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I am the type of person who dreams for my family to have a better life. My siblings to be educated and be able to go wherever they want without the baggage of problems that we have in the family.
I want to just have all the worries while they get to enjoy all the luxuries and happiness life could offer.
Selfless? Maybe yes, maybe no. What we have been through was not easy I am just lucky enough that my uncle was there to support me in College so I was able to graduate and I am way too grateful with him.
My moms brother is a Captain. He is a seaman but he don't usually go home to see his parents. For some reason he is quite aloof with his family could be because he grew up away from them. He did his best to get to where he is now and had to be a working student. One day he went home to visit my Lola and Lolo. He asked me, are you willing to study college?
I never hesitated to answer YES! Of course who wouldn't? Just that by those times my parents couldn't afford. Even when I told them I would be a working student or I will apply for a scholar still they told me I better apply as a maid so I could help them out. I was so depressed but I just lost my father and my mom was still looking for a job by that time to support us.
My uncle then offered to give me an allowance and he will also shoulder my tuition fee. He made mention that he would also be the one to provide for my projects, anything related to school. No other condition but just to graduate! Wow!
I vowed to do my best and cried because of too much happiness. When I graduated high school I received a scholarship from the government. My tuition fee for college was FREE!
But then, I have never thought that it is not as easy as what I have imagined. The money that I will be receiving weekly and all the things I needed will not go directly to me of which I understood because money matters are not so simple but I would have to get it through my mom and her brothers cousin. Technically, she is my Aunt.
My Aunt is said to be closed to my Uncle as he lived to my Aunts parents and worked there as well. I was pretty fine. They were rich that every week I go there makes me feel nervous. I would usually have a cold feet everytime I stamped to their very clean and white tiles and sit in to their sofa.
It was never easy for me. She sometimes would tell me I have to go back the day after tomorrow because she forgot that I would have to get my allowance that day. I am also asked to get my grandparents allowance which was also given every week.
Everytime I went home and told my grandparents I wasn't able to bring any penny and I am asked to go back the next day I get scolded because we got nothing to buy for food. All day long til the day I get to receive the money they would scold me for not doing my best to get their money from my Aunt. My mom would just stay silent because we are living in their house and she is afraid my grandparents would disown us or would ask us to leave. We got nowhere to go. My mom just got hired as a Janitor by that time.
It is always been like that. Every week felt like hell but it did not stop me from achieving my goals and my promise to my Uncle. I WILL GRADUATE!
And so I did! I was able to graduate. May not be with flying colors because I was removed in the deans list due to submitting projects way too late and not joining extra curricular activities but still I have graduated! Wohoo! And finally I was able to get away from my Aunts painful rant every week. For some reason, she would tell me that we are lazy to not work and depend on my uncle too much that is why we are poor.
I only cry my heart out and keep it to myself. Nobody knew about it til just recently when I open up to my family. My Uncle's offer also caused envious to my moms other siblings which made our life more miserable especially when my grandpa and grandma died.
Despite all these struggles I have managed to look for a job without anyone knowing. I got hired in the company that I am still connected right now just a few days after I graduated. I then started to plan saving for my brother future.
My brother planned to take up Nautical course which is related to seamanship or whatever they call it. It was a pretty expensive course. I would have to make sure I get to pay for 35 thousand or more per semester that is like 70 thousand pesos per year or so excluding the books and projects. I was able to get through it for the first 3 years but with during the last semester before my brother could graduate I had to ask help of from my uncle at least just for that last tuition fee because I was full of debt supporting my familys basic needs, my siblings school fees and everything and I wanted to make sure he can experience his GRADUATION. It is once in a lifetime. The school won't allow him to attend his graduation without paying his remaining balance in full.
That day was one of the best days in my life. It was such a great day for us. All of those people who mocked at us were so envious when we pass by them with my brother wearing his all white uniform and a toga on his other hand.
We never wanted those people to feel that way. We only wanted to have a better and peaceful life.
The good karma is, when my brother started his apprenticeship and received some allowance he would never forget to share it to me. He would save for his training and told me he dream to be able to get hired on an International Company so he could give me more and with that we could also send our two other siblings to college.
I never expected him to think about me or our family as I always told him to live life to the fullest but my brother won't bite that. He wanted to also help the best way he can.
And that is when I realized I am lucky, I am blessed. Before it is hard to even believe that because I have been through a lot at a young age but now vision is a lot clearer. I also learned to have my own goals and not just to focus too much with my family. It is way a lot better now. Though we still struggle especially with this pandemic and my mom lose her job, my brother is now looking for another company so basically back to square one but I get to learn now on how to appreciate lil things and be grateful still with what we have.
Thank you much for reading my article! It is nice to share these things. I hope you get to learn from this.