Why Do We Always Tell I'm Okay Lies?

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2 years ago

It's so ironic that when we feel tired, hurt, in pain, stress, depressed and any bad feelings we always wanted to be asked “How are you?” but what's more ironic is that we always answer it with “I'm Okay.”

This lie is rampant to all of us I think, we don't casually talk about our problems or what we are going through randomly. Before we spit it out to someone we weigh it or think about many times if we are going to spill the beans or not.


Reasons behind I'm okay lies

There are several reasons why a person does not easily spill the beans from random people when they asked: “How are you?” I will jot down reasons here based on observations and my experiences as well.

To avoid worrying loved ones

If a loved one asked us how are we doing, we think about it many times if we should tell them if we are going to tell what we are going through. The probable reason is to avoid letting them worry about us.

Our loved ones will be worried and felt sad about us if we are having hard times, it will only add burdens to us more knowing they are also hurt because you are hurt. It's like it's better to suffer alone than to let our loved ones worried about us too much.

To avoid being judged

People have a different approach to certain situations, we have different ways of thinking and how we accept and analyze things. So when random people or acquaintances ask us how are we doing, we will just lie telling them we are okay even if it's not to avoid being judged.

There are people instead of listening to a person who gives constructive criticism and is destructive instead of sympathetic Receiving constructive and destructive criticism if you are in a bad state does not help at all, instead,d it will add more pressure and complications to our thinking so we will end up saying we are okay just to avoid this kind of situation.

To avoid being the gossip topic

Some people show fake concern to us and will ask how are we doing, but deep inside they only want to know if we are doing good or not.

If we are suffering they'll rejoice silently and gossip about us, that is why sometimes instead of sharing our down times we tend to keep it secret just to avoid being the gossip topic in town.

To avoid many questions

If we tend to share what we are going through, it's normal that the person you talk with will ask for further details about the situation. Some asked to analyse things just so they can plot some solutions to our problems, while some just wanted more information about our sufferings.

Instead of sharing, we tend to make lies that we are okay just to avoid countless questions that will give us more headaches explaining details in detail.

To avoid any advice that it's easier said than done

Advises are good but sometimes we don't want advice, because we are aware of what to do and what's not with our situation, but we just need to release every bad feeling we have, what we need is someone willing to listen with our drama. Only listen and does not need to give their opinions and advice.

Sometimes we tend to say “I am fine” because we will hear unlimited advice that is easier said than done. Also hearing redundant advice will give us thinking that we were like an idiot who doesn't understand anything at all because we need to be reminded repeatedly.


Endnotes:

I got this idea to write after reading @Yen article although her article talks about different topics, I find it interesting to write about her last question to be answered which is “What was your most recent lie?” and she answered a gif of “I'm okay.” You can read her article, My most recent lie.

Until next time, thank you for reading.

September 12, 2021

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2 years ago

Comments

I have a slightly different take on why we do this. When someone asks the question they are not actually looking for an answer. It's just a cordial formality that we have become accustomed to. There is actually a joke around that. "What if you actually told someone how you were? Would they ever ask the question again?" The answer is probably not. lol

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2 years ago

Ah yes for random people but for closer ones I think it has different approach as well as to why we say that and why they ask.

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2 years ago

True. We say we're okay though we're not because we don't want our loved ones to worry at tsaka para narin umiwas sa ibang questions. Pag kasi di mo sinabing okay ka, sunod2 na yung questions na itatanong sayo.

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2 years ago

Tama unlimited questions na haha kaya maigi pa sabihin okay na lang para wala na maraming tanong

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2 years ago

Korek hahaha baka kasi may masabi kang iba ,😁

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2 years ago

Saken, I say I'm okay to avoid to many questions. If I am in pain, I don't want to talk about that pain or what causes that pain as much as possible. So I lie and just tell them I'm OKAY to avoid too many questions they might ask.

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2 years ago

Yeah, that's what I am doing too sometimes, to avoid many questions hihi nakakapagod din kasi lagi mag explain para lang maintindihan tayo.

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2 years ago

korek sis. tapos bumabalik lang lalo yung pain pag aalalahanin mo..kaya hanggat maari eh umiiwas ako sa conversation kapag hindi ako OKAy.

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2 years ago

It is because nakakapagod na po mag salita and we know na same thing lang din ang sasabihin Nila satin. Thought alam ko pong "okay lang" ang isssagot Nila sakinn I still ask people around me when I feel they're not okay just to make them feel someone is concern on them. Then gonna follow it with, "I'm here if you needed someone, call me"

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2 years ago

Oh that's so kind of you, yes dapat ganon lang. Wag na marami tanong kasi nakakapagod din talaga mag explain nang bas feelings hehe.

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2 years ago

Lahat on point . Yung pagod kanadin magpaliwanag saka ijudge haha. Kaya lagi nalang tayong okay.

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User's avatar Yen
2 years ago

Kaya mas lalo kalang din ma stress kapag pinangalandakan natin na di tayo ok kasi daming intriga

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2 years ago

Those are the most common reasons why we tend to say we're okay when we really are not. Personally, I also think that by saying those words, I will really feel okay although it doesn't happen most of the time :)

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2 years ago

Yeah, sometimes we really have to say it to convince our self a little to be okay for real even tho most of the time it doesn't work.

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2 years ago

Yes, true...

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2 years ago

Di ko alam kung bakit "I'm okay" lang lagi kong sagot sa lahat kahit hindi naman talaga. Heheh. Yoko kasi ng ako rin maging dahilan para magalala sila o magalit eh. Hhaha.

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2 years ago

Same here, mahirap din kasi dami natin kailangan e consider.

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2 years ago

Though it's okay not to be okay, Minsan ang hirap pa ring ipakita sa iba na di tayo okay. Gawa nga jan sa mga reason na sinabi mo. Mas prefer ko pa nga mag labas ng sama ng loob sa stranger ee huehue

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2 years ago

Oo nga mas okay pa mag share sa strangers talaga at least sila di nila tayo huhusgahan at walang unlimited questions.

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2 years ago

Agree ako lahat sis. Minsan pag nag-aaway kami ng partner ko, tapos medyo nag low na, tatanungin niya ako na okay na ba ako. Kahit hindi pa ako okay, sasabihin ko na lang na okay para iwas more away.😁

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2 years ago

Ah yes, this is applicable to couple as well. My parents if they have quarrel they just act as if nothing happened after dropping the fight, no more asking if they are okay or not kasi it will bring other tension and awkward moments again.

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2 years ago

This is precise, sometimes we tend to be silent keep telling I'm okay even if it's very obvious that we are not because it's just too tiring explaining things to others just to be understood..

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2 years ago

Yes, po nakakapagod din mag explain lalo na kahit ilang beses kana nag explain pag iba pick up nila di parin talaga maintindihan.

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2 years ago