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Some of our pasts aren't bygone.

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Avatar for George_Dee
Written by   294
4 months ago

I had something different in mind for today's article but I came across a story that made me change my article. I love to talk to people a lot and some neighbors at the farm are fond of sharing true life experiences with me just for talking sake and some tell things to seek advice. I still really don't know why people feel very comfortable sharing their stories with me, I find it very cool because I learn from their stories as well.

What is in the past is indeed in the past but the past is not a bygone as many of us have claimed because the things we did in the past can reoccur in the future, this made me concluded that there are some things from the past that must never be forgotten no matter how comfortable or how bad things get for us.


A man caught his wife with something that has to do with betraying trust in their relationship, they have been together for some time now. He was careful with details because he was holding back some information but it doesn't really matter since I understood everything he was trying to explain to me.

It wasn't the first time she was doing such a thing, they have quarreled over it times without number, argued on different occasions before but along the line, he stopped paying attention to it hoping that she would change but he was wrong. All this while, he thought it was over but she was been smart about how she does the same old habit of hers.

What made him sad was the fact she wouldn't learn from how the repercussion of the things she did in past almost ruined their relationship which he didn't take to heart and he feels like she didn't value their relationship.


For the first time in a long time, I didn't know what to say to him as a piece of advice because the first thing that came to my mind was that "would I have taken what she was doing to him if I was in his shoes?". My answer would be NO but I can't tell him because I don't want to be the reason why his relationship would crash.

I always knew people are difficult to change but I don't understand why because their past should be enough reason for them to quit some or all of these bad acts or are they always quick to forget the things that happened in the past?

I said earlier that it wouldn't be proper for us to treat the past as a bygone and I have reasons for saying that, you might be interested to know so read along with me.

Experience and Lessons from the past must live it us forever.

We all understand that experience is the greatest teacher when talking about life matters, it is the same as saying that the past is the greatest teacher because the things that happened in the past are lessons that must be held on to as we journey through life.

One or two lessons out of the things we have experienced in life will have a role to play in our future but many of us do not understand that, it is the more reason why people commit one mistake twice and even more in life.


I am not exempted from this as well because I remembered been accused of snatching another man's wife twice because I rendered help after knowing what the husband was making them go through. It was God intervention that cleared me off the issue on the two occasions.

The mistake I made was sending money directly to them but now, I do transfer to the nearest POS shop of the receiver to avoid stories when it involves a woman.


I believe that those things that happened in the past occurred just to prevent us from something bigger in the future but what happens when we have thrashed those lessons? We will eventually fall victim to that same problem again and again until we learn to hold on to the lessons of the past.


It is possible for you not to need those lessons for yourself again but you can still use it as a guide for younger ones who look up to you for advice.

There is a Yoruba adage that says " Iriri lagba" and it means that your experience can make you a wise man or woman. You can help people make a proper decision in life with the experience you have in life.

There are people from the past that mustn't be forgotten.

This is another important reason why we mustn't forget the past, some people have gone out of their convenience just to help us in life and I believe that they mustn't be forgotten.

I remember during my junior school graduation, I had nothing to wear because my clothes were old and I knew it would be embarrassing for me to go there looking terrible because it has become a tradition for me to get a prize every year.


After all effort to get me a new dress failed, my mom told me that I won't be attending the school party and I wept bitterly.

An elder in my church was passing past, he saw me and asked what happened, I explained everything to him. He told me not to worry, he reached for his purse and gave me a thousand five hundred naira. I got a second hand cloth and was able to attend the event, the help he rendered me has remained something I cherish so much and I didn't forget the man because of that, he is reaping his good deed till today because I took him as a father.


Despite the cruelty humanity has exhibited in recent years, I can confidently say that there are still good humans among us that would help us even without knowing us from Adam. These people shouldn't be forgotten and I believe that there are numerous ways we can pay back their kindness if we don't dispose the memories of good things they did for us.


What I observe is that people sometimes get too excited or comfortable with what they have achieved or become in life and it makes them forget the past so soon.

A day's enjoyment can indeed make us forget 10 years of hardship and we can quickly fall from grace to grass if we don't hold on to the knowledge/lessons the past has taught us.

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Avatar for George_Dee
Written by   294
4 months ago
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Comments

I do believe that past is just a scene we must not think of let's forget it but not the lesson we get from it. Because we will use it t be better and wiser

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4 months ago

There's some instances that we really need to forget about our past, especially when it hurts us so much, but we need to make sure that the lesson we get from those instances is deep within our hearts.

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4 months ago

That's true, we should definitely let go off all the pain but never forget the lessons.

