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Am I Good Enough? (A Self-Reflection)

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Avatar for Jane
Written by   1170
1 week ago

June 11, 2021

I was raised to be a good child by my mother and despite my father's iron fist, I've learned how to filter good from bad and never been influenced by his harsh words and actions. My mind matured at a young age. I'm always afraid to do bad things and even to try things out of curiosity that might make the corpse talk, although I did some when I was a kid.

If you will ask the people in my hometown, who is Jane?

Perhaps, they will answer:

Jane doesn't talk that much.

Jane doesn't go out often.

Jane doesn't socialize with others.

Jane is an introverted person.

But Jane is kind and being respected by others because she only does what is right.

Ever since I was a child, I am always taking cautious about my actions. Because I don't like people talking negatively against my works, my words, my actions. I always mind what other people will say, and make sure that everything is fine and running smoothly.

But we can't control other people's minds. They have mouths that will talk if they want to. They have minds that will judge if they want to.

And even if I take it with a grain of salt, it's just too tough to remove them from my mind, it's because every word and feedback matters.

I used to mind what people will say about me, but they are minding my smallest mistake.

Even if I just drop a fork, they will call me weak.

I just utter a word, they will throw a sentence.

I just speak my mind, they will speak their mouths.

Am I Good Enough?

And sometimes it's too hard to move around in this perilous world because of other people's minds. It seems like I live in other people's heads and it makes me so uncomfortable in my own body.

It makes me feel anxious and extremely cautious, and think that I am not good enough. That's why I chose to be alone, so people won't see my mistakes, so people won't judge my flaws, to take myself out from living in other people's heads.

But if I am introverted in my real world, I am totally different in my digital world.

I thought I can find a perfect place inside this world where I can totally be comfortable in my own skin without being judged by others. I thought I can find a place here where I can express my thoughts and opinions freely.

I am totally different from my real self.

I interact with others more often.

I talk frankly because I don't like sugar coating.

I share my daily life without minding what other people will react to it.

I express my thoughts, emotions, and opinions because I thought I won't be judged. I thought there's nothing wrong with sharing my opinion about something, about someone.

But the more I express myself, the more I am being judged. The more I become real, the more people call me fake.

But things I am sure about:

I don't consider myself successful as I am still a noob in this world.

I'm not a cosplayer as I am just trying to show who I am.

I don't have a big head as I even find it small, small to absorb everything in this world.

And I always keep my feet on the ground but not all can see it, not all can feel it.

I talk frankly but I'm not brave enough to express myself directly to someone, to something.

Although I know I am wrong at times, but I always try to reflect on myself and make things right.

But some people will only look at my mistakes even how much I tried to change.

So what's the point of correcting things if people still look at your mistakes of the past?

What's the sense of proving yourself if people will only listen to their own thoughts?

And what's the point of expressing your opinion if other people will only look at it negatively?

It can't be called opinion if we will only express the other side - either the bad or good side.

Am I good enough?

But as I reflect on myself, I've realized that I am a bad person. Not thinking about the consequences before taking any actions. I am not good enough.

I hurt other people's feelings through my posts.

I talk about other people at their back through my posts.

Someone even told me that the purpose is good, but the approach is bad.

I am being judged because of being ME.

But maybe I deserve to be judge, to be backstabbed, and to be hurt. Maybe I deserve to get their painful feedback.

Or maybe I just need to learn how to ignore what other people will think about me. Maybe I just need to learn not to mind their words, their opinions, their actions against me. Or maybe I just need to be insensitive, in a good way and respond positively. Or maybe I just need to detach myself from toxic people, because I myself is toxic sometimes. Adding fuel to the fire will make things explode.

Or maybe I just need to respond to constructive criticism positively and don't mind other people's shoes.

This is just a random article expressing my thoughts and emotions and not referring directly to a certain person, but to anyone who thinks and will think negatively against my words and actions, maybe you need to think as well if you are doing good or bad.

Strangers come into our life with a purpose.

The good ones will give us happiness.

The bad ones will give us experiences.

The worst ones will give us lessons.

And the best ones will give us memories.

Whatever your purpose in my life, whatever our purpose in other people's lives, one thing is for sure, they come and go but the experiences with them give us lessons, remind us to reflect on ourselves, and teach us the right things to do.

Feel free to drop your thoughts and opinions below, whether it is bad or good, because opinion is an opinion, and there is nothing wrong with that. It is up to the people on how they will handle the situation, the criticism, the feedback, the consequences.

I have reflected on myself, admitted my mistakes. Have you reflected on yourself too? Maybe now is the time, because we are not perfect, we are only humans, and we do commit mistakes unawarely.

