Leaving home for a purpose.
Leaving home for the first time was equally the same as leaving your comfort zone, it is a stage in life we must be in control of our lives. It is a time when one can get lost because of excessive freedom, a lot of things happen at the first experience, and here is my story.
I was never far away from home until I got admission into Polytechnic, but before then, I usually stay at work from Monday to Friday and return home for the weekend. It was difficult at first and it was so bad that I usually fall ill from time to time until I was able to take care of myself away from my family, it was hard staying away from people that I lived 15 years of my life with and I missed them a lot always.
The job required working in different parts of Lagos so I learned several surviving skills to help me save money since I was working to finance my education. The experience I gathered at the job did a lot of good for me when I eventually left home because I had to live with a group of guys I don't know before, we were blessed with apartments and it is one of the blessings that happened to me then.
My boss then actually blessed me with an apartment, it was a detached two-bedroom. Her grandmother was living in the main building, I met two occupants who were students so I just had to create my own space in one of the rooms.
Somehow, I met two friends at school who needed accommodation. I took them in out of pity and almost lost the accommodation but God intervened because I did it out of goodwill.
Leaving home was completely a new life for me, I haven't lived with strangers before and it required me to learn how to relate with people better than I use to do. The first time taught me a lot of things that became part of me even after living with my family again, I was able to influence people's life even though I wasn't good enough for myself.
Being able to do chores paid off for me, I was the cook at home during school days. Everyone usually contributes and I am glad I learned how to cook because it helped me save lots of money. There are days I usually don't add to the money contributed for cooking and I still get the largest share of the food.
Living away from home taught me how to manage and think well when planning my day, week, and even month. I knew no one was coming to help me with some things so it made me plan my life properly, I wasn't paying any bills than transportation and feeding so I just keep the money I made from teaching and doing assignment for other students for rainy days, and unlike my friends, nothing was coming in for me at the end of the month.
My roommates were good but there are days when we quarrel about things, I have threatened to leave the cooking to them on several occasions and we usually end up settling it. I learned how to rebuke people politely when they pissed me off and I also did learn how to resolve issues amicably.
I learned to be disciplined while living alone because I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted and having freedom as a teenager can be tempting, it makes you start seeing the need to do silly things.
Two of my roommates were obsessed with alcohol and before we knew it, they got the others involved. We had the flirt who doesn't see a pretty girl, thank God he is married today. He laid with lots of girls in that environment but I was able to discipline myself all through with them.
I lived with a Muslim family after school, I blended in easily because of my experience.
After spending a year with them, I got a 20,000 naira job which prompted me to get an apartment. The apartment was in the trenches and I got exposed to a lot of things, it wasn't my kind of environment but it didn't bother me much.
I learned the real deal about living alone because I was completely in control of everything. There are days it would be difficult to afford a meal in a day, there are days you will be ill but will have no one to tend to you and you just have to shake things off since no one is coming through for you.
I had to start paying utility bills myself, it wasn't new because I do support my mom since I started working after secondary school but the difference was that, I was completely responsible for the bills. The first few months were hard, there are times I get paid late at work which automatically causes me to delay that payment, and I hear all sorts of shit. To avoid that I started keeping out the previous month's salary for the next utility bills and it got worse when I lost my job.
There was always a fight but all through my stay, I didn't have a misunderstanding with anyone. Most of their quarrel started with gossip which I detest so much, everyone knew me for that so they don't do it around.
I got to understand humans more, I got to understand more about religion and various ethnic groups because the house had different tribes living in it. It wasn't difficult for me to do many things because I learned most of them from my mother.
I didn't make friends, it was hard to blend in with their dirty habits so I just choose kids as friends; every kid on the street was my friend.
I was able to impact people during my stay in that environment, I taught kids assignments because the majority of the parents there are illiterates. Married men started seeing the need to support their wives with chores because they see me doing things myself even when my girlfriend was around.
A woman once said, her husband changed for good since I got into the apartment and I am happy I had a positive impact on them.
Everyone will reach that stage of living home someday, it will be the turn for our kids at a point in their lives and I think we should help them prepare by teaching them things about living alone. Some teenagers went astray at their first shot at it, some lost their lives, and freedom sometimes gets into their heads which pushes them to do silly things.
Leaving home is really hard George especially if it is your first time. I remember when I was leaving home for my first job. I was a fresh graduate that time. I cried but I chose to be brave for my family.