Dark-Empty Nothingness

There are times when I feel like everything’s going smooth, then comes the rough road. I’d dance as the birds sing, but the crows would give me that eerie look as if they are telling me I don’t deserve the bliss. My family is a mixture of hot and cold. Perfect it is not but good enough to make me feel loved. Therefore, the reason of the anguish is not them. I have a lot of circles. All are undeniably big. Not just multiple pairs of ears that listen, but also sets of shoulders on I can lean on. The reason is still not them. Loads of paper works, sleepless nights, empty stomach— the burdens studying brings but still tolerable. At first I thought I wouldn’t survive each passing day but soon found out school is really cool. The pressure the deadlines bring eventually gives me a feeling of satisfaction. Still, the reason is not this. Not until when I stared at my reflection in the mirror and reality hit me; it’s me. The problem is here inside my head, singing out aloud. The lyrics are not so clear as if composed in greek. I want to jump and take a slide on the rainbow but it tells me to just stand and let the rain kiss my skin. Voices are simultaneously whispering, are they my friends? I don’t recognize. They stop me from doing things I love and make me do things I don’t. And what’s worst— they want me to dive into that dark-empty nothingness. And oh, by the way, I am scared of darkness.