Through self-reflection, it allows us to look neutrally at our actions, thoughts, feelings, and emotions. It allows us to realize our mistakes. Because sometimes, we tend to close one window of our life to ignore what is happening around us. We become unaware of the things we do and the output of our actions.

But as we reflect on ourselves and learn from our mistakes, it leads us to positivity, growth, and happiness.

Now it's your time to reflect on yourself!

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Avatar for Jane
Written by   1170
1 week ago
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Comments

No matter how good or bad we are people will always have their own opinion of us. Surely there are people that will look at us and judge us with mistakes of the past or even what they heard about us. The best thing to do is to ignore the noise and focus on being good.

$ 0.00
1 week ago

I say, do what you think is right, but pause to consider the consequences. Same as in speaking. If we utter certain words, what happens? And if we don't, will the world turn upside down?

$ 0.05
1 week ago

So better shut the mouth snd don't say anything..

$ 0.02
1 week ago

It's not that easy, when we need to express ourselves. LOL

$ 0.00
1 week ago

Sometimes we express it on the way, but sometimes we are being judged again. . we don't know where to place ourselves. 😅 so the best way is to ignore them..

$ 0.00
1 week ago

I am always frank and I know it's not a good habit..I'm controlling it now for rge sake of people around..I don't praise people just because i need to. isay what i want to say but with caution now.

I answered this on your post in NC that I'm the worst but you gain lessons.

God Bless maam😊😊

$ 0.05
1 week ago

Better be worst than fake. Atleast we leaned lessons from them 😁 i can be worst at times.. It depends on the person I am interacting with

$ 0.00
1 week ago

In my side, I always think that I'm not good at all aspects that's why my parents and friends keep telling me why I'm very negative thinker or pessimistic person. I'm not confident to all things and I keep on discouraging myself to others. That type of me was a change due to dissapointment feedback from other person. After hearing some negative feedbacks I decided to discourage myself first before the others will to me. In that way I feel better and easy to accept peoples criticism. And less the hurt feel.hihih

$ 0.05
1 week ago

The only person who can love ourselves is ourselves.. So you should not discourage yourself.. Instead, make those negative feedback as inspiration to change for good. And prove those people that they are wrong, that you can be better..

$ 0.00
1 week ago

There's one I can really vouch for based on my personal experiences - that it is freeing when you start to NOT mind what other people think of you, of what you do or say. Never mind if they judge you, talk about you, stab you at the back, or whatever, as long as you know in your heart and soul that you're not trampling others along your way. People will talk no matter what you do, so might as well do what makes you happy :)

On the other hand, it's also important to evaluate our selves and our actions (as you mentioned, self-reflection) not to impress others but to better ourselves.

$ 0.05
1 week ago

True.. And from now on I don't care what others will say anymore.. People always have something to say and we can't control them.. But if someone tries to make things right and they don't accept it and still continue to talk at your back. I guess it's not our fault anymore.. There is always room for changes as well as forgiveness..

$ 0.00
1 week ago

This is what i learned in dealing with that scenario. Whatever they said, whatever they do as long as you know what you are doing the hell with them. You are not born in this life to please them. And pleasing anybody won't do you good. So just be yourself and enjoy life.

$ 0.05
1 week ago

True. We are not born to please anyone. So bahala na sla sa buhay nla.. Ibackstack kung ibackstab... Bsta wala akong ginagawang masama sa knla..

$ 0.00
1 week ago

I'm an introverted person as well and people start calling me KJ(kill joy) for not attending occassions with crowd ,friends, relatives and many more but I'm just avoiding their toxicity. For someone like me that had a bad past , I'm sure that in their minds I'm being judge . I still attend occassions but with real people not a fake one. But after I had the harderst set backs in my life, I don't care what people might think about me anymore , they may give their opinions but they cannot dictate what will I do. JUST BE REAL AND REAL PEOPLE WILL LOVE AND VALUE YOU.

$ 0.05
1 week ago

I rather go with the real ones than listen to pretenders... And we should just value those who value us for real.

$ 0.00
1 week ago

You're just fine, the only advice i can give u po is mdyo bwas-bwasan lng po ung pgpuna po sa ibng tao po, ung iba mkakaintindi n pgsasabihan po kau dhil tnturing po kaung kaibigan n naiintindihan po un kng bkit dhil first time lng po sa buhay nya ang gnung bgay o sa gnung larangan po though at the same time ndi po maiwasang mshock o mgdamdam but then again, ndi po mgndang mgtnim po ng glit sa kapwa n ms mainam po na sa personal o kau-kau lng po ang ng-uusap at ndi na po pnpaalam online o sa ibng way po, all of us po's entitled to his or her opinion po pro dpat po pinag-iisipan din po ung mga cnsbi po, ang knomment q lng po d2 eh base po sa experienced q po sa pgwowork po sa hotel for almost 13 years n hlos lhat po dun eh naencounter o naexperience q po personally

$ 0.45
1 week ago

Hindi ako nagtatanim ng galit. 😅 And opinion is opinion.. Nsa tao yun kung panu nya ihahandle ang criticism.. It's part of this world.. Although sometimes it's bad. But it helps us grow.. And helps us realize who is really true to you.. Who will remain and who will go.. The one who will remain is willing to forgive and accept your flaws.. The ones who will go will just prove that they don't really like you.. Or for some reasons..

