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I will be ME again

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Avatar for Irene1
Written by   87
4 months ago

Do you Believe in ghost or demons? You may think these creepy things are childish and nonsense things to believe but I do believe in these things. I do believe demons and ghost exist, they are living with us next by our side.

When I was just a mere kid, I accustomed to believe in demons, ghosts, fairies, mermaids even now. I even told my mother that 'A huge hairy monster is dweeling under my bed. I can't sleep. I can't take all these things anymore. This monster is constantly making me fragile & weak by sending me nightmares each and every night as a cursed gift as if I'm a cursed princes like Aurora.'

No one believed me even my parents. They thought I am lying that time . They thought I am making up some fantasies just to please my hungry brain. I could prove my words but I didn't with the help of my sick mind and body.

I believe as we got older the monsters crept from under our bed to inside our heads but My mom used to tell me that there are no monsters under my bed. Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, months turned into years when I realized I am totally agreed with what my mom said to me and I'm really grateful towards her but I do hate her for not warning me and telling me that sometimes demons sleep inside our head instead of sleeping under our bed in the form of anxiety, stress, worry, anger, expectations, you heard it right often our extra expectations can acts like demons they can hurt us, they can tear us apart, they can destruct us badly and sometimes monsters came into our life dressed as people who claim to love us and announce their impure, filthy love for us more than our parents, more than our own selves.

I have met innumerable monsters in my life and now it seems that I'm becoming one of them day by day by swallowing all the negetive energy and posion like words. Now, I want to stop this process. Now, I want to breathe the fresh air again. I want to tell myself it's okay to become a demon though I was worried that time but I just chose to feed the good soul of mine and every I kept believing that every demon has a cure so I have to wait patiently for that magic like cure to happen for me. I want to live again in this beautiful world because it's never too late to live again Happily. I just want all my secrets back. I don't want anyone to know everything about me and every side of mine. My thoughts are trying to tangling me and I don't want to die. I just want to sleep peacefully just for once.

Sometimes you can surrounded by people and still you can feel lonely. Sometimes you can surrounded by happiness and still not feel happy ___ this is totally okay.

Our life is so short but it carries a ocean of feelings and emotions and it seems I'm drowning in this fiery ocean created by me and no one can't save me from dying.

It seems I'm living in a crystal clear huge bubble from where I can see everything easily but I can't feel or smell or touch. It seems I'm a slave of my emotions. It seems I can't keep the eternal fire of mine burning inside me because now it seems I'm out of fuel.

In my past, I was alone though I used to afraid to be alone but one-day after a lot I won against my fears and became more strong than ever. When everyone left me one by one until now I had not always been that strong but I decided to build up my weak soul strongly. Not everything that is faces can be changed and nothing can be changed until it is faced.

My father once told me that 'If you dream something then Dreams can true' but I think he forget to add and mention that 'Nightmares are dreams too.'

Tonight I'm nothing but a floating dreamer. I'm floating hither and thither. I'm going to up, up and up , I don't want to stop.

Am I making any sense? I think NO. I don't want to make any sense tonight. I just want to put all my worries, sorrows, creepy thoughts down. I can't hold them anymore, I'm exhausted. I wish some nights can stay forever , I don't want to lose this night anymore, I don't want to lose this opportunity anymore, I don't want to lose this ME anymore. I just want to grab this night and hold for the rest of my life.

I want to say everything tonight but sigh!! I can't. I know, Nothing can hunt us like the things which we don't utter. I'm unable to bind all my thoughts. Maybe my words are not making any sense tonight but I hope & believe it will make sense someday. I want to forgive my self I was then tonight and want to say 'It was not your fault for trusting everyone and sharing all your secrets with all.'

I want to put an end here ...

_______________________

I hope you all are doing great and enjoying this wonderful day to the fullest. I assume and believe you all are fit and fine both mentally and physically.

Thank you sooo much for being here with me. Thank you sooo much my lovely readers, co-writers, commentators, upvoters, subscribers and Rusty.

Wishing all of you a sweet and wonderful night.

Irene 6.58pm 07.01.2022 Lead Image source :— Pixabay.com

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Written by   87
4 months ago
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Comments

I learned something from your post sis. When we invite worries, anxieties and depression in our lives it creates us a monster, we become one of them. So when I feel it, there is something to remind me.

$ 0.01
4 months ago

It's my pleasure Sis. Often, demons comes in our life dressed as our anxiety , worries, stress. So instead of runny away from them, we need to face them with a brave heart and a courageous soul. If we can do this then we can conquer anything.

$ 0.00
4 months ago

Of course I believed in ghost and demons even I didnt see them in person but we actually scared with humans coz they can really hurt us. Thats the reality.

$ 0.01
4 months ago

I do believe in ghosts, but I think humans are more dangerous and worst than ghosts that's why we need stop be more careful and wise.

$ 0.00
4 months ago

So be smart to avoid that situation. Lots of bad people sorround us.

$ 0.00
4 months ago

As we grow older, I have realized also that monsters don't live under the bed. Because most of the time, they areliving inside our head. Let's always find ways to shake negative and unpleasant things from my mind.

$ 0.01
4 months ago

Our worries, negetivity, bad intentions, makes us demons , so let's take small step am kill these demons.

$ 0.00
4 months ago