Should I Take The Blame?

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3 years ago

So it's already 8:33 in the evening and I've been thinking about what article to write. I thought about this for 2 hours already after dinner. Then I remember what happened to me 5 days ago. It was one of the most traumatic experiences I have ever had.

It was Friday, around 7 am when I was heading to an apartelle to meet a friend with whom I agreed to have breakfast together before he travels back home and take the bus.

I was wearing a sweatshirt because it's still pretty cold and shorts. I'm not really fond of wearing jogging pants because I find them uncomfortable. So as I was walking, I heard a motorcycle heading towards me from my back. I felt that it's getting closer and it stopped beside me.

The next thing I know, I felt a force touching my left boob and I was not able to react nor defend myself from it. It happened so fast. He drifted fastly. I couldn't move, it felt like I was paralyzed for a few seconds.

All I remember was he was wearing a helmet, his motorcycle was black, he was wearing a dark suit, and he actually had the guts to look at me after sexually assaulting me. It's too late when I realize I have to take note of the motorcycle's plate number.

I told my friend about what happened. He suggested me to report it to the police but I shrugged it off. I was aware that there have been cases reported like this lately in the city, but I never thought it could happen to me. For goodness sake, it's 7 in the morning!

That leaves me to ponder that you're not safe anywhere. The moment you step out of your residence, you are already at risk. Even inside our houses, we are in danger. There are too many cases of rapes, assaults, abuse, harassment that happen at home when it's supposed to be your safe place.

What bothers me the most is that I did not report it to the authorities right away. What holds me back is because I'm scared and I'm not fond of getting attention from other people.

However, chances are, that guy will still be doing his business assaulting more girls which I feel like I'm responsible for. Last night and earlier, I prayed for him to realize the wrongdoing he did. Karma is a bitch.

You can never be complacent. Always be mindful of the surroundings and bring something with you like pepper spray or something sharp as your weapon.


The next day, grandma told me to buy some fish at the market and I can't help myself thinking about the danger I might face once I stepped out on our residence. It made me feel so anxious that I doubt every guy I come across as a pervert or someone who will do something bad to me.

I went to the market very anxious and calculated with my actions. I managed to get home safely but this experience hit me so hard. It gave me the reason to buy pepper spray and some emergency tools in case my life will be in danger once again, God forbid!


Should I take the blame?

If I was not wearing shorts that time, will it happen to me? Would things turn out differently if I did not go outside and just took my breakfast with my family?

If I was wearing pants that time, will I still get harassed?

The thing here is that, if you are really a pervert guy, then wear the crown and enjoy that title. Don't play as the victim blaming the girls because of what they are wearing. It is a matter of choice and control.

That is why you cannot also blame the girls to hate men because you are also giving us the reason why. Too bad, there are innocent guys out there who take the blame also because they're being generalized.

It happened to me, it can happen to you too so protect yourself always and don't trust anyone right away. You can never be complacent.

Lead image source


Thanks for reading.

Keep safe everyone ❤

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Comments

May nabalita dito last month gnyan din gnawa sa babae, kuwari ngtanong sa girl ng direction kaso yun na pala ginawa. Pero nanlaban yung babae tnry nyang hilahin yung lalake kaso nakaladkad sya. Tsk di mo deserve yan sis, hindi mo kasalanan yun, kahit naka Saya kaman , o kahit anong suot mo di mo kasalanan sdyang may mga manyak lng talaga na tao at yun ansarap bugbugin.

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3 years ago

Hayop talaga yang mga lalaki na ganyan oy. Kmusta ang girl sis? Kaya nakakatakot lumabas eh. Aside sa covid risk, manyak is everywhere rin 🤦‍♀️

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3 years ago

Nagkasugat2 sis, nakaladkad kasi, nakita din sa cctv yung nangyari kaya inalerto yung mga tanod dun. umagang umaga din yun eh. Kaya nga, kahit mga manyak anlalakas na ng loob magmanyak tsk,

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3 years ago

Wlang pinipiling oras. Kapas umandar manyak mode, naghahanap na. 😬

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3 years ago

maka trauma gyud na nga experience ay, pero it's not your fault man ate and will never be your fault. bisag grabi pa natong cover sa atong lawas, pag manyak ang lalake mag minanyak gyud na sila

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3 years ago

Mao lage. Pareho jud mog comment tanan dri. I appreciate your words of comfort. 🥺

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3 years ago

Hala ka gurl.. Makaugot lage nang nahitabo nimo.. But it's not about not wearing pants..naa jud mga bastos na tawo daghan na sila karon panahona.. Amping na lang..

By the way what's your fb name kay wala nako makita imong message 😅

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3 years ago

That took me to conclude that men are trash. Hahahaha. Stereotypical kaau 😆

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3 years ago

Hindi mo kasalanan yon. Kapag maniac tlga lalaki e maniac tlga hahaha. Naranasan ko nadin Yan medyo ilang beses na hahaha.

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User's avatar Yen
3 years ago

And it's just so sad na nanonormalize ang ganitong situation and we just have to live with it. This needs to change 🥺

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3 years ago

It is not your fault either you putting on pants or shorts that’s not enough reason to be touched. If he was chanced he could rape you. Nothing justifies the fact that he assaulted you so do not blame yourself. Try as much as possible not to think about it, you can talk to people if you feel uncomfortable. Take care🥰

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3 years ago

Thank you for reaching out and you telling me this. I'm just glad that it didn't reach to that point. God stayed with me. 🙏

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3 years ago

IT IS NEVER your fault. It shouldn't matter if you were walking butnaked through the streets! Nobody should ever touch another person unless there is clear consent. (like shake hands, friendly meetings at birthdays and such, but even then: consent) This goes for Men, Women and everything in between. You don't want to be touched, you don't get touched. Never blame yourself! And please don't blame all men for assholes like these. Hope you can come to terms with it and move on soon.

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3 years ago

Thank you so much for these words of comfort. I doubted myself for it to happen 🥺

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3 years ago

It's not your fault ma'am. Kasalanan yan ng mga lalaking walang ibang laman ang utak kundi kalaswaan. I also experienced like that. Kahit nakapantalon at t-shirt pa ako nun. May mga tao talagang manyakis.

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3 years ago

Sobra talaga no? Kaya maraming man hater eh kase sila rin nagpapatunay na assholes sila. Mga perverts 😑

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3 years ago

Sa pinas lng ganyan . dto kht ilantad pa ang katawan sa sexy clothes waley lng.. Dami lng cguro pervert sa pinas . nkakahiya 🤣

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3 years ago

Juskooo. Nakakahiya nga. Daming cases ng assualts or rape sa country eh.

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3 years ago

Its not your fault. If the guy is pervert, kahit balutin mo pa katawan mo ng tela they still harrass you. Blame them not you

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3 years ago

Haaaay, thank you so much. Nag doubt ako sa sarili and I thought what if ganito ganyan 🥺

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3 years ago

These are things you can't avoid. Perverts are everywhere. And it's not that you dress one way or the other. It's that they are sick and see potential victims everywhere. You just have to be there at the time and place for them to satiate their perversion. You can't hide. Live life and be aware of your surroundings.

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3 years ago

Thanks my friend. That's why I decided to buy self-defense weapons like pepper spray to somehow protect me from those perverts. 🥺 by the way, thanks for the sponsorship.

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3 years ago

Ok.

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3 years ago