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2 years ago

December 19, 2021. No. 101

If one day suddenly, without warning, you found out that your best friend had betrayed your trust, what would you do?

This question will surely be asked yourself on more than one occasion, and if you are unlucky enough to have experienced it firsthand, then surely you have already acted accordingly. Friendship for me is something sacred, which is not changed or modified by anything in the world.

Let's imagine various scenarios where your soul mate could betray your trust at very high levels, even if it is enough for him to do so at the basic level.

Steals your partner

This is one of the worst of all and without a doubt one of the most common. Also, it is the most painful. First of all, you lose the friendship you dreamed you had. Second, you lose the supposed love of your life. But it's better this way, bad things are nipped in the bud, and if he is screwing around with nothing more and nothing less than with your best friend, then they both have little common sense. This has never happened to me, and I would not like to be in the shoes of anyone who has to go through it. A painful experience that will leave you vulnerable for a long time, with no one even to talk to about the subject. If you lost your love and your friend in the same second.

Speak ill of you behind your back

It is a common good. Many times you think that this person supports you at all times. You are in error, only true friends are capable of always maintaining good judgment about you with others. Few friends say: "I do not allow you to speak ill of my friend in my presence, please, do not do it anymore." This is being a true friend. Everything else is just an illusion. Ahead of you, they are all joy and when they turn around, all the hatred, resentment, and envy that they could have towards you is activated. This has happened to me, and it has not been easy to assimilate this situation. But grateful to be able to realize and completely eliminate that false friend from my life.

Tell others your most intimate secrets

Not to think about the repercussions that this could bring to everyone. Imagine that the person to whom you have entrusted everything in life ends up shouting all those secrets from the rooftops. It would have a huge impact on you. You would feel that everyone is looking at you in passing and that your life is no longer yours. Someone playing god has spread everything about you. Without thinking about the consequences of your actions, you are now the main center of all. It is undoubtedly the worst of all. Privacy is something sacred, something that is not played with, it is something personal.

For all this there is a remedy, pain is not eternal. You must analyze everything that happened and the circumstances in which that friend betrayed you. Shock is the first thing that will come to you. That state where you will feel shocked and without finding an explanation for why he did this to you. You should not be hard on yourself, much less hold a grudge against him. Just try to forget everything as soon as possible. For this, lean on other friends, there is always someone real who is willing to understand you and genuinely listen to you. Accept the situation as it was, always taking your time. The wounds in the end will end up healing.

Human beings build friendships slowly, with a lot of time in between. It takes years to trust a person fully. Your most intimate secrets are something that is earned with time and perseverance. So if someone comes into your life, trying to get that trust in a hurry, you should distrust it. In the end, it will not lead to anything good.

You will know if he is a good friend when he is present at all times. In good and bad. If he only shows up when things are festive and disappears completely off the face of the earth, when things get murky, then he doesn't deserve your friendship.

If that friend keeps criticizing you and sees nothing else in you other than mistakes, then don't listen to them anymore. Getaway as soon as possible. It is good that friends help us to grow, to improve, but we always use a negative criterion. They do it because they are precisely the negatives, they do not suit you, period. These people are rather pessimistic and try to compensate you for everything that they lack.

If by any chance you are the one who in one way or another has betrayed a friend (perhaps unintentionally or did something for their good), it only remains to ask for forgiveness with your heart in hand and be patient. Explain why you did it and what your reasons were. Tell him that you had no choice but to make that decision for his own good. There are moments in life when people have to define themselves, and by doing this, you show that you are more friends with him than anyone else. Admitting your mistake, and trying to change, will make him see regret in you, and sooner or later he will end up accepting you back into his life. But you have to be patient. Betrayal in friendship is the most painful of all, so it takes a long time to recover from it.

Do you know that the Philippines suffered a super typhoon these days? Compared to a Category 4 hurricane. Our friends @Eybyoung and @bmjc98 are raising whatever help you can offer for some users who lost everything. You can go through these two articles if you wish. Thanks!

Writing For A Cause: Helping The Affected AxieBCH Scholars Of Typhoon...

Helping AxieBCH Scholars Who Are Affected By Typhoon Odette!

Thanks for reading me today.

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2 years ago

Comments

At times like this I really don't know what I would do especially if it is a close friend. It has happened before and I regretted how it ended. That's why I try to control my emotions.

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2 years ago

I would never ever forgive her for that. My motto is simple. No mercy for betrayers.

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2 years ago

Friends Speaking ill of you behind your back, It will always come out, someone will tell you. Ignore it unless it an acsertation that you have behaved illegally (then challenge the rumours) otherwise ignore it , as the lovely Michelle Obama said “they go low- you go high” . People who spread malcontent are toxic and you don’t need them in your life, behave as you see is right and move on.

