sa iba kasi hindi mo alam kung ano ang tingin nila sayo kaya mas pinipili nalang sarilihin lahat. Hays, kaya dapat maging brave nalang talaga at piliing huwga manaig mga negative thoughts at mag pray para at the end of the day palagi kang mananaig dahil kasama mo si Lord. 💖

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1 month ago

uu mare, heartburn ata to sabi ng kuya ko, ganon din kasi siya minsan eh. Salamat mare :>

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1 month ago

It really is ironic how we can't apply our advice to ourselves. It's best to talk to others and be with those who will uplift you and understand.

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1 month ago

thank you so much kuya lee :> kahi papano i still have a precious din namn who's willing to listen to my nonsense rants at ka dramahan haha

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1 month ago

Ganyan naman talaga, ang daling mag advice sa iba pero sa mismong sarili natin ni hindi maeapplu kasi hirap din talaga "Easy Said than Done" yeah. Mahirap din yong sinasarili lang lahat ng problema kaya mas maiging maglabas ka ng sama ng loob sa family. Wag sanang mahiya or if di kaya then try sa stranger.

By the way, may kaboses yang singer ng Neck Deep. Banda din na favorite ko 🤔diko lang maaalala tae ahaha

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1 month ago

I always prefer telling it to strangerss ate eh, para wlang judgment, pero kahit papano I still have friends din naman na willing making as ka dramahan ko haahaha.

yung sa Mayday Parade ba ate? hahha ka boses ng vocalist ng Neck Deep?

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1 month ago

I feel you, sis. I am feeling the same way as you. I pray for us, sis. We'll get better soon. Pagaling ka.

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1 month ago

Pag mahuman nako ani tanan nakong work mars, mag pahuway nagyud kog maayo para maka relax sad ba, ma bawi ang kuwang nga tulog. Slamat mars!

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1 month ago

Yes you should never judge a book by its cover, you don't know what is going on inside. I hope you get your sleeping back and no more pain as well.

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1 month ago

thank you so much kuya ed :>

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1 month ago

You are very welcome

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1 month ago

I hope that you will be able to rest and feel better soon. Please do not hesitate to ask for help sould you need it.

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1 month ago

salamat bi, I still have friends to talk to naman if I need someone to talk to

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1 month ago

I pray you get well as soon as possible take good care of your self and free your mind from every anxiety, the ultimate is that you create time to rest and you will see that it will reflect in you physical appearance. have a nice day dear.

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1 month ago

If I will finally be done with my works, I will surely take the rest that I need to. thanks man for passing by

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1 month ago

I admire your strength and that of your friend. We all go through struggles of our own and sometimes we just have to risk others breaking into our real world. Who knows if it's for the better. Keep pushing on Jinifer, get some drugs for that pain chest tho. You never know.

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1 month ago

I take some medications too whenever I'm not feeling well, thanks doc for passing by :>

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1 month ago

I feel it with my heart. Seriously, it touched me.

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1 month ago

thanks lucy

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1 month ago

yep. there are times that those people who have the brightest smile are the lonely ones. i hope she can get through it.

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1 month ago

she's getting better na ate, thank you :)

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1 month ago

It seems that we are connected. Check my last article, you will be surprised. I hope you get better and do not spend more for a moment like that.

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1 month ago

thanks man :>

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1 month ago