@Jason 31 January 2022

推特上面有人發現了家中一本古老的星座書，西元1979年出版，內容實在太毒蛇太多髒話了，閱讀前請小心，確認安全以後再點擊show more解鎖完整內容 圖片來源： https://twitter.com/julador/status/1277807921594851333?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw #星座 #負能量 #Horoscopes 水瓶座 （1 月 20 日 - 2 月 18 日）你有一個創新的頭腦，並且傾向於進步。你撒了很多謊。你反覆犯同樣的錯誤，因為你是個笨蛋。每個人都認為你是個混蛋。 雙魚座 （2 月 19 日 - 3 月 20 日）你有一個生動的想像力，並且經常認為你被FBI或CIA 跟踪。你對你的朋友沒有影響力，人們會因為你炫耀你的力量而怨恨你。你缺乏自信，通常是個白癡。 白羊座 （3 月 21 日 - 4 月 19 日）你是先鋒類型，並認為大多數人都是白痴。你脾氣暴躁，不耐煩並且蔑視建議。你是個爛人。 金牛座 （4 月 20 日 - 5 月 20 日）你務實且堅持不懈。你已經下定決心要像地獄一樣工作。大多數人認為你很固執，而且很牛。你什麼都不是，只是個該死的共產主義者。 雙子座 （5 月 21 日 - 6 月 20 日）你是一個敏捷而聰明的思考者，人們喜歡你是因為你是雙性戀。你傾向於期望太少。這意味著你是一個廉價的混蛋/婊子。 巨蟹座 （6 月 21 日 - 7 月 22 日）你很同情並理解其他人的問題，這讓你很傻。你總是把事情推遲。這就是為什麼你將永遠享受福利並且一文不值的原因。監獄裡的每個人都是巨蟹座。 獅子 （7 月 23 日 - 8 月 22 日）您認為自己是天生的領導者。其他人認為你是個白痴。大多數獅子座都是惡霸。你很虛榮，不能容忍誠實的批評。你的傲慢令人作嘔。獅子座的人是小偷和混蛋，他們大部分時間都在親吻鏡子。 處女座 （8 月 23 日 - 9 月 22 日）你是邏輯型，討厭不和諧。這種挑剔的行為讓你的朋友感到噁心。你情緒低落，經常在做愛的時候睡著了。處女座是優秀的公共汽車司機和 皮 條 客 。 天秤座 （9 月 23 日 - 10 月 21 日）你是藝術型的，很難面對現實。如果你是男性，你就是零。大多數天秤座女性都是妓女。所有天秤座都死於性病。 天蠍座 （10 月 23 日 - 11 月 21 日）E LOT 中最糟糕的。你是精明的商業，不能被信任。由於您完全缺乏道德，您將達到成功的頂峰。你是個完美的混蛋。宿主天蠍座是兇手.. 射手座 （11 月 22 日 - 12 月 21 日）你很樂觀，很熱情。你有依賴運氣的魯莽傾向，因為你沒有天賦。大多數射手座都是酒鬼。活在世上根本是浪費時間。 摩羯座 （12 月 22 日 - 1 月 19 日）你是保守派，害怕承擔風險，你基本上是個小雞。摩羯座從來沒有任何重要性。你應該自殺。 ENGLISH VERSION AQUARIUS (JAN 20 - FEB 18) YOU HAVE AN INVENTIVE MIND AND ARE INCLINED TO BE PROGRESSIVE. YOU LIE A GREAT DEAL. YOU MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES REPEATEDLY BECAUSE YOU'RE STUPID. EVERYONE THINKS YOU'RE A FUCKING JERK. PISCES (FEB 19 - MAR 20) YOU HAVE A VIVID IMAGINATION AND OFTEN THINK YOU ARE FOLLOWED BY THE FBI OR CIA. YOU HAVE NO INFLUENCE ON YOUR FRIENDS AND PEOPLE RESENT YOU FOR FLAUNTING YOUR POWER. YOU LACK CONFIDENCE AND ARE GENERALLY A DIPSHIT. ARIES (MAR 21 - APR 19) YOU ARE THE PIONEER TYPE AND THINK THAT MOST PEOPLE ARE DICKHEADS. YOU ARE QUICK TEMPERED, IMPATIENT AND SCORNFUL OF ADVICE. YOU ARE A PRICK. TAURUS (APR 20 - MAY 20) YOU ARE PRACTICAL AND PERSISTENT. YOU HAVE DOGGED DETERMINATION TO WORK LIKE HELL. MOST PEOPLE THINK YOU ARE STUBBORN AND BULL-HEADED. YOUR