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4 months ago

Very true. Past is past but that doesn't mean we have to forget everything in the past. Every lesson we learned, people we met, places we went, things we did from the past could help us become a better person in the future.

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4 months ago

I have always had the belief that everything we are doing today, will have an influence tomorrow.

And when tomorrow comes, there are times we will need to reflect on back on the past.

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4 months ago

Although it is always said that instead thinking about past we should try to make our present peaceful, but its not easy to forget about the persons and happenings who made it possible for us to reach at the point we are on today and sometimes its necessary to remember our past mistakes to avoid them in future.The elder who helped you to buy new dress must be a gentle person.

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4 months ago

A lot of things have happened to us and the experience and lessons from them would play a huge role in helping handle some situations in the future.

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4 months ago

Right actually these happenings proved good for us.

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4 months ago

We sometimes forget the consequences we have suffered after some moments have passed and it's sad. Humans are so quick to forget that's why we always forget to weight the consequences before we do it. We feel we are filling a void whereas we are exposing our lack of discipline and failure to keep to our words.

A man who had never travelled before boarded a plane and he was fortunate to be beside someone with experience. He helped this newbie all through the journey even when he almost rejected the food on the plane because he thought he would have to pay. The moment he dropped at the airport and was going, this experienced man ran after him to provide further assistance maybe, just maybe he didn't know where he was going and this newbie acted as though he didn't even know the man. He started forming fake accent. He forgot who helped him.

We are always quick to forget and it's shameful.

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4 months ago

I have this feeling that the one bearing the consequence of an incident never forgets. Forgive us just another ball game from forgetting.

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4 months ago

Your write up is on point

Yeah past should not be forgotten because there are lessons to learn and it accumulates as experience

And moreover there are people Olin our live that couldn’t be forgotten Past and present

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4 months ago

Good lesson you are giving to us, plus wisdom too. We must not forget the people that help us from the past, the lesson and the decisions. Forget the ad events, not the people who helped us

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4 months ago

I do not understand people telling others to forget about the past when they are still facing the consequences even in the present, that's just wrong. Sometimes, we cannot forget

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4 months ago

Hmmmm this is deep because am not sure if any man can over look such mistake from a lady

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4 months ago

there are some happenings in past which we all cant forget nor can change them but they happened because Almighty want us to learn from them The elder at the church will reap what he sow... well past is past lets move and do the best

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4 months ago

Yeah, whatever happens then has a purpose, and not all of the lessons learned from there must be forgotten.

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4 months ago

indeed , all of those happened for a reason

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4 months ago

This is indeed a great article that one should learn from , I don't what that woman did, but with my own insight, I guess it really a bad attitude since you won't be able to take it if you were in his shoes, and some times I think why some women are like this. as a matter of fact , she was even given an opportunity to change but didn't.

And bygones shouldn't be bygones, there some past experience that we will always learn from, if we don't learn from our past mistakes , we will never learn again just like you said.

Appreciating those who helped us in past will always draw us closer to more favor, we should never forget the past because it will sure impact our lives in one way or the other.

Interesting article!

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4 months ago

She messed up her chances of having a good man that allowed her to be a new person and have a good life.

She must be addicted to that corrupt way of life.

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4 months ago
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4 months ago

Indeed she's addicted to it , Just like a Yoruba adage, if you take a big out from a mould , they will surely go back there because they can't do without it. Some people don't Worth to our time , because they will Never Know the worth of what we do to them.

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4 months ago

totally true. I believe that what dies doesn't stay dead as long as it's alive in my heart and head. the memories keep hope and love alive as, it freezes time and the moments are forever immortalized within you.

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4 months ago

This reminded me of my former classmate in Caregiving. She was caught by her husband cheating but she was forgiven.. .next time she dis the same mistake again. And was forgiven again. .the third time she did the same mistake. The husband can't take it anymore. So he divorced her.... In some cases, once a cheater always a cheater.. Lol..

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4 months ago

It baffles me why it is so difficult to desist from any act that doesn't speak well of a person.

Too bad for her, I wanted to hope she changes but it seems like she can't learn from her mistakes anymore.

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4 months ago

I'm still living in my past and can't move on sometimes it hurt and also just because of past I'm more confident in my life that i can do it once again it's not a big deal to fight against problems when you already beat it in past.

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4 months ago

The truth is that, ypur past can always serve as a means of correction in the present. The mistakes you have done in the past can be corrected in the present if and only if you want the past to leave. There is always reference to the last when you are about to fall in victim of that same past.

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4 months ago

People who tend to forget quickly definitely fall victim of the past over and over again.

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4 months ago

That why there is a saying that experience is the best teachers, you can never make the mistakes repeatedly

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4 months ago