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2 years ago

Regeardig the first scenario. I lost my love that way. She was "stolen" in front of my nose. Not by my friend, but I know that person. My thought is on this issue is you end up blaming both the guy and your partner. First of all it should not happen at all, second if it happends your partner can be blamed too. If she goes, it means she does not really love you so why waste any more time with her.

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2 years ago

Difficult what you have to live. I imagine the pain you felt at that precise moment. But in the end, when you reconsider, it is better this way, than spending your entire life with someone who does not deserve you.

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2 years ago

Life can be really unexpected, one moment things are going well and the next your best friend collects your girlfriend. In such situation I wouldn't do anything but such actions already proves that he was never my best friend from the beginning.

Nothing would be done but trust in humans will forever be destroyed.

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2 years ago

I haven't experience thia really, or maybe I did I just didn't discover it. But today, I only have virtual friend, I will still choose 1 friend over a dozen.

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2 years ago

Some times virtual friends are better 😃

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2 years ago

Being betrayed by the most trusted friend is severely bad. That is why people say men cannot be trusted. Anything can happen anytime

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2 years ago

Indeed. It is difficult to trust someone today because of these same issues.

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2 years ago

Staying away from toxic friendships and relationships pays a lot. You don’t have to wait till you are betrayed, we will definitely see the red flags coming. I use to expect the worst from everything so I don’t get shocked when I’m betrayed because I know we are human, and we can’t avoid mistakes. Like my mom would say, there’s nothing friends can do for you! I held on to that for a while till I got to the university. I discovered there are lot of things friends can do for you and it’s either good or bad. My mom may not have been lucky in her days. Besides we all have been a bad guy too in some friendships. Have it in my mind that there are good and bad friends out there. So pick wisely!

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2 years ago

Thanks my friend 😊 🙏

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2 years ago

If ever these happened to me, I don't know what can I do with my friend. I don't want anyone who betrayed nor stab at my back. I don't actually need fake one. Maybe I can forgive him/her but I don't know how long does it takes. The trust is what he/she broke and it can't be fix by just saying "sorry".

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2 years ago

You're right. A single word is sometimes not enough. Actions are needed and still it is difficult.

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2 years ago

Actually ive been experience been betrayed with a friend but after that were not friends at all. Thats why I choosed the trusted persons.

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2 years ago

Im sorry my friend. ☹️

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2 years ago

That is why I only had one bestfriend and all where just friends or let us say acquintance. It doesn't matter having one bestfriend. At least she is real.

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2 years ago

So true my friend. 🙏 😊

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2 years ago

Truly there are friends with those things and I ask my self why a close friend will choose to do that.. if I was in that place I don’t think I can come over that, if you say you are good friend then I think you must have those characteristics… I’m praying for everyone affected, it’s not easy but I hope they get the strength to overcome

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2 years ago

Some people just exist without caring about anything else. So when the time comes, they just betray you, period.

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2 years ago

Exactly… I’ve been there and I could relate to this.. it’s so bad even when you call someone close

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2 years ago

Friends fake lead me to my rare and true friends which I have now.

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2 years ago

Once a friend betray me once, it’s hard to trust such again. It takes a long time before i can call someone my friend but it takes a little thing to lose such friendship.

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2 years ago

Imagine, a betrayal is never easy to forgive. There are always sequels and the damage is irreparable. Maybe time will be able to reward something, but the damage remains there

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2 years ago

The first scenario is very common more than there. To me, it would easier to tolerate as i would defintely get ovwr him. But i dont think i would ever forgive him backbiting me or telling others my secrets.

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2 years ago

You couldn't forgive him. He would have no possible justification for doing what he did.

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2 years ago

But you have to analyze the criticism if they are genuine and constructive then one should make use of them and change his or her way.

But if the criticism arise from jealousy or envy that person isn't worthy of being called a friend any longer.

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2 years ago

Thanks my friend for stopping by 😊

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2 years ago

"If that friend keeps criticizing you and sees nothing else in you other than mistakes, then don't listen to them anymore. "

They can't be called friends anymore...better thing to do is to don't mind them

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2 years ago

Turn the page and move on.

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2 years ago

never happened to me yet and I don't want to experience it... and i don't want to say anything about the situation since i haven't experienced it yet... will just cross the bridge when i get there...

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2 years ago

Hopefully you never have to go through that, it's terrible

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2 years ago

If someone were to betray my trust like that, I probably won't do anything about it, but I'll never trust that person again

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2 years ago

You have rigth my friend.

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2 years ago

Unfortunately, I have been sorrounded all my life by fakes and back stabbers... sucks

and The typhoon pics made me so sad

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2 years ago

Fakes friends are in everywhere. Just keep looking for the rigth one. 🙏 Indeed, those pics are really terrible

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2 years ago