@George_Dee 2 July 2021 more from that month

Tell the kids why...

Denial is been handled and interpreted differently by humans irrespective of our age, exposure, or gender and sometimes our reaction gets out of hand all in the name of getting we were denied of initially. No one wants to be denied what they believe they are entitled to even though it is not very important, I have seen when people place their wants above needs and the surprising thing is that they get really mad for been denied what doesn't seem necessary. I observed that denial goes wrong for wrong more than adult because adults don't really depend much on others like kids who have to look up to their guardians for the things that they need before reaching the level of becoming independent. There is no point in trying to be righteous here because we all went through the stage before becoming what we are today and I noticed that many parents are making the mistake of not telling their children why they are been denied, which resulted in a lot of troubles in the world today. **What does it have to do with the world?** Not all kids process information and reaction perfectly just like some adults, they look at things from other perspectives and take drastic actions to get what they are been denied. When I mean kids, I am not excluding the youths because some of them still depend on their parents to provide some things for them. There is nothing wrong with not giving children all that they want and denying children irrelevant things they desire a lot is not as important as letting the kids know why they are been denied. You know how kids process things these days, they end up believing they were just been denied and classify it as hate, they start developing this mindset that their parents don't cherish or care about them. Just because they don't why they were denied can make them end up seek for it elsewhere which could end up being disastrous. In the quest to get what they desire at all cost, they become wayward and probably influenced which could see them bringing harm to their family, neighbors, and even their community as a whole. **If my friends have it, why shouldn't I have mine?** This is the question most of these kids ask themselves when their parents deny them things they feel like they should have. Kids would always act like kids but it is important for parents to act as parents by telling the kids the reasons why they won't be getting what that thing they desire for so much.

**True life example:** I stumbled on the story of a girl who was rescued from the hands of a rapist. Fortunately for her, people around the neighborhood have been watching her visit a guy who very much older than her. She lived with her single mother who was working herself up to give her and her siblings a better life. She almost fell into the guy's plot because of what her mother denied her due to their inability to fulfill her wish. She wanted an android phone just like her friends which her mother denied her because she wasn't earning enough to feed not to talk about buying her an android phone. If I were to judge, I would say the girl didn't appreciate her mother's sacrifice but on the other hand, she didn't understand her mother because she was strong and didn't show a sign of weakness to the daughter. She attends a good school, lives in a good apartment, wears good clothes, she didn't understand her mother was making too much sacrifice for her to be okay. Sometimes I insist and find it important for parents to make their children see their sacrifices so that they can learn and pick lessons. This teen girl thought her mother just denied her the phone and decided to get it by all means which resulted in her almost getting raped. Her mother should have made her see the reasons why she won't be getting the phone, it might probably have prevented all the drama.

We can't expect the kids to understand what we don't share with them. Your child knows you will provide whatever he or she need so why would you hold back for something as well? Only a few of them would be able to understand without you explaining to them, let cultivate the habit of making them know why they wouldn't be getting what they want desperately. It would help them understand and also use it as a lesson for their children and others as they grow into the stage of having their children as well.