$ 0.00
1 week ago

Lol, i get n understand what u r trying to say, miss jane, thank u po pla sa upvote n no comment na po, lol, already said what i need to say po so tma na po un kc mgsusulat po aq ng article q po ngaun eh, lol

$ 0.00
1 week ago

At sa receive mong criticism.. Use that for yourself to grow.. And when I express my apology to someone, I mean it.. And I hope you will accept it..

$ 0.00
1 week ago

Oh, lol, ala na po un, miss jane, wag nyo na pong isipin, k lng po un, lol, salamat po sa mga ng-upvote po ng comment q po d2 po, God bless po :)

$ 0.00
1 week ago

And this article is not meant for you.. Kundi sa iba na nagtatanim ng masama sakin..

$ 0.00
1 week ago

Oh, gnun po ba, lol, k po :)

$ 0.00
1 week ago

Jane and my personality is like same introvert here doesn't like to talk too much or free with anyone and also each and every thing is in myself also what a coincidence

$ 0.05
1 week ago

We are many here. Many introverted coz we don't want the toxic world. But even digital world is toxic as well 🤣

$ 0.00
1 week ago

We can't really make everyone happy. People who talk behind you, are behind for a reason. You are ahead of them 😊

$ 0.03
1 week ago

Indeed

$ 0.00
1 week ago

Loosen up! Thats what I usually tell myself years before when Im so uptight trying to be pleasing for others, I always think what others might have to say or not. Anyways, the Bible Colossians 3:23 taught me that our life is not to please men but God alone. So, enough of people pleasing and lip service, be good because this is pleasing to God.

$ 0.05
1 week ago

I guess I should take that in mind. I have done my part. If it's not enough for them.. Then let the time heal everything

$ 0.00
1 week ago

Yes. Don't exploit yourself trying to be good for other people, because we are never enough for them, we always have lack. And you will end up frustrating yourself. Be good to people who appreciates your worth on the things that you can afford doing coz those people will bring out the best of you. God bless, Jane!

$ 0.00
1 week ago

I already read your childhood story I can guess how much and tough conditions you have seen in your life. It is life good and bad things are all part of life. Why I asked the people of your side when I know how generous and kind mind you have. Dear!you should ignore the people who spread negativity and give love to those who deserve. In your Question,"Am I good enough". My answer with no hesitation is, "Yes, you are good enough my dear"

$ 0.05
1 week ago

No I'm not..coz I'm a sinner too

$ 0.00
1 week ago

In point of view po, I always say, "I am worthless" "I can't do the right thing" .. sorts of negative vibe keep on surrounding me because I keep on thinking that way. I always overthink, but soon I came to realized that I should look forward and opened-up my mind to see the real beauty of the other side of the picture. I should embraced what and who I am regardless of how others might look at me.

As a piece of advice, I would say, "JUST BE WHO YOU REALLY ARE!" You are the one should carry yourself and just don't mind what other people see and say to you, as long as you are happy with that and not harming them.

Just live your life as you wanted. As what my professor said, " YOU ARE THE MASTER OF YOURSELF!"

God Bless po sa inyo😇

$ 0.05
1 week ago

Captain of my ship, a master of my soul... This is too meaningful.. And yes, let's just be who you are... And not think of what other people will say..

$ 0.00
1 week ago

For me.. Ito ang aking masasabi tungkol sa akong sarili hindi po ako yung taong nagtatanim ng galit kasi ang nasa isip ko ang panginoon nga hindi nagtatanim ng galit sa mga tao kahit na ito ay sobra ng makasalanan, isa akong mahiyaing tao isa akong madamdamin na tao pero hindi ako yung taong pinapakita kong dinadamdam ko ang mga masasakit na salita galing sa ibang tao lumaki din ako na takot sa mga taong mapang husga sa lahat ng lugar ay hindi maiiwasan na may ganyang tao kahit na wala kang ginagawang mali pag uusapan at pag iisipan ka ng mali ..sabi mo nga po lahat tayo ay may sariling opinion at lahat ng tayo ay nag kakamali. Tama ka po dahil wala naman isinilang ang panginoon na perpekto, unang labas palang naten sa ating sinapupunan ay makasalanan na tayo at hindi perpekto, may ganyan akong naging kaibigan kaklase ko po siya hanggang ngayon ay kaibigan ko padin siya dati takot siyang lumabas nasa loob lang siya ng bahay dahil siya ay may kapintasan iniisip niya kapag lumabas siya pipintasan siya kung ano ano ang mga sasabihin ng mga tao sa paligid niya. Isinilang po siyang maliit na tao kung tatawagin ay pandak .. Kaya ako naisip ko lagi ko siyang sinamahan at pinalakas ang loob na kahit ano man ang sabihin ng ibang tao wag mong pakinggan ang isipin lang ay nasat tama ka at alam namin sa sarili namin na wala kaming ginagawang masama .😊

