Thank You Read.cash, I Found A Friend In You
Dealing with "what-ifs" and "could have beens"? How often do you find yourself thinking of what happened yesterday? Does the future frighten you of what possibilities it can bring you? Are you stuck dealing with those thoughts and you find it hard to find your way back to reality?
Living in the present can be very challenging. There are events in our lives that left a painful mark on our hearts that we can't just let go of them for possible reasons. The future can bring us so much anxiety as well because we're afraid of how we are going to manage everything. Just thinking of the possible situations drives me to hell. Oh well, I'm being negative again.
But, the thing here is that intrusive thoughts could go out of control if left unchecked. My point here is to acknowledge that in our lives, it just really happens. Negativity comes at you in no time and it's our choice to make how to get away with them.
I had a heart-to-heart conversation with @wrabbiter last Monday about how much of an impact we shared in our lives and I got emotional because I have realized so many things alongside this friendship built. Pursuing music is the main purpose of this collaboration and we have gone through a lot of struggles along the way already.
It's about choosing to continue each day even if you don't feel like doing it anymore because of certain factors. A lot of "what-ifs" and "could have beens" linger in our minds losing our motivations in a snap. But then, this is what he always tells me, and it really shaped my character on how to handle negativity, "it is only a state of mind".
When something bothers you, especially if you are bound to make a crucial decision but you are in that zone where you think things don't make sense anymore? Think about the journey you went through and how big you sacrificed to make things possible to where you are right now and the possible effect it brings you in the future if you do. That certainly helps.
I have never voiced out to someone how I really felt about the tragedy I made in my life 3 years ago. I always tell myself that I should be fine, you survived and you are here given a second chance again to live. When that happened, I became aloof to people. I shared what happened to those I felt safe with but only through chats.
The conversation last day was real and I admit, a huge weight was taken out from my heart and it felt so great. I don't really talk a lot. I bottle up my emotions and it's not good. To have someone like him reassures me that he's there for me. I realized that "diay no, lonely man diay kaayo ko sakong life." Wala koy friends. Nobody is checking up on me.
As someone who is introverted, I don't really socialize a lot and it's rare for me to have someone whom I can share my feelings with. I chose to stay away from them because I'm afraid of their judgments. I'm afraid of how they'll react to what I did and so I lost the chance of sharing what truly my emotions were when I was dealing with mental struggles.
Regret haunts me every day. The scars remind me of what I did. I'm still dealing with it, somehow I can say that I have managed through the pain by saying that this is my redemption. I still have a purpose to fulfill and with @wrabbiter on my side, we know it'll be grand. We are slowly making things into reality now.
You know, it was late for me to realize and acknowledge that I have been lonely lately in my life. I thought I was fine, but I was drowning with insecurities.
To Read.cash, you are the best platform I have stumbled upon to! I will always be grateful for the time when I was scrolling through Facebook looking for a way to earn money. I'm thankful for the choice I made of signing up even though I don't have an idea of what Bitcoin Cash is.
You are not just an online earning platform but you became a part of how a genuine friendship started. We don't know how long you'll be here with us, but I hope you'll stay longer than we expect. Please 🙏
Thanks for reading.
Keep safe everyone!
Happy to meet you here sis and this platform are now part of me.