I will tell you about something that happened to my mother.
One day, I was talking to my mother about someone I knew, who was homosexual. Her immediate reaction was nausea. I was immediately annoyed by her reaction. She walked away from the conversation.
I brought up that topic again in a few days. I asked her, "What if I like women? What if I am a homosexual?". She got even angrier. Never saw her like this. She stood up and walked away. She came back in a few minutes and she told me, "please don't talk like that again. It's disgusting. You are so spoiled watching movies".
I felt bad but I did not let go.
I took that subject again for a few days and asked her,
"What if I did that? What if I was really a person interested in women and I had no control over it? Very biological. How can you be annoyed about your own child? It's okay if my friends don't understand me. It's okay if my relatives don't understand me. It's okay if my brother doesn't understand me. It's okay even if my father doesn't understand me. But, I want you to understand me and stand by me. I want you to support me even the whole The world is against me. But, your reactions are different. And looking at your reaction, I am thankful that I am not like that for the truth. To have a disgusted mother of your own is not the best feeling in the world! "
I said that and walked away.
She feels bad. I could see she was feeling bad.
I brought up that topic again, next time. And this time, she sat down with me and talked about it. She did not give that disgusting reaction, she did not go away. She listened to me.
I talked to her more about it. I have featured many news articles about violence against homosexual people. I told her how hard it was to be your life, just because of your sexuality. That’s also because of something we have no control over.
I told her this:
“Mom, maybe in your time, things are different. Perhaps many people do not even realize that they have a choice and decide to live their life that way. Perhaps many people feel filled with their sexuality but they are forced to do things they do not like. But with increased mobility, exposure, knowledge and visibility - people can live their lives as they please. This is not a favor you do to them. It is not a favor for you to let your child live their life in their own way. This is a fundamental right. Do not do this as a favor and expect your children to be grateful forever. In my case, there were a million other things my father gave me, and I am grateful for that. But living my life my way is not one of them ”
I brought up this topic and many other topics like this, over and over again. It is not fair to be angry or aggressive with them. They come from a completely different generation. Some parents have limited exposure to what is happening around the world.
I always say to my mother pleasantry, “Mom, do you know where the world is going? The whole world is fighting for same-sex marriage and here we are, fighting even to marry one from another sex, just because they are from another caste! "
I used to be angry or just ignore having such discussions with my parents, until a few years ago. One mistake we all make - just avoiding those conversations.
But, when I became an adult, I realized my responsibility to teach them and have such discussions with them. Even if it is not comfortable for them, or myself.
They are your parents, they will listen to you. All you need is a little patience. A friend of mine also does the same with her parents, and trust me, it helps. It also helps you not to get angry with them and better understand them.
Sit with them. Have a healthy discussion. Listen to their point of view and explain your point of view. I’m not saying that will work wonders right away. But, they said that "Dripping water releases a rock, not by force, but by persuasion"!
So, why not?
Are you homosexual? Just asking