NOTHING BUT & DAM COMMUNIST. GEMINI (MAY 21 - JUNE 20) YOU ARE A QUICK AND INTELLIGIT THINKER, PEOPLE LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE BI-SEXUAL. YOU ARE INCLINED TO EXPECT TOO MUCH FOR TOO LITTLE. THIS MEANS YOU ARE A CHEAP BASTARD/BITCH. CANCER (JUNE 21 - JULY 22) YOU ARE SYMPATHETIC AND UNDERSTANDING OF OTHER PEOPLE'S PROBLEMS, WHICH MAKES YOU A SUCKER. YOU ARE ALWAYS PUTTING THINGS OFF. THAT IS WHY YOU WILL ALWAYS BE ON WELFARE AND WON'T BE WORTH A SHIT. EVERYBODY IN PRISON IS A CANCER. LEO (JULY 23 - AUG 22) YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF A BORN LEADER. OTHERS THINK YOU ARE AN IDIOT. MOST LEOS ARE BULLIES. YOU ARE VAIN AND CAN'T TOLERATE HONEST CIRITCISM. YOUR ARROGANCE IS DISGUSTING. LEO PEOPLE ARE THIEVING AND MOTHER FUCKERS AND SPEND MOST OF THEIR TIME KISSING MIRRORS. VIRGO (AUG 23 - SEPT 22) YOU ARE THE LOGICAL TYPE AND HATE DISCORD. THIS SHIT-PICKING IS SICKENING TO YOUR FRIENDS. YOU'RE UNEMOTIONAL AND OFTEN FALL ASLEEP WHILE FUCKING. VIRGOS ARE GOOD BUS DRIVERS AND P I M P S. LIBRA (SEPT 23 - OCT 21) YOU ARE THE ARTISTIC TYPE AND HAVE A DIFFICULT TIME WITH REALITY. IF YOU ARE MALE, YOU ARE NIL. MOST LIBRA WOMEN ARE WHORES. ALL LIBRAS DIE OF VENEREAL DISEASE. SCORPIO (OCT 23 - NOV 21) THE WORST OF E LOT. YOU ARE SHREWD IN BUSINESS AND CAN'T BE TRUSTED. YOU SHALL ACHIEVE THE PINNACLE OF SUCCESS BECAUSE OF YOUR TOTAL LACK OF ETHICS. YOU ARE A PERFECT SON-OF-A-BITCH. HOST SCORPIOS ARE MURDERERS.. SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22 - DEC 21) YOU ARE OPTIMISTIC AND ENTHUSIASTIC. YOU HAVE RECKLESS TENDENCY TO RELY ON LUCK SINCE YOU HAVE NO TALENT. THE MAJORITY OF SAGITTARIANS ARE DRUNKS. NIXON IS A SAGITTARIAN. YOU ARE NOT WORTH THE TIME OF DAY. CAPRICORN (DEC 22 - JAN 19) YOU ARE CONSERVATIVE AND AFRAID OF TAKING RISKS YOU ARE BASICALLY A CHICKENSHIT. THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A CAPRICORN ANY IMPORTANCE. YOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF. 後記： 花了一大堆時間打字修正，剛剛才發現這篇是2020年的東西，沒想到2022年的昨天竟然有人拿來當成新聞，最蠢的是我，還花時間打字，直接轉貼笑一笑就好了 Orz 不過學到一些英文罵人的單字，算是有收穫（X