$ 0.05
1 week ago

That person is blessed to have you.. Ma pandak man sya tao parn namanky hndi dapat tratuhin ng ganyan..

$ 0.00
1 week ago

I think either we are good or bad, we are always judged by people who are around us, who are just there to notice our each and every little thing. And you are right in this sense, that in competing with all this judgement, we become introverts. Though this judgement gives us confidence of it is in positive vibes but mostly the judgements are negative, to make the person feel inferior or something else as we all experience it....but the only solution to it is that we should stay away from the ones, who are always ready to hate us. But yes we all find some people who accept us with our flaws. But i think people should stop doing all these things because there are so many people who can't survive along with all those negativities.

$ 0.05
1 week ago

And some indeed up doing bad things on themselves especially those who can't handle the situation. But we really can't avoid thode kind of people even when we are at home.. So better ignore them..

$ 0.00
1 week ago

Yes because there are some people who always wants to interfere with others matters and always consider it so important.

$ 0.00
1 week ago

Of course you're good enough to reflect on yourself which others really don't do.. just e yourself ksi whatever we do, meron at merong sasabihin ang tao khit very cautious tau. What's important is wla taung inaapakan

$ 0.05
1 week ago

Am not sure if naapakan ko sla .. Pro wala naman ata..nahurt through my words.. Pro kahit magsorry may sasabihin parin ang iba..ganun na tlga ang mundo. Yung hndi mawawalan ng issue

$ 0.00
1 week ago

But maybe I deserve to be judge, to be backstabbed, and to be hurt. Maybe I deserve to get their painful feedback.

You don't deserve to be judged or to be hurt No one deserves it especially when you are just showing who you really are but it's human nature and we hardly avoid it. We commit mistakes and correcting it is a good thing to do and if they still judge you after that, then it's already their fault. Maybe accepting the fact that we can please everyone is important para masabi nting we are good enough 😅 kaya lang same tayo especially when I was younger, sobrang iniisip ko lahat ng mga posibleng pangit na sasabihin nila sa bawat galaw ko

$ 0.05
1 week ago

"We commit mistakes and correcting it is a good thing to do and if they still judge you after that, then it's already their fault."

Exactly.. It's their fault already when they still see negative in your every word and action after that.. As long as you have done your part, they have to do their part as well. It's not only me who needs self-reflection here, they also need it

$ 0.00
1 week ago

Tama. Daming kasing nagpapanggap perfect dito sa mundong ibabaw 😅

$ 0.00
1 week ago

Lol.. Kahit yung mga handmade machines hindi ma perfect perfect.laging my bugs 🤣

$ 0.00
1 week ago

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

$ 0.00
1 week ago

Good going Jane, you must not let your life be defined by the opinions and views of others. If do that you will stall, you will never make progress.

$ 0.00
1 week ago

"But the more I express myself, the more I am being judged. The more I become real, the more people call me fake."

Relatable, ppl always tend to talk whatever you do. I also talk frankly most especially when other ppl are being mean to others. But, I'm trying to become more kind with my words without sugar coating it because ppl have different level of sensitivity. I now always try to give constructive criticism and filtering my words because sometimes my friends told me my words are being mean, even tho i just want to make things straight.

But then what important is we learn and adjust ourselves not for other but for ourselves.

$ 0.05
1 week ago

Exactly.. Sometimes other people will think negatively against your honesty. But if we have hurt others, they should as well accept the fact that they have hurt you too.. And it's not only you who needs self-reflection but them as well.. We all committed mistakes and we should admit it. And try to change and let go.. Lessons are always there at the end..

$ 0.00
1 week ago

Ahh i love this, adjustment should be done by both parties, like di namn pwede na ako at ako nalang nakakrealize ng mistakes ko pero other ppl ay hindi hays

$ 0.00
1 week ago

Exactly should be done by both parties. Hndi yung ikaw lng... Kc may ginawa dn naman slang mali. Hindi lng ikaw.. King hndi nla maamin yun.. Then it's not your fault anymore... Nsa knla ang problema

$ 0.00
1 week ago