When it comes to love, are you hopeless romantic? Are you the type of person who has constant hope of living their fantasies in love? Do you have standards to check on someone? Or you are just waiting for love to happen and be open to whatever love has offered in front of you?
Regardless of what it is, what's best for love? Do you find it or just wait for it? This topic somehow talks about fate versus will.
Love is an emotion that drives you to do something for it. It takes action to let the person feel what your intentions are.
If you are someone who looks for love but finds it difficult, here are the possible reasons why love doesn't happen even if you feel that you're almost there:
Commitment is a huge sacrifice for you.
I mean, commitment is such a big thing. It just means to say that you will share your life with the person you'll have a relationship with and for that, you fear that everything will change.
Perhaps, change or adjustments of schedules will happen of course because you will invest time to be with them. You invest emotion and energy towards that person. If you find these things challenging then it's going to be hard to find love.
Especially in our generation today where dating has become modernized by which you face uncertainties and are afraid of labels.
Not open to making efforts.
Have you ever been so in love with the feeling of being in love? You really want to know how it feels to be in love but when you're at that moment, you turned your back against the person because you're afraid to compromise and meet him/her halfway?
Since it is already modern dating, it's so easy to find someone from afar behind your phone. You talk every day, you have built connections, you are slowly getting to know each other, and you both discover things what she/he likes or hates.
You've been talking for a while now and you start asking, where is this going? Are you both ready to make an effort and see each other? To see if there's a specific wavelength you both share. But then you find yourself scared of taking a step forward.
How can you find love if you're not willing to make an effort? We can never be so sure but at least you tried, right?
Trust issues.
When you're surrounded by people who had failed relationships or broken marriages, it leads to trust issues about love. More so, if you had experienced it yourself. I cannot blame you for that because no one knows how deep that wound is but I hope in time, you give yourself that freedom to be happy and give yourself a chance to feel in love again.
Too high standards.
It's never wrong to set ideals for someone with whom you want to spend the rest of your life. External forces like watching vlogs from successful couples or Kdramas have set the standards high for love.
It's more of my future lover "should be like this and that" rather than accepting for who he/she really is. It's not about you are settling for less though, it just means that you are willing to compromise and you choose not to change the person because they're not how you wanted them to be.
You are losing your chance of meeting the right person too because you are too busy looking for your standards when that person has something to offer that could have changed your perception about love. Someone who will make you feel what love truly is.
In my case, I believe that love found me. During my early adulthood, I was not looking for love. My main mindset was just to work and provide for the needs of my family. My intentions were clear. I had specific goals that I thought I'll never compromise for something that is not my priority.
Just as I thought, I met someone who changed my perceptions of love and in life in general. It just happened. I never met someone so sincere, kind-hearted, trustworthy, respectful, understanding, family-oriented, and mature like him.
So here we are going strong for 4 years this coming December 11. I hope and pray for us to stay committed to whatever circumstances we may face.
When you stop looking for love, that's when you meet the right person for you.
But, it is still on a case-to-case basis. It's just a matter of what works best for you.
Thanks for reading.
Keep safe everyone! ❤
Trust is like a glass that once it breaks, you can never fix it. I can relate to the trust issue tho.